In The Grasp of the Dead
by Book Mad TJ
Summary: Light’s a perfect son with a genius IQ and good looks, who gets sent away to a school for disturbed children. Why? He can see the dead. But his school is not what it seems and the schools terrifying secrets could send him into insanity. Light/L
1. Chapter 1

_**This story was originally written by --Charon and Tirael under than profile '**_**8'**

_**Pairing(s):**_** Sooner or later, LightxL… No like, no read. Simple as that. :) There may be other pairings as well…**

_**Summary: **_**Light Yagami is special. Not because of an exceptional IQ, either. It's because he can see dead people. Fortunately for him, there's a place for people like him. Welcome to Wythan Academy.**

**But this school is by no means a safe haven. In the surrounding mountains, a terrible evil is growing. Long buried in hallowed ground, bound by earth and silver, the master killer schemes and plots. Trapped in unlife, neither dead nor alive, Kira hungers for freedom and revenge.**

**His human tool is no other than Light, an avid pupil, eager to learn the dark secrets of life after death…**

**However, Light faces only one opponent: L Lawliet, a genius student with the unfortunate problem that everyone he touches will die. The cases that L has solved have earned him the title of a champion to both the dead and the living… And to protect L, the dead will do anything - even rise from their graves.**

_**Warnings:**_** Violence, language, yaoi, AU, necromancy, some random and blindingly fluffy romance, generally dark theme**

_**Rating:**_** T for now. May change in later chapters, depending on how explicit the violence gets… Most likely will stay at T, but we'll just have to wait and find out.**

_**Disclaimer:**_** Neither of us owns Death Note. We do, however, own our original characters and places, as well as our ideas. ;) **

**We apologize in advance for any spelling errors, or just general slip ups. Half of this was written at two am, and will be thoroughly edited later.**

**Now… On with the story.**

-

-

-

"_As we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others." - Robert H. Schuller_

-

Light had always hated this time of day.

It was that transitional time between night and dawn, when everything seemed to be cast into a pale black and grey monochrome. The dark outlines of lofty pine trees stood out in stark contrast against the ashen sky. Black and white. Right and wrong. If only everything were so simple…

"For heaven's sake, Light, don't look so depressed," Sachiko sighed. "You need to make a good first impression.

Her son simply looked at her balefully, then went back to staring out the train window, though he would have much rather averted his eyes from the haunting dawn that was slowly creeping over the countryside. First impressions were never a problem. He'd mastered them - all people saw was a bright, charming young boy. It was when people got to know him that they didn't like him… When the found out about the his unfortunate predicament… and the fact that he--

"She's right, you know," chimed in a rough voice. Light glanced up briefly, eyeing the bulky, pale man sitting opposite him. "You have a very handsome face - it doesn't show when you frown like that."

"Light!" his father barked suddenly. "You're doing it again. Staring at nothing. I've told you, you'll have to ignore them if you ever want to be normal."

…When they found out that he saw dead people.

"It's a little difficult _not_ to stare when they start talking to you," Light muttered grimly, looking out the window again. "And besides, it's rude."

"Light," his father warned.

He ignored him.

It wasn't as though he particularly wanted this. In fact, he would have done anything to be "normal". He didn't exactly have much control over it.

He'd been able to see them for as long as he could remember. When he was younger, his parents had dismissed his claims that there were people only he could see as 'imaginary friends'. Around the age of thirteen, they'd made him start seeing a consoler for his "problem". The therapist hadn't been able to make any progress whatsoever, as no matter what methods she tried, she found that Light was perfectly sane, except for the fact that he resolutely insisted that "they" were still there. He'd spent about two months in a rehabilitation center which was actually more like an asylum, until he decided that it would be better just to pretend his hallucinations weren't there than continue to be injected with medicine that wasn't really helping at all. Once home, he kept up appearances for as long as possible, but when of the apparitions began shouting in his ear until he acknowledged it, he'd given up. That was the point when his parents had begun to seek alternative therapy.

Apparently, that consisted of going to a school for "special" children like him.

Oh,_ grand._

Light wasn't sure what his IQ was, but he knew it was exceptionally high for a sixteen-year-old. And he didn't want to be surrounded by _special_ people. It didn't look as though he had a choice, though, as even though he'd gone back to pretending they weren't there for a time, his parents weren't convinced. They still seemed to think he was entirely insane. Which Light was starting to agree with as well.

After all, he didn't want to believe that he was actually able to see dead people. One of them had told him the details of her death once, from which he'd drawn the conclusion that they were all ghosts. Or left over energy. Or whatever they were.

Yes, he'd much rather believe he was hallucinating.

And as much as he didn't want to attend his new special school, he knew logically that he needed help for these hallucinations if he ever hoped to live a normal life. And if this 'school' could help with that… then so be it.

The train began to slow, the trees alongside the window no longer fast moving blurs - now they were slow moving blurs. Sachiko began looking nervous, as if she didn't want to part with her son again so soon. Light couldn't really pretend to feel sympathetic. He was absolutely certain that he didn't want to leave more than she wanted him to stay.

They were at a halt now. The bulky man nodded understandingly. "This is your stop, huh?"

"Yes," Light replied aloud, smiling at the unhappy intake of breath from his father at this.

"Good luck," the ghost said cheerfully. "I'll be waiting to see you on the way back, if you don't mind. It's been so very long since I've had someone to talk to…"

"I wouldn't mind at all."

"Light!" Soichiro barked. "Stop it! You're upsetting your mother."

"Sorry," the ghost sighed. "I seem to have gotten you into trouble."

"Don't worry about it," Light went on, ignoring his parents. He extended his hand to the ghost. "Light Yagami."

The ghost eyed him for a moment, then shook his hand. It's grip was cool and soft, almost human but not quite. "Harvey Montgomery."

"Pleased to meet you… See you on the return journey, then."

At that moment, however, Soichiro grabbed hold of his son's arm and began hauling him off the train. Harvey waved balefully after him. "Best of luck, Light!"

"Thanks! You too!" he called back, grinning, even as he was unceremoniously shoved down the steps onto the platform.

And then, looming up before them was a huge dark building, rising against the mountains at its back, seeming to be carved out of the very cliff-side itself. The steep tiers of its towers stood out vividly against the sun-touched countryside, seeming to be the only thing in the vast land that was unexposed to the light… In fact, the whole building was located so that no matter the time of day, it was cast into perpetual shadow.

And before it was an old sign creaking in a slight, cold breeze: _Welcome to Wythan Academy._

"Oh no," Light commented, and considered for a moment just doubling back and making a run for it. It didn't want to go to school in some sort of mansion castle thing - that was never good news. Ever book and movie he'd ever seen with a similar setting was bound to be full of terrors, or worse still, creepy teachers.

"Ah," called a friendly voice. "You must be Light."

He turned, dreading what he was about to see. A middle-aged woman with her tied back in a tight bun was making her way towards them, smiling gently.

"Ms. Crawford," she introduced, shaking his hand upon reaching them.

"Light Yagami," he sighed, looking away disinterestedly. How cliché. He was not going to like this at all, no sir… He'd made up his mind about _that_.

He waited patiently as his parents to finish their extended pleasantries, explaining his problem, and generally expressing their concern for their son's mental state. Ms. Crawford simply smiled and nodded, assuring them that Light would be looked after, and that she'd cured worse cases than this. After what seemed like an eternity and about twenty farewell hugs, Light's parents were back on the train.

The moment they were, Ms. Crawford turned to him, giving him an anxious look. "Are you alright, boy? They haven't beaten you, have they?"

"What? No!" Light stuttered, shocked that she would ask such a thing.

"Alright, just a question," she muttered. "I've found that some parents do. Think their kids are freaks, and maybe they can beat it out of them. Yours are exceptional, then."

Light blinked.

"What, are you surprised that we don't have you in butterfly nets yet?"

This was weird. "Yes," Light admitted hesitantly.

She scoffed. "Well, at least you're an honest one. Come along."

She set off at a brisk pace across the lawn, Light following behind her simply because he couldn't think of anything better to do.

"Erm… Ms. Crawford…"

"Please, call me Emily. I'm going to be calling you Light - I think it's only fair."

"Alright," he said quickly, scarcely realizing what he was agreeing to. "I'm not sure I understand - you're not treating me like I'm…" He paused. "Well, other people seem to respond differently."

"Let's clear something up," she panted. "You're not insane, and you're not hallucinating. I'm not going to give you some sort of medication, and I'm not going to put you in a straightjacket. This is a school, not an asylum."

Oh. So that was the tone they were taking. "You're not insane, you're _special_." Way to put things gently. Light _hated_ being talked down to.

"Look, Ms… Emily," he said, fighting to keep his tone under control, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'd prefer you just skip the pleasantries. I'm hallucinating. I know it. I don't need to be coddled."

She stopped in her tracks, turned to him, and looked him straight in the eyes. "You're not hallucinating. You have a gift."

"I wouldn't classify seeing people who aren't there as a gift."

"They're most certainly there. You're just the only one who can see them." She took a deep breath. "You may not believe me just yet, but there are other people like you."

"Oh, so I'm not the only loony you've encountered?" Light returned sharply, not caring that whatever chance he'd had at a good first impression was blown all to hell.

"No," she went on patiently. "There are other people with similar gifts. Not the same, by any means - you're each unique."

Light bristled. "So I'm _unique_ now?"

"Listen. To. What. I'm. Saying," she ground out. "You are not insane. In fact, I have a similar predicament. My gift… I know when people are lying."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Okay. I bet you do. So do I, and so does every--"

"No." She cut him off. "I mean, I _know_. I don't use clues like tone of voice or body language. I can_ feel_ if someone is lying. Much like you can feel that the people you see are dead."

"That's really…" He trailed off. "How did you know that they're dead?"

"Well, they're not hallucinations," Ms. Crawford sighed. "And they do _feel_ different than normal people, don't they?"

Light gaped. "Yeah. Yeah, they do. How did…"

"It's always the same. Just a feeling. Just feeling that if you look at something a certain way, it'll catch on fire. Just a feeling that if you really concentrate, you can move something without touching it…"

They stared at each other.

"Now that I have your attention," Ms. Crawford went on with a thin smile. "Welcome to Wythan Academy."

"Ooh, new guy!" Mello whistled, leaning out the window to observe the chatting pair on the grass below. "I wonder what he can do… Ooh, handsome too - just right for you, Near."

"I'll kill you," Near pointed out grimly. The small, white-haired boy was sprawled out on the carpet, playing with a set of toy soldiers. Each of the tiny figurines was marching in their perfectly arranged line. They came to an abrupt halt, readying their weapons. With only a blink as a signal from Near, they began firing noisily at their opposing forces.

_Little toy soldiers with little toy guns,_

_All formed in rank and file;_

_Many a battle they fought and won_

_For the shine of a little boy's smile_

"Hmm," Mello sighed, acknowledging that this was a good enough reason to stop teasing. "I wonder… Maybe I'll just pop down there for a bit… see what they're talking about…"

"Don't," Matt ordered darkly.

"You're right. I'll just do my stalker-stare out the window. No problem there," Mello growled.

Matt looked up from the video game he was playing, amused. "So passive aggressive, Mello," he chided, and, with a leisurely snap of his fingers, sent a tiny spark of fire flying across the room at the unsuspecting blonde.

"Owe!" Mello whined, rubbing his blistered arm. "I've told you to stop that!"

"Ooh, burned," Near commented from his position on the floor.

"And I've told you to stop being so passive aggressive," Matt replied cheerfully.

Grumbling to himself, Mello turned away again, eying the new arrival on the grass. "Poor kid. Probably scared witless, if he thinks this is a reform school like I did. Very good-looking, though. Chestnut hair catching in the wind, amber eyes flashing…" He struck a dramatic pose and went on, "But soft! What light through yonder window window breaks..."

Near glanced up at him for a moment. "Mello, if I wanted to know, I'd come look myself."

"I like him," Mello went on resolutely, his mind apparently made up. "I wonder what his name is. Wonder what he can do. Hope it's something cool. Like mind-reading. Then again, do we really want to have a mind-reader around?"

"Not with the way you think," Matt commented.

"True. Though that would make hooking up easier… Wouldn't have to have that awkward "I have feelings for you" talk. They'd already know… Then, the drawback is that you could never cheat on them… Tricky…"

Near drew the toy soldiers to a halt, annoyed. "Mello, take it easy. You haven't even met the kid, and you're already planning your future together."

"Just hypothetically," Mello assured airily. "Besides, he's not my type anyway."

"You're going to keep bugging us until we let you go down there, aren't you?"

Mello blinked innocently as he began unwrapping a chocolate bar. "Why would I do a silly thing like that?"

"The answer is still no."

"Damn it." He took a loud, angry bite out of his chocolate. "Just because you two aren't exactly social butterflies doesn't mean that I can't still have other friends!"

No one even bothered replying. Mello grumbled something under his breath and went back to staring out the window. "Beautiful, really… In a strange way, though. He looks different than anyone I've ever seen. Maybe it's that strangeness that makes him so appealing…"

"Mello," Matt warned, holding his fingers ready to snap.

Mello made a disgusted noise. "Forget it. You guys never do anything fun."

"I do believe it's called 'apathy'," Near supplied. "And we're having plenty of fun. You're the one who needs to find a hobby."

"I have a hobby."

"Chocolate isn't a hobby."

"That depends on who you ask."

"So… What you're saying is… These sort of abnormalities are…"

"Not so abnormal at all," Ms. Crawford finished wearily. "Still much less than one percent of the population, but that's just from what we know. There are likely many more cases that are still undiscovered."

Light was silent for a moment, considering this. "So what's the point of this school, anyway? Research?"

She scoffed. "We'd never conduct research on a living being. You're not test subjects, you're students… Mainly the academy was designed to get children away from parents who couldn't possibly understand their gifts. Often, in those scenarios, the parents would become abusive, as I've already told you. In addition, we're try to teach our students how to control their gifts so that they can eventually live normal lives, without loosing their gifts." She paused. "It's difficult, trying to control them, but after a few years… Well, it's like flipping a switch. Of course, that's not the only thing we teach - we still attend to math, science, the arts. Normal things."

Light eyed her evenly. Either she was as insane as he was… or… Maybe there was hope.

"You may need some time to adjust," Ms. Crawford continued, looking at him as though gauging his reaction. "Some gifts are rather… shocking… But you get used to them…"

"I don't think I really have much of choice about that." He sighed heavily. "If you can teach me how to control this… gift, as you say… then I'm in. I'd give anything to be normal."

"Don't go putting yourself down like that," she grumbled, putting a hand on her new student's shoulder. "Come. Let's go inside."

-


	2. Chapter 2

_**This story was originally written by --Charon and Tirael up to chapter twelve. **_

**_..._**

Inside, the school was elaborate, but in disrepair. There was tarnished walnut paneling lining a huge, multilayer staircase. The main floor was composed entirely of white and grey marble that echoed heavily when trod upon. Fluted rafters spider webbed across the high-arching ceiling.

But it wasn't the building that attracted Light's attention. It was the occupants.

A girl was speaking in several different languages, chatted avidly with a group of foreign looking students who were hanging on her every word. Another girl was levitating several feet in the air as she read a thick book, looking bored. In the middle of the floor, boy with scraggly dark hair was looking up at the chandelier with mild interest, and the candles were changing colors from white, to blue, to green, and then, finally, crimson red. Seeming to decide that this was the color he wanted, the boy smiled and nodded, then walked off.

Or started to.

"Teru!"

He turned back to them, wincing slightly and adjusting his thinly framed glasses. "Yes, Emily?"

"I distinctly remember having asked you to leave the chandelier alone."

"Me too," he drawled lazily, looked at Light with keen interest. "Are you new here?"

Light simply nodded.

"Nice. Always good to have new blood." As he spoke, the candle flames were slowly changing back to their original color. "What can you do?"

Light shrugged. "See dead people," he hazarded. He had a feeling this wasn't your everyday run-of-the-mill "gift".

It appeared that he was right. Teru curled the corner of his lip into a sneer. "That's not very useful."

Ms. Crawford was about to speak, but Light cut in sharply. "Neither is being able to change the color of a candle flame."

Teru eyed him for a moment, as if sizing up this newest comment. Then, "You're wearing a brown suit. I think you'd look better in black. I'd like your hair to be black, too."

"Teru--" Ms. Crawford warned, but too late.

Light glanced down - indeed, his shirt was now deep black… He had a feeling that his hair would be the same. Oh great. He probably looked like a coroner.

"Change it back," Ms. Crawford ordered sharply.

Teru sighed, and with a flick of his wrist, set everything back to how it had been before. "My apologies. I simply thought you might like something… darker. To match your _gift_, if you can call it that."

"Teru Mikami…" Ms. Crawford began, furiously.

He shrugged. "Sorry about that. I suppose I'll be seeing you around, whatever-your-name-is. Later." And, with a smile, he turned and walked off again, at a deliberately leisurely pace, ignore Ms. Crawford's frustrated sigh from behind.

"I sometimes wish that I could apologize for other people," she muttered worriedly. "He's really quite agreeable once you get to know him… just a bit…"

"Yeah," said Light shortly. "It's fine."

"No, it's not," she muttered. "You're fine, Light; it's just that most students don't… They don't have such… well… _dark_ gifts as you. They might be a bit… unwelcoming at first, but…"

He only sighed hugely to say that he didn't want her to continue with this spiel.

She still looked worried, but began leading the way across the floor. "I'll give you a tour, then… I suppose I'll show you to your room." The way she hesitated on this last phrase was slightly suspicious, but Light dismissed it. For the moment, at least.

"The dining hall…" The passed through a huge room lined with engraved marble pillars. "The kitchen…" From inside the noisy clatter of the kitchen, there was a loud, angry shout.

"_When I find out who bent this skewer, I'm going to run it through his eye!"_

"Don't mind that, it's just Bridget - she's quite lovable once you get to know her…"

Light wondered how many more people he was going to need to "get to know" before he actually like anyone here.

Sometime later, after receiving a full tour of every classroom, from art to chemistry, Ms. Crawford seemed to resign herself to having exhausted every possible room on the first floor. "That's it, then," she breathed. "I guess there's no where left to go but… your new room…"

"If you don't mind my saying so, Ms… Emily… You make that fairly ominous," Light pointed out.

"Well… Your roommate is… different."

Light raised an eyebrow. "Different how?"

"He… doesn't talk much. His gift is… well, it's rude of me to tell you, but… everyone he touches - skin to skin contact, that is - well, they sort of _die_."

Light stared at her.

"So he doesn't touch people," she finished awkwardly.

"Die? Die how?"

"Heart attack within forty seconds. He can't seem to control it, either… Well, maybe he can, but… It's a bit difficult to find someone to test it out on…" She gave a slightly nervous laugh.

"I would bet…" Light muttered. "So… what's his name?"

"Ryuzaki. Refuses to tell us what his last name it, poor dear. He doesn't trust people very much, I'm afraid. And people don't seem to trust him…" She frowned, as if troubled.

"Well…" Light drew in a deep breath. "I think this may be the start of a beautiful friendship."

With a soft knock, the door swung open.

"Hello, Ryuzaki," Ms. Crawford greeted brightly. "Your roommate is here."

Light followed her inside. A small teenager, perhaps a year or two older than Light was, looked up, gazing at them with huge, blank eyes that were an almost eerie shade of charcoal black. Thorns of thick black hair hung forward in front of his eyes, not quite messy, but more or less in a decidedly just rolled-out of bed look. The pallor of his skin seemed to be insisting that he had never seen the light of day. Hunched over in an absolutely horrible posture, his bare toes gripping the edge of his chair tensely, he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and blue jeans, as well as a somewhat lost expression.

_Bizarre elegance_ was the best way Light could describe the general appearance of the guy.

"Pleased to meet you," he greeted awkwardly.

Ryuzaki stared at him impassively.

"You're going to be spending a lot of time together, so I suggest that you make an effort to--"

"Cute, but stupid," Ryuzaki assessed suddenly. He gave a tiny smile in the shocked silence that followed, then went back to staring off into space. "I said that I didn't want a roommate, Emily."

"Oh my," Ms. Crawford breathed, looking between Light and his new roommate in horror. "Light, I apoli--"

"It doesn't matter." Light sat down on the bed opposite Ryuzaki, looking directly into his blank eyes. He wasn't going to have another person call him useless today. He was sick of it, and he was sick of being talked down to. "I'm Light Yagami. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki blinked back at him. "What's your gift?"

"I see dead people… Literally."

"I assume you already know mine. I doubt Emily would have let you in here without first telling you," he deadpanned.

"I know. And I've also drawn the conclusion that you're just as much of an outcast here as I'm going to be. No one wants to hang out with the kid who sees dead guys. And you don't want to hang out with anyone in case you accidentally touch them," Light said quickly.

Ryuzaki simply stared at him.

Ms. Crawford was looking frantically between the two of them as though she was watching a tennis match.

"He can stay," Ryuzaki consented at last. "But if you think that our mutual status as outcasts is going to draw us together, think again."

"I don't want to be stuck as an outcast, either. I have a feeling that being your friend might do that."

Ryuzaki looked back at Ms. Crawford, smiling again. "I like him. He can stay. On the condition that you make him wear gloves. All the time."

"I don't think--"

Light interrupted her. "Deal."

The afternoon passed in silence. Neither made much of an attempt to get to know the other, and rather sat submerged in their own thoughts until dinner - at which point they went their own separate ways.

The dining hall, even when filled, still had plenty of free space, which made Light wonder briefly if it were originally designed to hold more people. He was debating between sitting alone, or finding a likely looking group to join when the decision was suddenly taken out of his hands.

The air before him suddenly shimmered, condensed, and shimmered again. And, standing before him was a tall girl with blonde hair and vivid (if somewhat unfriendly) blue eyes.

"What the…" Light started, before realizing that such occurrences were probably common place here, and it might be rude to comment.

"Hi."

Oh God. It wasn't a girl. It was a _guy_.

"You're new here, huh?" he said brightly.

Light could only nod, stunned.

"That's cool. What excuse did you get? I was told this was supposed to be a reform school." He snorted. "I broke into my principle's office. Security cameras caught the whole thing. Couldn't for the life of 'em figure out how I just appeared out of thin air. So I just got sent here." He chuckled. "What's your name, by the way?"

"L-Light."

He nodded. "That's cool, too. Mello's the name here…" As he spoke, he was unwrapping a large, thick chocolate bar. "So. What's your deal?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your, you know, 'gift' or whatever you want to call it." He took a loud bite out of the chocolate bar, smiling contentedly.

"I…" Light gulped, well aware that this entire display had attracted the attention of a few pairs of curious eyes. Most likely sizing him up. Would the new kid fit in, or be just like the reclusive Ryuzaki? Oh boy. "I see dead people."

Mello's face instantly contorted in something between shock and disgust. "Are you serious? That's weird."

"Tell me about it," Light muttered.

"So…" He broke off another piece of chocolate with his teeth. "Are there any of them… here, like, now?"

The truthful answer was yes, but Light didn't want to say that. They were almost everywhere, drifting about and going through what they seemed to think were normal lives… And there were one or two here, sitting at their tables just like any other student.

Of course, he could always come up with a witty reply…

He blurted out the first thing that popped to mind. "Yeah. My roommate." He gestured toward Ryuzaki, who was sitting hunched in the corner.

Mello gave a loud bark of laughter that was joined by a few onlookers. "Good one. Ergh, you got stuck with that freak?"

Light glanced toward Ryuzaki again - a slight blush was coloring his pale cheeks. Other than that, he seemed to give no indication that he'd heard the comment. "Yeah. Sadly," he muttered, looking away. It was easier than watching the poor kid's reaction, after all.

"Don't envy you there," Mello prattled on. "I imagine that he'd just sit there all night, watching you sleep. Or something. Creepy." He shrugged, apparently loosing interest. "But, seriously, are there… ghosts here?"

"A few."

Blue eyes widened. "Is there one standing behind me or something?"

"Not at the moment."

"That's creepy. Jesus, you're really gonna freak me out," Mello laughed.

That was assuming that they continued associating with each other… Light didn't like Mello at all - he was pushy and loudmouthed. Not the sort of person Light wanted to be too friendly with. Then again, from the looks of things, Mello was popular here. Rejecting this attempt at friendship may very well be throwing away any chance he had at a social life. And it wasn't like he had Ryuzaki to fall back on - he'd burned that bridge when he'd agreed with Mello's "freak" comment. Damn.

Not that he particularly wanted to be Ryuzaki's friend.

At that moment, Mello's spiel was interrupted by the arrival of two new figures. The smaller of the two was a pale, white-haired boy with shrewd dark eyes. "You ambushed him," he commented sadly, looking from Mello to Light.

The second boy joined in, frowning. "Real out of fashion, Mello."

Anyone crazy enough to wear an ensemble like _that _in public knew absolutely nothing about fashion. The most fantastically horrifying red-and-black-striped, long-sleeved sweater imaginable, hugely over-sized orange goggles, and a large suede jacket. He looked like he was expecting a snow storm - indoors.

"You're jealous you didn't think of it first," Mello snapped hotly. "Light, this is Near--" he gestured to the white-haired boy, "and Matt."

"Nice to meet you," Light muttered.

Near was staring at him like a bug under a microscope. "Now you've scared him, Mello," he said, not addressing Light. He didn't seem to realize the irony in that - or maybe he did, and it just wasn't showing. It was difficult to tell.

"Have not," Mello denied, pretending to be offended. "I've made proper introductions is all." He smiled confidently. "But, seriously, who loves me?"

"Everyone, and yourself first and foremost," Matt replied automatically.

Mello ignored him. "Ah, Light, you've got to tell them what you can do! Guys, listen to this…"

Light recoiled slightly. He felt like he was on display in some museum, but he couldn't see a way out, either. "I… can see dead people."

"And he's _serious_, too," Mello informed his friends. A bit like a tour guide, actually.

Light knew that he had to think of _some_ way out of this. He was being steamrolled here.

"Weird," Matt observed. "That's like… like that Weird Kid or something."

"Ooh!" Mello exclaimed. "That Weird Kid is his _roommate_. Damn, I pity him. Can you imagine having to sleep in the same room as that creep? Ergh."

"The thought alone is enough to give me nightmares," sympathized Near. He didn't particularly sound as though he meant it, though. Then again, he didn't really sound too enthused about anything, so that didn't mean much.

"The way he slouches around…" Mello went on, shuddering. "I swear, he looks like some sort of undead _thing_ that Doctor Frankenstein decided to zap some life into just for the hell of it."

From where he was sitting alone, Ryuzaki visibly flinched. Light saw, for just a moment, Mello casting him a cruel glance out of the corner of his eye… checking that he'd heard.

Ah. So that's how it was. He'd have to choose between Ryuzaki and Mello? Oh hell. What a choice.

It wasn't like he hated Ryuzaki or anything, but… he wasn't exactly the friendliest of individuals. So if this was the price that Light needed to pay to belong here… then so be it.

"Yeah," he said airily. "Only talked to him for a few minutes, but by god, what a _freak_."

"Yeah, there's always one creepy guy," Mello snickered. "Sucks that you got stuck with him."

It was at about this point that Ryuzaki pushed away his untouched plate of food, got to his feet, and slouched out of the room.

Light felt a slight stab of guilt - but it wasn't really his fault, was it? Maybe Ryuzaki could've tried to be a bit more sociable, normal, even…

He changed the topic, looking between Near and Matt. "So, what can you two do?"

"Telekinesis," Near supplied blandly.

"Wicked pyro crap. _That's_ what's up," Matt said with a grin.

This was about how the entire dinner hour passed - introductions, trading background information, Mello bursting out with random comments about their surrounding peers. Light seemed to have made a good first impression, regardless of his weird gift, and his weird roommate. When Ms. Crawford began ushering them out of the dining hall, Mello turned to his new 'friend' for a final time. "You're pretty cool, you know," he pointed out. "I could get used to you… And… well… if you really want to join our group…" The blonde gave a thin smirk. "Then meet us out on the grounds, by the fountain, midnight." He winked.

"Right," Light confirmed, nodding. "Thanks."

"Oh, and one last thing, before you go back to your room," Mello whispered, as Ms. Crawford was drawing closer. "Curfew's at ten. Don't get caught."

When he arrived back at his room, Ryuzaki was already there, sitting exactly as he had when they had first been introduced. The only change was that he seemed to have traded out his t-shirt for a long sleeved white shirt for sleeping apparel. And this time, he didn't look up when Light walked in.

Light considered apologizing to him for a moment, then thought better of it, as it wouldn't really be a sincere apology. Instead, he simply flopped down on his bed and pulled a pillow over his face, thinking.

What an eventful day.

First, finding out that he wasn't insane, and that there were other people like him. And now, the promise of the friendship of one of the popular students at his new school, only in exchange for one small, bent rule…

Hell. There was a chance that this might be a test - perhaps Mello simply wanted to see how well he could stand up to peer pressure. Or maybe he seriously meant it… there might be some sort of after hours initiation he had to go through…

Light grimaced at that thought. Ergh. It didn't sound good either way.

And besides, he didn't want to go breaking the rules his very first night here. Ms. Crawford had been extremely hospitable, and breaking one of the few rules imposed upon him…

And Ryuzaki wasn't going to cover for him if he did leave his room. He might even try to be a hero and go _tell_ on him.

Light ran a hand over his face. He wanted to belong here more than anything. He didn't fit in anywhere else, due to his 'sixth sense', but now that he was here with people who didn't think he was insane for it…

Throwing away a chance at _popularity_ was just stupid.

He'd just have to wait for Ryuzaki to fall asleep, then… And then he'd sneak out sometime before midnight…

He had to wait a while to meet the first requirement. Ryuzaki was apparently an insomniac - which would have been annoying, had Light not been trying to stay awake himself. Ryuzaki was fidgety, he ate a lot of sweets, and he cried a lot. Light had a feeling that there was no one to blame but himself for that last one, but _still_…

From the sounds of things, the guy should be used to it.

So he hadn't stuck up for his poor, bullied, creepy roommate. Big deal. No one ever said they had to be friends…

Argh… if Ryuzaki didn't stop eating marshmallows pretty soon, he'd be awake all night with a sugar high… Maybe this was like, comfort food or something- in which case, that was Light's fault as well. The guy certainly didn't look like snacking was one of his hobbies. He was weirdly thin and boney, as if he _never _ate. Or enjoyed a steady diet of human blood… His aversion to sunlight certainly seemed to suggest something vampiric to an average onlooker. Or at least something not quite human…

Yes, that was the best way to describe him. Not quite human. Unusually pale, unusually long fingers, and unusually soft looking skin…

Light sighed hugely. Why was he so distracted with worrying about his roommate? He needed to figure out how he was going to sneak out of here without being caught… He could only remember a vague layout of the building - he'd have to go down the hall, take a right… find the staircase somehow… and somehow manage to get out the main doors without being seen…

No, those doors were too large, and too loud. He'd have to sneak out a side door… If he could find one…

Maybe he should try to find a flashlight first.

Sometime near eleven, Ryuzaki seemed to settle into a fitful sleep. He tossed and turned a lot, and made loud whining noise that Light was certain would keep him awake all night under normal circumstances… But seeing as he needed to stay awake until midnight anyway…

What was he _thinking_? This was the worst idea he'd ever had. He didn't even like Mello. Or Matt or Near, for that matter. And yet, here he was, seriously considering breaking the rules on his very first night here, simply so that he could be part of there group. It was absolute madness.

Forget it. He could be the bigger person. And maybe he'd apologize to Ryuzaki in the morning…

And just as he was beginning to drift off, a hand suddenly clamped over his mouth.

He gave a have strangled shout of surprise before a familiar voice began hissing in his ear. "Shh! Shh, it's just me - if you aren't careful, you're going to wake up your roommate."

He turned away sharply, freeing himself. "Mello? What the hell are you-- How did you get in here?!"

"I teleport, remember?" he whispered, smirking. "And I just wanted to inform you, there's a difference between showing up fashionably late, and not showing up at all."

"Maybe I didn't _want_ to show up," Light insinuated. "Ever think of that?"

"Oh, you _want _to," Mello asserted. "This school is a dreary old place. We're about the only exciting ones here. I mean, do you seriously want to get stuck with him--" he gestured not-so-subtly at Ryuzaki, "as your only friend?"

"I'm going to sleep, Mello," Light growled, turning away and burying his face in his pillow again.

It didn't seem to be enough to deter Mello, however. He made an unhappy noise of complaint, then suddenly hugged Light tightly. "Please? C'mon. Why don't you like me?" he whined, as innocent as possible.

Light twisted around, glaring at him and placing a hand on his shoulder to hold him away at a safe distance. "Mello. Get off."

Conversely, he leaned over further towards Light, so close that their noses were practically touching. "I know you'll regret it if you don't at least consider what I'm asking."

He said nothing, but the crazed alluding smirk on Mello's face remained exactly where it was.

"Come on, Light. Don't take this offer for granted. I don't give it to everyone. Thing is, I like you. Weird gift and all. I want to get to know you better." He winked.

"God, get _away_!" Light snapped, placing his hand squarely in the middle of Mello's chest and shoving him back. "I am _not_ going to join your little 'group'!"

"But I want you to," Mello pouted. Apparently he was used to getting his way.

"No," Light insisted firmly.

Mello sighed dejectedly, slowly disentangling himself and heading for the door, though he obviously could've teleported just as easily. "Fine," he murmured. "I'll just… go back to whatever I was doing before I met you, then…" He cast a dramatic glance back over his shoulder, then looked between Light and Ryuzaki's sleeping form. "Good luck." In a low chuckle, he added, "You'll need it."

"Alright, _fine_," Light finally ground out, scarcely realizing what he was agreeing to. Mello was going to try every possible method until he caved anyway, so what was the difference?

"Yes!" cheered Mello, and before Light could rethink his decision, the blonde boy had grabbed hold of his hand and--

And they were suddenly outside.

"Oh good," Near said. "He's here."

Light blinked, disorientated. Apparently Mello was _really_ good at teleporting…

"Yeah, just needed a bit of conniving," Mello boasted, putting an arm around Light's shoulders and grinning as though he was immensely proud of his accomplishment. Light squirmed uncomfortably, wanting to pull away, but thinking better of it.

There was a small spark in the darkness, and then a burning smell permeated the night air. Near shot a sideways glance at Matt, who had placed a cigarette to his lips. "What?" he exclaimed defensively.

"That's a filthy habit," Near pointed out. Apparently he really was incapable of showing emotion, because his voice remained just as flat as ever.

In answer, Matt he took a long drag of his cigarette and puffed a smoke circle in Near's face. Near waved his hand around irately and coughed.

"If you know what I mean," Matt finished, as if this proved his point.

"C'mon, both of you," Mello barked sharply, putting an end to this 'argument'. "You're forgetting why we're here."

"I haven't forgotten," stated Near.

"You're acting like it," Mello reasoned, absentmindedly massaging Light's shoulder as he spoke. "Matt, do you want to explain the protocol?"

Matt shrugged. "Whatever." He took another drag from his cigarette, then gestured vaguely toward a hill. "There's the church up there. The preacher's got a drinking problem, always keeps a buncha stuff lying around. Thing is, you go in there, steal one bottle, come back out, we all get drunk, yada yada yada, and you're in." He grinned. "Pretty simple, actually."

Light balked. Now they were not only asking him to break the academy's rules, they were asking him to steal, and from a church no less!

"Think of it this way," Mello said, quickly seeing his new friend's alarmed expression. "You're doing everyone's favorite preacher a favor. At least he won't have a hang over for tomorrow's services." He snickered.

A cool wind swept past, as if in a warning.

"And besides, if you back out we'll have to find some way to make sure you never tell anyone," Matt added.

"That should be incentive," Near said unenthusiastically.

Damn it.

Light cleared his throat, then nodded. "Fine. Though I have to say, I think this is a particularly tasteless initiation." He shrugged, then set off towards the indicated hill, his three new friends following in tow.

Indeed, there was a dark, looming church, complete with leering stone gargoyles just over the crest of the hill. Light gulped. It didn't look promising.

"Hang on" said Mello suddenly. "I just thought of something - it haunted or anything like that?"

Light shot him a look. "I won't know until I go inside, will I?"

"Right. Good luck, then."

And, without hesitating and giving himself time to back out, Light squared his shoulders and stepped inside. Hell, it was dark in there… the only illumination came from the slivers of moon light allowed in through the door - and that wasn't much.

"Dude, is it haunted?" Matt called.

"I don't know!" Light snapped. It wasn't like they were there all the time or anything… He drew in a deep breath, and took another step forward--

There was a small giggle from Mello, just before the door slammed shut, and the lock clicked into place.

-


	3. Chapter 3

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"That's not very kind," commented a small girl sitting by the alter.

Light glanced at her. "Not really," he agreed, trying to fight back a wave of panic.

She looked up, confused. "You can see me?"

"Yeah. It's sort of… a talent of mine," he replied with a shrug.

"Oh." She sighed wistfully. "It's been a long time since anyone's been able to see me. A very long time."

Light tried the door knob, not really expecting an outcome. He was right… Locked from the outside.

"I wouldn't worry about it," the girl said mildly. "Tomorrow's Sunday. Someone will find you in the morning. Those three do this sort of thing all the time. It's a shame that they haven't thought it out all the way. They really could keep people locked in here a lot longer if they'd do it sometime other than Saturday night…"

That was probably the plan, though… they wanted their victims to be found, soon, so that it would be apparent that they'd broken curfew…

"Sick bastards," Light muttered under his breath. Oh, this was just peachy. He was going to be expelled on his first day here._ Thanks a lot, Mello…_

"You shouldn't swear here," the girl warned. "This is a place of God…"

Light, already annoyed, rounded on her. "If you really believe in God, then you'd believe that I shouldn't swear at all, since God is supposed to be present everywhere," he said coldly.

She twirled a strand of shining blonde hair around one finger, smiling innocently. "No, He lives at the church," she insisted.

Light blinked. Here he was, taking out his bad day on an five-year-old. Great self-restraint there, yeah…

"Did you die here?" he asked gently, going to sit next to her.

"No," she replied, smiling. "This was my favorite place. I used to come here with my mom every Sunday. It's about the only really good memory I have of her. I still see her occasionally, but she can't see me." She stopped smiling for a minute. "I'm really sad about that, but…"

Light gently stroked her hair. "You still see your mom _here_?"

"Yes. Every Sunday," she replied brightly.

"What's your name?"

"Patricia Crawford. I can spell it, too," she proclaimed.

Oh_ no._

He looked at her seriously. "Is your mom's name Emily, Patricia?"

"I don't know," she chirped.

"Patricia…" He paused, thinking. "If you'll help me out, I think I can talk to your mom for you. I can tell her anything you want me to."

"Really?"

"Yes, Patricia. I'll give her a message for you. Like the postman, right?" He nodded at the smile this got from her. "But I need you to do me a favor first - you can leave the church if you want to, right?"

"Of course I can, silly," she laughed, as if the idea that she was not able to was absurd.

Light laughed as well. "Sorry, that was a silly question. Patricia, I'll tell you what - let's make a deal. If you unlock that door for me, I'll tell your mom a message for you. Is that okay?"

"I would love that!" she exclaimed. "You really will tell her for me? I miss her terribly…" Her lower lip trembled slightly.

"I know, Patricia. I'll tell her anything for you. All you have to do is unlock that door. Can you do that for me?"

She nodded and leapt to her feet, skipping across the room, blonde curls of hair bouncing merrily across her back. She vanished through the wood of the door, and then suddenly reappeared, smiling proudly. "Okay. I got it."

"Thank you, Patricia," he said, smiling. "Alright, now, what would you like me to tell your mom for you?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking "Tell her that… I miss her a lot and I wish that she could see me… and also…" She blushed slightly. "Would you ask her to take care of Rodney for me? I miss him too. And he's afraid to be alone in the dark…"

"I'll be certain to tell her that. I think she'll be very happy to hear from you. You're a very brave little girl, Patricia."

She giggled.

"One last question, before I go," Light went on slowly. "Do you mind telling me how you died?"

"Oh, that's easy," she dismissed, waving a hand. "Kira killed me. It wasn't very nice of him."

"Kira?"

"He looked a lot like you, actually," she continued. "Except taller. And he was always wearing black. And real pale." She paused, blushing again. "He was very handsome. If he hadn't killed me, he could have been my Prince Charming."

Kira. Sounds like…

Killer.

Something cold, almost tangible, seemed to brush against Light's skin, and he shivered.

Whoever this Kira was… he'd murdered a five-year-old, for God's sake… What a psychopath…

"I like you better than him," Patricia surmised. "You'll visit me, won't you?"

"Of course I will," he muttered softly, backing away at toward the door. "I'll even see you tomorrow during church."

She cheered.

"See you soon, Patricia." Light cast her a final smile, then…

Picked up a dusty bottle of something that looked suspiciously alcoholic, and ran for it. Back to the school, in through a side door at the kitchen, up the stairs, and into his room where he threw the door shut and collapsed against it, panting.

"Hello."

"R-Ryuzaki," he breathed, looking up and finding himself face to face with his pale roommate. "I didn't know you were awake."

"I'm always awake."

Oh.

"Then… you… heard everything?"

He nodded. "They locked you in the church, didn't they? Did the same to me, some years ago."

Light nodded breathlessly. "Why didn't you… say something?"

"I might have. But…" He shrugged. "It hardly seemed fair, for me to try to help you, when you've only been entirely nasty to me since you arrived."

"Revenge - is that what you're saying?"

"You could call that, yes."

Light groaned. Oh, this had backfired _hugely_. "Please, don't tell anyone…"

"I won't." He blinked, as if this idea were ridiculous. "You're still wearing your gloves."

"Yeah." He coughed slightly. "I hope that… after all this… you'll still let me stay here."

Ryuzaki began chewing at his thumbnail pensively. "Why should I?"

"Because I'm sorry."

"You're not sorry. You regret the consequences of your actions, but you're not sorry for the actions themselves."

"No… really… I am."

Silence. Ryuzaki stared at him from across the room, unblinking, still chewing his thumbnail. "I don't believe you," he said at last. "But you can stay." And, with that, he turned away, apparently having lost interest.

Light thought this was more than fair. With a tired sigh, he got back into bed, and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

As he slept, he dreamed.

_The woods were thick and dark, with moss overhanging from the pine boughs and fallen logs protruded from the grassy undergrowth. Light was wandering between the narrow avenues of trees, Patricia tripping along happily in front of him. She seemed oblivious to his presence._

_A chill wind, dank and smelling of decay, whipped through the trees suddenly. Light paused, an acute sense of foreboding creeping over him… Patricia didn't seem affected._

"_Patricia."_

_Oh God._

_That voice was evil. Utterly evil. In it were the elements of everything horrific. Patricia was only a young girl, and she couldn't understand words like "bestial", "sadistic" or "diabolical". But Light most certainly could._

"_Kira!" Patricia exclaimed, running forward to embrace the tall figure that had stepped onto her path. The man's face was cast into shadow and obscured by thick dark hair._

_This was Patricia's dream, and Light's nightmare._

"_I brought you something," Kira said, in that heavy, graveled voice that seemed to be wrenched from the shadowed corner of his very soul. He held out a small teddy bear to her. "I know you're a bit old for teddy bears, but he's very special to me. His name is Rodney. If you would take care of him for me…"_

"_Oh, yes, of course!" she exclaimed, holding the bear in a tight hug. "Anything for my Prince Charming."_

_Kira bowed his head in a dramatic display of respect, and Patricia giggled. "My heart is yours, fair princess!" _

_Light gave hiss of pain. That voice was close to agony - how could the girl stand it--_

_And, suddenly, Kira looked up, looking directed at Light through blood-red eyes. He looked almost identical to Light himself, save for a long, jagged scar running across his face. And… Light had never worn such a cruel, vindictive smirk in his life._

_Patricia turned sharply as well, looking as though she had just noticed her new friend's presence. She looked terrified. "Light! Run!"_

_He couldn't run. He was held firmly in place was the sheer force of Kira's gaze, those crimson eyes seeming to pierce straight through him--_

"_Hello, Light."_

_He screamed--_

And jerked awake suddenly, breathing hard. Ryuzaki eyed him levelly, remaining in exactly the same place he'd been before.

"Light-kun had a nightmare," he surmised.

_That _was an understatement.

* * *

Morning came far too early.

Light gave a tired sigh and dragged himself out of bed, unpleasantly surprised to see Ryuzaki was already fully awake, sitting on the edge of his chair and staring at him.

"Please tell me you weren't watching me sleep," Light grumbled, remembering Mello's words earlier.

"I was simply waiting for you to wake up."

Yeah, _right_.

Light didn't reply, instead going to the mirror and examining his reflection critically. Ooh, not a pretty sight…

Ryuzaki was tugging on a pair of thin leather gloves, very similar to the ones Light was still wearing. "Here. I can help you." And, without waiting for permission, he picked up a brush from the dresser and began roughly combing out the tangles that had been left by sleep in Light's hair.

"Owe!" he protested, squirming.

"You'll get used to it."

"OWE! Take it easy! Why should you--argh! Why should you be allowed to comb my hair? Your own is looking sorely neglected."

"I don't need to comb my hair. You, however…"

"Stop. It," Light ground out, grabbing hold of Ryuzaki's wrist and forcing his hand away.

This turned out be a very bad idea indeed.

Suddenly, with not logical reason in sight, Ryuzaki released a sharp cry and pain and leapt away.

Light looked at him curiously. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Ryuzaki replied, voice shaking ever so slightly. "You just startled me."

"I'm sorry," Light muttered with a shrug. Seemed logical enough that Ryuzaki responded that way to human touch. Probably unaccustomed to it…

He was just about to change out of the clothes he'd slept in when he noticed Ryuzaki watching him attentively. Oh, grand. This was going to be a fun arrangement. Forget it. He'd change clothes later. Wasn't as though he was in pajamas or anything.

"Now. Church services, or something like that?"

Ryuzaki nodded and slouched out of the room wordlessly, casting Light a baleful glance of his shoulder. Light blinked, shook his head, and followed him.

* * *

"WHAT?!" Mello burst out, causing a few startled birds to take flight. "Not fair!"

The cause of this commotion, of course, was the fact that Light Yagami was striding across the grass at that moment, and not trapped inside the church.

"Shut up," Near shot at him, as several curious bystanders were eying them. "Not the time, not the place."

"How did…" Mello started to whine, then broke off. "That's not fun… We only get new students once in a while, and to go spoiling it like that… Who does he think he is?!"

"I like him," Matt commented, adjusting his goggles. "_That's_ what's up."

"I swear to you, Matt, you say that dumb catch phrase one more time and I'll…"

* * *

By the time they reached the church, Light had firmly made up his mind that he was not going to tell Ms. Crawford about his interaction with Patricia. Promises be damned, nothing could be more incriminating that saying that you were out after hours talking to a ghost. And he wasn't in the mood to be expelled today. Or given detention. Or whatever they did to you here.

Besides, neither of the involved parties ever needed to find out. And what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

He spent the next hour and a half trying to ignore the basilisk glare he was getting from Mello.

And he cast Patricia a wink as if you say that he'd fulfilled his end of the bargain. But that scarcely mattered.

At the end of the services, Light made a b-line for the door. There were so many people he didn't want to confront right now… Predictably, before he was out of the building, he was cornered by one of them.

"How'd you do it?" Mello demanded, not smiling.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Light replied coldly, pushing the blonde out of the way.

Mello growled something under his breath and fell into step with him, apparently not getting the message. "I want to know how the hell you got out of there."

"With a little help from beyond the grave."

"That's not fair," Mello whined. "You said it wasn't haunted."

Light shot him a dark glance from the corner of his eye. "I said I didn't know."

"It was heavily implied!" snarled Mello.

Light made no reply, except to reach into his book bag and pull out the bottle of wine he'd stolen last night.

Mello gaped. "You actually…"

"Yeah," Light replied icily, replacing it in his bag before attracting any attention.

"You're the first one who…" Mello trailed off, staring at him incredulously.

"Am I in?"

Mello only nodded.

"Good. Now… If you'll excuse me, there's someone I need to talk to."

"Who?" Mello asked suspiciously, apparently having regained his ability of speech.

Light shrugged offhandedly. "Dead person. See ya."

Mello only stared after him in amazement as he doubled back to the church.

Patricia was waiting for him in the now deserted church. "Did you tell her?" she asked immediately.

"Of course I did," Light replied with a smile. "She said that she loves you very much, and she doesn't want you to go on missing her. She wants you to find new friends - ones who can actually see you, and talk to you."

"Like you?" Patricia chirped.

"Like me."

She giggled again, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"Patricia," Light started out slowly. "I just have one question for you… You asked me to tell your mom to take care of Rodney for you. Who is Rodney?"

"Rodney's a bear, silly," she laughed. "He's not a who!"

Light froze.

_Kira…_

Then that dream was…

"Thank you, Patricia," he muttered, forcing a smile and turning to leave.

"Aren't you going to stay and talk to me?" she pouted.

"Not today, Patricia. Maybe tomorrow."

He was halfway out the door when she spoke again. "They told me about you, you know. Said that they've been preparing you for this all your life."

Light turned back to her sharply. Any smile was gone from her face, instead replaced with a worried look. "Why are you at war with who you are?"

"I'm…" Light stared at her. "Patricia, I'm not at war with anything. I'm just… I just want to be like everybody else."

"But you're not like everybody else, and you know that," she whispered. "Even here, you're special." Her voice was nearly inaudible now. "He told me that you're the best. He said that they've been speaking to you since you were born… Showing you things…"

Light wasn't aware of how his happened, but he was suddenly kneeling next to her, his hands on her shoulders. "Who? Who told you that?"

She stepped away, shaking her head. "Be careful, Light. I like you. I don't want something bad to happen…"

"Patricia!" he cried. "Patricia, who told you this? Was it Kira?! Who?"

She didn't reply, and in the next moment, she'd vanished.

-


	4. Chapter 4

"I told you guys I had a good feeling about this kid," Mello bragged. Near rolled his eyes and Matt just looked tired.

Light had the feeling that Mello had never said anything of the sort, but didn't voice this opinion. He did, however, voice another. "I hate when you put your arm around me like that."

Mello recoiled, looking offended. "Why?"

"Because it makes it look like we're _together_ or something."

"So what?" he shot.

"So knock it off."

Matt grinned, adjusting his goggles slightly. "I _love_ this kid." He turned, looking straight and Mello, and went on, "That's what's up."

Mello bristled. "I've told you to stop saying that!"

"And I've told him to stop smoking," Near pointed out blandly. "It doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere."

Light gave a small laugh, shaking his head. Mello was almost tolerable in the presence of Matt and Near… _Almost_.

"Look around, you, Light," he went on in a lazy drawl, his arm going around Light's shoulders again. "Everyone envies you. And it's only your second day here. Where would you be without me? Stuck with that freak you call a roommate?" He chuckled.

"He's not a freak," Light snapped back, prying Mello's arm away again.

Mello laughed all the harder. "Oh, that's a good one, Light! I _love_ your sense of humor."

"I'm serious. Don't call him that."

"Why the hell--" Mello began, but Light already had the answer.

"Because I owe him one. Leave it at that."

For once, Mello was silent.

Not for long, though.

"But, seriously, does he watch you sleep?"

Light shrugged. "He denies it, but…"

"Argh! Creepy! Well…" He shot Light a sideways glance. "You could always sleep in my room…"

"No, you may not!" Matt burst out. "We are not having a replay of last summer!"

Light's eye twitched slightly. He was getting a tad bit annoyed at the fact that Mello just kept hinting that he…

"What happened last summer?" he said, trying desperately to derail that train of thought. It brought up too many unwelcome images.

Mello started to reply, but Near raised his hand for silence. "Light," he said. "I know you're new, but you need to know a few rules. 1.) We don't hang out with Ryuzaki, and we certainly don't try to _defend_ him. 2.) We _don't_ talk about last summer. 3.) _No one_ touches my toys if they expect to live very long."

Matt and Mello snickered at this last one. Near looked between the two of them flatly, as though he couldn't figure out what was so funny.

"Thanks," Light muttered. He wasn't really liking this first rule. It didn't seem fair to be so cruel to Ryuzaki… after all, the kid couldn't have had a good life. How had he figured out that he could kill by touch? It wasn't some random stranger, that could be assured. Most likely a loved one…

But it was partly Ryuzaki's fault too, for being so damn antisocial. Mello probably never would have latched onto teasing him as one of his hobbies if the poor kid had just been a bit more friendly. Weird problem or no.

"Alright, alright," Mello said loudly. "Near gets to tell him the rules, I get to tell him traditions. Kay? Okay." He turned to Light, smiling ominously. "1.) We lock all perspective members in the church. It's test, or initiation, or whatever you want to call it. 2.) We sneak out every night after curfew. It's easy, for me, ya know. And, plus, it's fun. 3.) Every Monday, we take turns pranking Ryuzaki." Apparently having finished, he sat back in his chair. "And this week, we'll let it be your turn."

"No," Light snapped. "I'm not going to go along with tormenting my roommate. He might stab me in my sleep or something. I'm not that stupid."

Near blinked. "Whatever. That's Mello's tradition, anyway. No one cares if you break it."

"Hey!" Mello exploded. "I care!"

Near gestured to him, as if this proved his point.

Really, Light was going to have to find someway to spend time with those two without Mello around.

Well. He sat back with a sigh as Mello launched into a long explanation of this tradition's importance. He was getting pretty good at blocking out Mello's tirades.

And it wasn't like he didn't have enough to think about… with a dead five-year-old telling him he was _special_, with dreams about some creepy evil twin persona that were coming true, with Mello insisting on violating his personal space at every possible opportunity, and with his creepy roommate watching him sleep and most likely plotting some sort of revenge, Light decided then and therrethat he truly did have one thing to be thankful for - the fact that it couldn't get much worse.

Later that day, he was to look back on the moment he'd made that decision as one of great good fortune and wonderfully high living.

* * *

"_Light…"_

_Oh heaven and hell, that voice in his head was so real. He could picture the mouth that spoke those guttural, sly, insinuating words. In his mind's eye, the picture was vivid and monstrous, dripping blood like liquid rubies--_

"_Leave me alone! Damn you!"_

"_You're never alone, Light." The voice was now a hoarse chuckle, like autumn leaves skittering against the cobbles of a deserted street. "Not while I'm around. I've been waiting for you for so very long…"_

"Hey, wake up, we've been waiting for you."

"_Get… away from me…"_

"_Leave? Why now, when I've taken so long to find you? You and I, Light, we're one and the same…"_

"No, I'm not going to leave! Geeze, isn't it enough that I had to come find you in the first place?"

"_You'll coming running to me eventually, Light. You'll realize that you need me, just as much as I need you…"_

"C'mon, wake up! Jesus, heavy sleeper. C'mon, Light, we need you…"

_Those eyes, like splotches of dried blood, that mouth, curling into a cruel sneer… those cold hands, sliding down his shoulders…_

And slapping him soundly across the face.

"Wha--" He jerked back to wakefulness, his heart pounding, blinking rapidly as Mello's face suddenly came into view above him. "Mello? What the hell are you doing?"

"Yay, sleeping beauty's finally awake," Mello whispered, grinning. "I warned you that we sneak out every night. Don't tell me you forgot?"

"Mello…" Light shot a glance at the alarm clock on the dresser. "It's three am. I gave up on waiting for you to show up somewhere around midnight."

"I wouldn't disappoint you," Mello growled. "Way to jump to conclusions…"

"Get off of me, Mello," he sighed at last. "Too late. I'm going back to sleep."

"Come on," Mello said desperately, tightening his grip on Light through the blankets. "It'll be fun."

Oh, not this again…

"I'm tired. Sleep will be fun."

Silence, but Mello didn't move.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked suddenly.

Light shot him a glare. "What?"

"You were talking in your sleep. Shouting at someone…" He leaned closer, eyes narrowed suspiciously, as though gauging Light's reaction. "Is this a sensitive topic for you?"

Light chanced a look in Ryuzaki's direction. He highly doubted that his roommate was really asleep, and didn't want to say anything about Kira in his presence… Then again, he didn't really want to tell Mello, either. Maybe Near or someone, but never Mello.

It'd be a cold day in Hell if he ever told Mello anything.

"No. Get off."

"You'd tell me if there was something I needed to know, wouldn't you?"

"No," Light said honestly, shoving Mello back and turning away from him. "Mello, you've totally missed your window of opportunity on this one. By a couple of hours, actually."

Mello sighed loudly, snuggling closer to him again. "Please?"

"No!"

"Come on," Mello whined, pressing closer, until he was speaking directly into Light's ear. "It's not going to be any fun without our newest member."

Light raised a hand, irritably smacking Mello away. "That's not my problem."

"You're awake anyway," he reasoned. "What's the harm?"

"No. Go away."

There was a short silence, then Mello lowered his voice even further. "Okay. I have an idea…"

"Forget it," Light snarled. Already, he'd had too many narrow escapes as a result of Mello's ideas.

"But this is a great idea!" he exclaimed. "I know you'll like it…"

Before Light could reply, a new voice joined the conversation.

"There are only so many ways to refuse, you know."

Mello screamed, jumped several feet into the air, and tumbled off of Light's bed, unfortunately taking it's sleepy occupant with him. "WHAT THE--"

Light roughly shoved Mello away, disentangled himself from the now hopelessly twisted blankets, and glared at Ryuzaki. "Will you just stop listening in on my conversations?"

Ryuzaki, who had gone from pretending to be asleep, to being wide awake in his usual crouching position, simply looked up at the ceiling, running his thumb across his lips. "You talk loud."

Mello, still on the floor, seemed to have overcome his initial shock - which Light didn't particularly think was good thing, as it was now being replaced by anger. "What the _hell_ are you thinking?!" he thundered.

"Nothing you could possible comprehend," Ryuzaki said calmly, not even looking away from the ceiling. For all his casualness, there was still a somewhat bitter edge to his tone that lead Light to believe he was more annoyed than he was letting on.

Mello drew himself up to his full, impressive height. "If Matt were here…" he started, letting the threat dangle in the air.

Ah. So that was why Ryuzaki didn't seem afraid of Mello. Mello would have to touch him to inflict any damage, which would scarcely be worth it. Near and Matt, on the other hand, didn't have to touch anyone to cause some serious pain.

Lucky.

"The fact remains, Matt is not here," Ryuzaki said coolly. "And you are." His eyes narrowed dangerously. "As an uninvited guest in my room."

Mello glared. "Yeah. What're you going to do about it?"

"I'm not going to do anything," Ryuzaki snapped. "I'm simply asking you not to repeat this performance."

"Duly noted," Mello snarled. "C'mon, Light, let's go."

"I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that either," Ryuzaki sighed, tugging on a pair of gloves again. "My roommate apparently does not want to go anywhere with you. It would be unfair of you to force him."

Mello gaped at him, shocked. More likely than not, he'd never heard Ryuzaki say so much at one time.

Light cleared his throat. Ergh. Caught between the most annoying people he'd ever met… and at the moment, Mello seemed to be the lesser of the two evils. "Ryuzaki, it's none of your business. Let's go, Mello."

Mello looked pleasantly surprised at this sudden change, but didn't question it.

"I can't allow that either," Ryuzaki said sharply. "That would be breaking the rules two nights in a row. You really don't want to get off to such a start, do you Light-kun?"

"Again, it's _none of your business_ what I do and do not do," Light snarled. Who the _hell_ did this guy think he was? No one ordered Light Yagami around. _No one_.

Well, Mello sorta did, but that was whole other can of worms.

Ryuzaki shook his head, unfolding himself from his chair and stepped towards them. "It would be my civic duty to report your transgressions to the nearest authority figure."

"If you say anything I'll…"

"You'll what? Hit me?" A weird little laugh trickled from his lips. Light recoiled slightly. Ryuzaki could be quite intimidating when he tried…

Mello glared at him, then put a hand on Light's shoulder.

And suddenly, they were outside.

And they weren't alone.

"What the--"

Ryuzaki was standing next to them, smiling innocently.

Matt and Near eyed the three new arrivals unhappily.

"What's he doing here?" Near asked quietly, gesturing towards Ryuzaki.

Mello glared. "I don't know. What are you doing here, Ryuzaki? I was _specifically_ not expecting you."

Light rolled his eyes. "Quit being stubborn. Go back to your room."

"Most certainly, Light-kun," he said flatly. "But I did warn you what would happen…"

He started to walk off.

"Wait," Mello said suddenly. He turned to Near. "He's wearing gloves. Would you get them for me, please?"

Oh no. Something bad was going to happen, Light knew. Mello _never_ said please. Ever.

Without protest, Near simply blinked, and Ryuzaki's thin leather gloves were suddenly sent spinning towards Mello, who caught them deftly and put them on, smiling.

Ryuzaki was looking nervous, but he didn't bother arguing. Instead, he turned away again, walking off at a slightly quickened pace.

Light glared. Oh, he was going to be in huge trouble now. When Ryuzaki had talked about reporting his activities, it hadn't sounded like an empty threat.

"Ryuzaki!"

At the sound of Mello calling his name, he instinctively turned towards the noise--

The punch made contact with his cheek, snapping his head to the side and brushing passed his nose with enough force to break the delicate cartilage.

"That's for threatening me," Mello snarled, as the dark haired teen stumbled back in shock, a hand coming up to see how bad the breakage was and somehow staunch the flow of blood. Still confused by the sudden attack, Ryuzaki couldn't block the kick that sent him stumbling five steps back.

"And that's because you fucking _deserve_ it, you freak." The amount of venom in his words was shocking, and even as he spoke, he threw another punch.

"Mello! Stop!" Light took a reflexive step forward, but Near put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"No," the white-haired boy said blandly. "He brought this on himself, you realize. Mello's usually not so violent, so it's really your roommate's fault for interfering." He shrugged. "If you're feeling guilty, it'll pass, trust me."

And, suddenly, Near's constant, emotionless mask made sense. Better to just block out those feelings than to be consumed by them. Light found himself vaguely wondering how many times Near had been forced to bear witness to Mello taking out his violent temper on someone else…

And Ryuzaki wasn't going to defend himself. Regardless of how bad the circumstances were, he wasn't going to risk killing Mello.

This was…

How many people had Ryuzaki killed accidentally, simply because he'd touched them? Enough that even now, even against an enemy, he was stubbornly refusing to raise a hand to defend himself.

He opened his mouth to speak, but a fierce blow to the ribs silenced whatever he was about to say. He was gasping for breath, not even regaining it before a fierce backhand sent him tumbling to the ground.

Another blow hit. Another.

Light felt sick.

If this was the sort of thing he was going to see, if this was the price he had to pay to be _popular_ here, then it was scarcely worth it.

No, it wasn't worth it at all.

He couldn't just sit back and watch this happen.

His mind made up, he pulled out of Nears slackened grip, and was suddenly running forward - the next second, his hand settled on the Mello's shoulder and forcing him to turn away from Ryuzaki.

"What?" Mello snapped, confused and irritated.

Without bothering to come up with a reply, Light simply punched him squarely in the face.

For a brief moment, his eyes registered a look of stupefied shock before they glazed over, and he tumbled to the ground in a senseless heap.

About five seconds of stunned silence passed before…

"Awe, dude," Matt laughed. "_That's_ what's up."

"You really shouldn't have done that," Near commented blandly.

Light didn't reply. He turned to Ryuzaki, who was slowly regaining his feet in the background. "You okay?" he asked, slightly breathless.

Ryuzaki shrugged, wincing slightly. "I've been through worse."

"Hey, Light. I guess this means you're outta the group now, huh?" Matt chuckled.

"I guess," Light muttered, stalking off. "C'mon, Ryuzaki."

Neither of them spoke again until they had safely gotten back to their room without being caught.

"Don't feel too bad," Ryuzaki muttered as Light collapsed on his bed with a tired sigh. "Mello has all the affection of a cat - all cute and cuddly if he wants something, but the minute he gets it, he wants nothing more to do with you. I found that out the hard way."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Light-kun? I suppose I should thank you for that."

Light didn't reply, preferring to stare up at the ceiling. Was Ryuzaki trying to say that he was forgiven?

"You don't have to thank me for anything."

There was no denying, however, that some experiences, when shared, tend render people as friends, regardless of whether they want to be at all. Standing up to Mello turned out to be one of those experiences.

-


	5. Chapter 5

"Wake up, Mello. Hey, rise and shine, buddy. How you feeling?"

Mello blinked his eyes open slowly to find the familiar faces of Matt and Near swimming over him.

"Oh god… Where am I?"

"In our room."

"What…" He shook his head, trying to clear the slightly hazy feeling pervading over his thoughts. "Where's Ryuzaki? Light?"

"Oh, they're fine," Matt said dismissively, before glancing at his friend and biting his lip, as though worried. "Everybody… _else_… is fine."

"What's wrong with me?"

"I swear to you, Mello, they've done everything humanly possible," Near said flatly, his face composed in an expressionless mask. "The best plastic surgeons in the world are here, Mello. You had the best."

Oh… _no_.

Near picked up a hand mirror on the bed table before Mellocould reach it, reluctant to give it to him.

"Give me that mirror," Mello snarled.

Near shook his head. "I don't think if that's a good idea," he sighed. "They said the shock alone…"

"I said _give me the mirror_!"

"Okay…" Matt pulled the mirror away from Near, slowly handing it to Mello. "Just… be strong, man."

Mello snatched it from him, slowly raising the silver-framed glass…

Other than a slight bruise forming on his cheek, everything seemed to be normal.

"Unfortunately, the doctors just _couldn't_ do anything to fix your face," Matt chuckled.

"Pity," Near said coolly.

Matt smirked, hold up his hand to the white-haired boy for a high-five. "_That's_ what's up."

"That is," Near agreed blandly, keeping his hands in his pockets and smiling slightly at Mello. "Look. We pulled a prank on you. That was quite a liberating experience."

Matt grinned. "Translation: Gotcha!"

"I'm going to kill you!" Mello exploded, bounding to his feet. Matt dodged out of the room, laughing, but Near stayed exactly where he was, perhaps too used to Mello's outbursts to be frightened.

"By the way," he said quietly. "Light says he's out of the group."

Mello growled a vivid curse under his breath. "Wow, do you _think_?"

"I'm just telling you," Near went on flatly, "because the way he said it was sort of like when you tell someone "You can't fire me; I quit"… I just thought you should know. In case there's ever any dispute about who left, who was told to leave…" He shrugged.

"If there's ever any dispute," Mello snarled fiercely, "I think you and I both agree that it's to my credit that he's gone. So I did, essentially, _win_! He left because of _me_!"

"I really don't anticipate that there's going to be any dispute about that," Near said flatly, and was out the door before Mello had fully realized the meaning of his words.

"Hey!"

* * *

Days blended into weeks for Light. Mello, while he occasionally shot nasty looks at his former friend, generally kept a fair distance away. Apparently it was easier to pick on one person at a time, and since Light and Ryuzaki scarcely went anywhere when not in each other's company, this proved difficult. Matt occasionally shot them a wink when Mello wasn't looking, and Near was… well, just Near.

Light couldn't really bring himself to feel much regret about their 'falling out'. Though Ryuzaki wasn't exactly the best of friends, mainly because he didn't know how to be, he was at least better than Mello. Oh, much better. While with Mello, conversation usually revolved Mello, chocolate, and Mello, but Ryuzaki seemed to be interested in a much wider range of subjects, Mello not being one of them. They spent hours discussing the finer points of their classes, books, and politics. Conversation with Ryuzaki was awkward at first, but he seemed to catch on quickly - while sometimes there would be uncomfortable silences, Light was a good enough conversationalist that he could compensate for his roommate's ineptness, and usually kept things flowing smoothly.

The only things they never discussed where their 'gifts'. Light was glad of this, and he had a feeling that Ryuzaki was as well. It was a sensitive topic for both of them, and Light wasn't keen to learn the details of how Ryuzaki had found out about his unfortunate problem anytime in the near future.

Occasionally, the mismatched pair received some odd glances from onlookers, but this was mostly due to the fact that people seemed startled to see Ryuzaki talking to anyone. Or, perhaps it was the fact that they appeared to have absolutely nothing in common - Light, handsome and well groomed as ever, while Ryuzaki was… well, a mess. The more time Light spent with him the more annoying habits he noticed. For one, Ryuzaki almost always addressed people in the third person, even when speaking to them. He had a way of holding items very delicately, and seemed to have adopted the "I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter" attitude. Thankfully, intellect seemed to be the one area that Light and his roommate were equally matched.

Which meant that their classes were incredibly boring to both of them. Light had learned all most all of this the previous year in his school, and the rest only took a minute or two to understand. Ryuzaki, for whatever reason, seemed to know anything about almost any subject - probably because he had way too much time on his hands.

All in all, things were finally going in a good direction for Light. Even the dreams about Kira had stopped entirely, leading him to believe that they'd just been a series of creepy coincidences. The only thing left to do was to tell Emily about her daughter's message. After all, it wasn't as though she needed to know the circumstances of their meeting any more.

This, Light thought as he tossed and turned between his warm, now familiar blankets, was the last thing he needed to do to make peace with his conscience.

"Good night, Ryuzaki."

"Goodnight, Light-kun." And then, general fidgetiness and loud chewing. Well, that was annoying, but Light was getting used to these nighttime sounds.

He closed his eyes tightly. If he really focused, he could tell the difference between different types of food that Ryuzaki was eating… That was a marshmallow… tea with lots of sugar… cherry cheesecake… Hell, no wonder the guy was an insomniac. Enough caffeine in the food he ate to last a lifetime.

Light, however, didn't have that problem.

_The waning crescent moon, whose faint glow scarcely the darkness, hung slack and pale in the hazy sky. A mocking owl hooted from above, swooped, and jubilantly seized some small rodent in it's fierce claws. The victim squeaked, crumpled, and died._

_Footsteps, chuffing into the snow-coated ground with quiet weight._

"_Hello, Light."_

_Not again._

_But there something different in this dream. This time, it was more… controllable._

"_Who are you?" Light asked sharply._

_Kira smiled thinly. "Your friend, if you will allow me to be." __How very different he seemed now, congenial and kind, when he had been so cold earlier._

_Light wasn't fooled. The guy had murdered a kid, for God's sake! "No. I could never be _friends_ with you."_

_He gave hoarse chuckle. "Oh, but you can. And you will. You need me, Light. You may not see it yet, but you will. And I need you too." He stepped closer, and Light took an according step backward. "You and I, Light, we're one and the same. You're one of mine."_

"_What the hell are you talking about?"_

_Kira shook his head slowly, offering a warm smile. "You never wondered why you have this gift? It's the same as mine, Light."_

"_What?"_

"_We both hold a certain amount of power over death. You, able to see the dead. I, able to kill. With only a name and a face." He stepped forward again, and Light was too captivated by what he was saying to move away. "Surely, you must have why everyone seems so frightened of your gift? Of Ryuzaki's? Because such power of death… People have come to associate it with me. I was the first."_

"_Don't talk about Ryuzaki. Leave him out of this. He has nothing to do with you," Light growled fiercely._

_His smile faded slightly. "How strong you seem," he murmured, his gaze lingering on Light's face. "How brave… Yet also, how fair you are, delicate as a flower."_

_Light did not reply, but neither did he move away as Kira slowly raised a hand and brushed his fingertips across his cheek._

"_You have questions."_

"_Y-yes," Light breathed._

"_In good time," Kira answered quietly. He said no more, as if those words alone were explanation enough. And, with a sad smile, he turned away._

The dream faded, and Light slowly blinked as the veils billowing softly about the window next to his bed came into focus.

This was getting out of hand.

Maybe the reason these dreams were plaguing him was that he hadn't told Ms. Crawford her daughter's message? Yeah. That was it. Nightmares were merely byproducts of an unsettled conscience.

He'd just have to tell her first thing in the morning.

In the meantime, he was just going to have to stay awake. Not a chance was he going to give these dream apparitions another opportunity to torment him.

And it wasn't as though he didn't have the necessary materials for staying awake… Ryuzaki usually left sweets of some sort or another lying around. Tonight's main feature had been cookies. And to think, Light had thought that his roommate's weird habits would never be remotely useful.

Careful to be as quiet as possible, he slowly approached his sleeping roommate - Ryuzaki usually just pretended to be asleep, so it might be a mute point…

"Light-kun?" came a sleepy yawn.

Oh.

"Shh. Go back to sleep. This is a dream. I'm not really here."

"Light-kun, what are you doing with my cookies?"

"…Nothing." Light quickly set down the plate he'd been about to make off with.

Ryuzaki sighed hugely, sitting up and striking his usual crouching pose. "If one you want one, you only have to ask." He blinked, edging away so that he was sitting with his back to a corner. "What're you doing awake, anyway?"

Light shrugged. "Bad dream."

"Hmm."

Awkward pause. Light wasn't yet awake enough to try to strike up a conversation again. Rather, he took a bite of one of the cookies - and nearly gagged. "Ryuzaki, what _is_ this? It's like a block of sugar."

"Double-chocolate sugar cookies." He snatched the plate away, holding it to himself almost protectively. "I made them."

"You can have them," Light muttered, sitting down on his roommate's bed. "Why are you always eating so much sugar, anyway?"

"It like it."

"That doesn't mean that you can't still maintain a wide and diverse diet," Light growled. "Would it kill you to eat an apple from time to time?"

Ryuzaki stared at him, as if this was the most absurd question he'd ever heard. "No, Light-kun, that would not kill me."

"It's just a figure of speech…"

Silence.

"Would Light-kun care to discuss his dreams?"

Light hesitated. Truthfully, he would like nothing more than to tell Ryuzaki about these repetitive nightmares, to have someone assure him that there was no monster hiding under his bed, but that would also mean discussing Patricia - which would mean revealing his broken promise. And Light didn't want to discuss that… Especially since it scarcely mattered now that he'd made up his mind to tell Emily in the morning.

"No," he sighed at long last.

"Are you certain? I'm quite good at dream interpretation. I could offer you my objective opinion."

"I'm sure."

"As you wish, Light-kun. In that case, why don't you go back to sleep?" He glanced up at the ceiling again, chewing his thumbnail thoughtfully.

"If I sleep, I'll dream," Light reasoned.

"Ah. Good point. Though there is no conclusive evidence that you will have the same sort of dream…" Apparently giving up some sort of internal battle, he picked up one of the cookies and began eating it with precise, cheerful bits.

Light blinked, watching this display with mild interest. "I don't feel like risking it. I can say awake another couple of hours."

"Would you like to have a philosophical discussion?" Ryuzaki blurted out suddenly. "That might help you stay awake."

"What would we discuss?"

"I was thinking, earlier, about something I wished to discuss with you. I do value your opinion, Light-kun." He glanced up, as though waiting for approval, and when Light nodded slightly, he went on, "I was thinking about how the world is a mess. Of course, it is humans who make it so, with their wars, their weapons, their machines and their pollution. And then… there's the pettier crimes of humanity. Murder, theft, kidnap. It's an endless cycle of self-inflicted pain and it is not going to change. It has always existed – these things have _always_ existed – and they always will. Even in this modern age, a man will still cut another's throat for his loose change."

Light shrugged. "That's human nature."

"No," Ryuzaki snapped. "It doesn't haveto be that way. I can't give up hoping to somehow, there might be a time with people just _stop _all of this pettiness. If it's human nature, I would have to give up that hope - and I simply don't want to do that."

"Hope is a fragile emotion," Light muttered. "Never achieves anything."

"Hope is the only reason that I haven't slit my throat yet."

"That's really morbid."

"But it's true."

"Truthfully, this conversation might make me fall asleep," Light laughed.

"Hmm."

Silence again.

"If it's not human nature," Light mused, "then why? Why do people do all those things?"

Ryuzaki shot him a sidelong glance. "Perhaps… some people are just bad. Whether they're bred by this society or not, some people are just downright wicked, and there's nothing that you, or I, or the government can do to change that matter."

"Then… you're contradicting yourself. It that's the case, then there's no hope that they might change, and things will keep going just as they always have."

"Hmm." Ryuzaki was silent for a moment. "You have a point. But… if those people were…"

"Eliminated," Light finished for him. "And they only way to do that would be to kill off all of those bad people - and, in doing, become a murderer, the very thing you that you so despise."

Ryuzaki nodded. "I've thought of that. Not that I would ever suggest a global genocide, but…"

They lapsed into silence yet again, each lost in his own thoughts.

"You know, maybe I will try to get back to sleep," Light said at long last. This wasn't exactly the most engaging conversation he'd ever had, and there really wasn't much of a chance he'd have the same sort of dream twice in a row.

"Goodnight, then," Ryuzaki replied, no questions asked.

For which Light was very grateful.

Surprisingly, it didn't talk long to fall asleep again. And, true to his prediction, he did not dream about Kira. He did, however, dream.

_Pale skin._

_Gentle hands._

_Dark eyes._

_Longing. Love._

_Want. Need._

_Smooth lips pressing kisses all over his body._

_That long hair, teasingly soft in his hands._

_Those lips, kissing him breathlessly. Those lips, claiming him._

_A husky voice, calling his name._

"_Light…"_

The brown-haired teen woke with a start, sitting up in his bed. The rich covers slid down his chest, pooling in his lap as he tried to regain his breath after the intense dream.

Why…

He turned to look suspiciously at his sleeping roommate - maybe he wasn't really sleeping, it was difficult to tell.

Why the hell was he having dreams about_ Ryuzaki _now?

_Hmm. Must've put something in those cookies,_ he concluded darkly, before drifting back to sleep, this time thankfully too exhausted to dream.

-


	6. Chapter 6

_"When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion." --Abraham Lincoln_

* * *

It was in the middle of French class when Matt finally could take it no longer. "Okay, what's wrong?"

Mello sighed, slowly stopped what he was doing, and, at long last, looked up. "Nothing's wrong. Why do you ask?"

"Because you've been flicking pencil shavings on the floor for half an hour," Near pointed out, turning to look at him slowly.

"So what?"

"So it seems like something's wrong."

"Nope."

"You're not plotting revenge on Light, are you?"

He never got a chance to answer, because at that moment, they were joined by a fourth person…

Teru Mikami.

"Hello, Mello," he said politely. "You've never worn that shirt on a _Tuesday_ before…"

Matt and Near exchanged glances - it was fairly apparent that Teru was doing his best not to come off as stalkish, but he was miserably failing. Mello just looked ready to murder the innocent nerd.

"Did I overhear you saying that you wanted to have revenge on someone?"

"No, Mikami. I do not want to have revenge on Light," Mello snarled. "And I've told you to stay at least twenty feet away from me."

"Ah, Light Yagami, enemy of the common man. I can help you get back at him, if you like."

Mello, already in a foul mood, took this as an opportunity to lash out at someone - anyone. "Oh, and what would you do? Curse him in Klingon?"

Teru glared. "It's the fastest growing language on the planet!"

Mello blinked, then leaned back slightly, turning his head to the side in confusion. "Would you, though? It's almost worth doing just so I can tell the story."

"No," Teru said darkly, taking a deep breath and massaging his temples. "There are other ways to get back at someone besides cursing them, even better than your immature pranks. I swear, if I resorted to your tactics, I'd be the laughingstock of my clan."

"My methods work perfectly fine, thank you very--Wait, _clan_?!"

Teru blinked at him innocently. "What?"

It was at this point that Near intervened. "Goodbye, Mikami. See you tomorrow."

"But…"

"Now."

And, seeming to take the hint, Teru walked off, growling under his breath. "Oh yes, I will see you tomorrow. And I swear to you, by the rings of SeptonFive, you will pay, my friend. You. Will. _Pay_."

"What a freak," Mello sighed. "Wonder why he doesn't like Light, though…"

Matt smirked. "I noticed that you latched onto that tidbit of info…"

Mello rounded on him, eyes flashing, his face suddenly dark and furious. "So what?"

"I do believe that you have a case of puppy love, Mello," he snickered.

"Shut up! You don't even know what that term freaking _means_!"

Near began flipping through the pages of the dictionary in his desk. "Puppy love: noun. Adolescent love: the love or infatuation felt by adolescents." He blinked, and looked up. "You are adolescent, and you're infatuated with him. Seems as though it fits to me."

"I am NOT infatuated," Mello seethed, slamming the dictionary shut, giving Near barely enough time to pull his hand out of the way.

"Infatuation," Matt read from his own dictionary. "An intense and irrational passion for somebody or something. Hmm, sounds like you are to me, Mello."

"Would you quit with the dictionaries?!" Mello snarled. "I know, okay?!"

"You know…" Near began, looking absently off into space, "I've heard that if something is bothering you, it helps to talk about it."

"He talks enough already," Matt muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Of course, I don't mean talk to us," Near added immediately. Matt snickered. "I mean… seek help."

Mello drew in a sharp breath, drawing himself up to his full height. "I do not need _help_, Near!"

"I didn't mean that," Near said flatly. "I mean talk to someone… Maybe talk to God." He looked at the ceiling, as if to indicate some powerful force was hovering up there.

Matt and Mello followed his gaze.

"I'm not the most religious of people, you know," Mello sneered. "I don't see how--"

"It was just a suggestion," Near said with a shrug.

"Hmm. A bad one," Mello growled, which caused both Near and Matt to stare at him - well, Matt was sort of looking in all directions at once. Mello never protested so much about something, unless…

"You're really considering it, aren't you?" Matt snickered. There was no reply, and he went on, "Awe, dude, that's what's up. Near, look, you made Mello religious!"

"Shut up!" Mello exploded. "I am not!"

"You're probably afraid," Near said blandly. "If you break your typical atheist pattern and begin believing in life after death, that might sort of mean that you'd be confined to burn in a pit of fire for all eternity. Considering all the bad things you've done so far…"

It was the final nail in the coffin. "I'm NOT afraid! And I haven't done anything that bad anyway."

"There was that one summer when you tried to have all French people exterminated," Matt reminded him.

"And the summer before that, when you kidnapped Teru and forced him to blackmail his own parents…"

"And then…" Matt and Near looked at one another, and spoke in unison. "_Last summer…_"

"Stop!" Mello cried, waving his hands frantically. "I know, okay? It doesn't mean that I'd be… burning in _Hell_…"

"Yeah, it does," Matt argued calmly. "You're going to Hell."

Mello cringed.

"Ooh, look, Near. He doesn't like that word." He leaned across the table, until his face was inches from Mello's. "Hell."

"Knock it off," Mello snarled, waving a hand irritably, as if to ward him off.

"Oh, goody," Near said slowly. "Let me try - Hell."

Mello looked up at the ceiling, as if to show his disinterest with the situation. "Know when to stop, guys."

"Hell!"

"Hell."

Mello clapped his hands over his ears and glared vehemently at them. "Not listening."

"HELL!"

"Matt! Near!" barked Mr. Velasquez from the front of the room. "Detention."

Mello gave laugh - or, perhaps, it could better be described as a cackle. "Well, have fun cleaning chalkboards, boys." He swung his book bag over his shoulder, just as the bell rang. "If you happen to get out early, you know where to find me."

"Yes," Matt growled as Mello fairly bounced away, heading toward the outside doors. "On your fiery throne, presiding over the damned…"

And this made Near laugh.

* * *

He had to skip calculus.

One detention would be worth getting this weight off his conscience.

Ms. Crawford typically functioned as the art teacher, but this was her planning period, so Light had chosen it as the opportune time to pay her a visit.

Taking a deep breath, he straightened his clothes slightly before raising a hand to knock on the heavy oak door.

A moment later, Ms. Crawford answered. "Light! Shouldn't you be in class?"

"It's important," he muttered. "Look… Emily…" He wasn't sure how to begin this, so, after a moment, he blurted out the first thing he thought of. "It's about Patricia."

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

"It's… erm… well… you see… she sort of… talked to me…"

Ms. Crawford simply looked confused.

"Since… I can see dead people, you know…" Ooh, this was not easy. Not at all… "And… she asked me to give you a message…"

"Light." Ms. Crawford held up a hand, looking amused. "Who is Patricia?"

"She's your…" Light began, then trailed off. Something wasn't adding up here. "You don't know?" he asked slowly.

She shook her head, frowning slightly. "I don't think I've ever heard that name before, actually."

"That's…" _Really, really weird._ "Never mind then," he said, trying and most likely failing to sound unconcerned. "Must've been someone else."

After all, it was a common enough last name.

…But that was an awfully big coincidence…

"You do realize I'm going to have to give you detention for skipping class?" she chided casually.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I figured."

Ms. Crawford smiled, and then suddenly drew in a sharp breath. "Oh, before I forget…"

After a moment of rummaging around in her room, she returned with a small envelope. "For you."

A message for a message…

_Dear Light--_

Oh geeze. This was going to be some sort of lengthy letter of encouragement from the concerned parents at home. Skimming over just few lines confirmed that suspicion.

_How do you like your new school…?_

_We're hoping that you'll be doing better by Thanksgiving…_

_Things here are fine, taught the cat a new trick…_

_Sayu sends her love…_

Light crumpled the letter, glaring. If it weren't for the fact that he now knew that he wasn't crazy, he might have treasured such a memento from home. As it was…

"I don't want to go home," he sighed. "Ever."

"Don't say that," she sighed. "It's not their fault that your parents don't understand… Though, for what it's worth, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"Thank you," Light sighed, beginning to turn away. "And I suppose there's some sort of rule against me telling them?"

"No rule. That's up to your own discretion." She eyed him levelly, smiling slightly. "You're not going to tell them, are you?"

"Not a chance."

* * *

"Look, Near," Matt chuckled. "I made a poem."

Mr. Velasquez was out of the room for a moment, and rather than writing lines, Matt seemed to be taking a much needed break.

Near glanced at him, and then went back to writing. "I do not think that poetry is an appropriate way to occupy your time at the moment."

"Awe, c'mon," Matt sighed, holding up his paper and brandishing it proudly. "Here, I'll read it to you." He cleared his throat, and began, "I have buddy, my buddy's a toad. He's kind of muddy, he's flat on the road. But he's my buddy, my buddy to stay, 'til he's peeled up and sailed away."

Near had frozen, his pencil pressed firmly to his own paper, eyes wide.

"Well?" Matt prompted.

"Matt…" he began, then shook his head and resumed writing, at a furious pace.

"C'mon! Tell me what you thought of it."

Near put down his pencil slowly, and turned to look at him. "Let's put it this way: I'll _never_ forget it."

Matt grinned and held up his hand for a high-five. "That's what's up."

"Quit saying that!"

* * *

It wasn't difficult to spot Ryuzaki - after all, it wasn't as though he made any effort to blend into the crowd, rather preferring to sit alone, obviously lost in his own thoughts. Even if what Ryuzaki usually thought about probably didn't matter to anyone else, he usually seemed to be focusing on it rather intensely.

Hair disheveled, lost look on his face, slouched over almost painfully… This was by no means same person Light had dreamed about the previous night. He cleared his throat awkwardly, silently berating himself for even considering that…

Well, at least not all dreams were prophetic. Thank goodness… most likely the byproduct of Ryuzaki's double chocolate sugar cookies…

"You skipped calculus," Ryuzaki pointed out as Light sat down across the table from him.

"I had to go talk to Ms. Crawford."

"Oh." He gave a huge sigh and looked down at the plate of food he was sculpting rather than eating. "Test tomorrow."

Light didn't reply, except to shrug offhandedly. As if he even needed to study for it…

Ryuzaki was now writing a series of numbers in his mashed potatoes - Light glimpsed something that looked suspiciously like an equation for percentages before it was erased. "Is something bothering you, Light-kun?"

_Other than the fact that I think either a dead five year old, or a teacher lied to me? Why, no, of course not!_

For a moment, he half-considered just telling him everything… but he didn't, unwilling to answer the numerous questions Ryuzaki would doubtless have.

"Nothing, really. I'm just a little tired."

Ryuzaki looked up at the ceiling absently, chewing his thumbnail again. "Maybe you should try to get to sleep a little earlier today."

"You shouldn't wear that outfit in public," Light shot.

"What? Oh. I see. Is this the portion of the day when we tell each other things we really don't want to hear?"

Light shook his head, smiling slightly. "Nope. This is the portion of the day when we give each other pointless advice."

He'd never forget that glare for as long as he lived.

"I don't see why my appearance matters all that much," Ryuzaki sniffed at last. "I would hope that humanity is not so corrupt that it cannot see beyond appearances."

"I was kidding."

He returned to gazing at the ceiling. "The message is the same. Then again, I suppose it's only natural, coming from you, when you obviously treasure your appearance above all else."

"I do _not_!"

"Hmm. Perhaps I'm jumping to conclusions. I assumed that, whereas I do not value my appearance, and I have frequently been called ugly, then it makes sense for the opposite to be true - someone who values their appearance would be extremely beautiful."

"You're not ugly," Light snapped, before taking in the full meaning of Ryuzaki's words. "Wait--did you just call me _beautiful_?"

Ryuzaki paused for a moment, looking at him, laughed softly, then resumed chewing at his thumbnail and staring at the ceiling. "My apologizes, Light-kun. I did not mean to insult your masculinity."

"Hmph." Light turned away, scowling off into space.

"And you needn't try to make me feel better about my appearance," Ryuzaki went on dully. "I know full well that I am not the most attractive of individuals." Light began to argue, but Ryuzaki held up a hand for silence. "I would much rather like to hear what you think of my _personality_. Please note that you retain the right to not answer that question if it makes you uncomfortable."

Light paused for a moment, eying him critically. Was that a serious question…? Since when did Ryuzaki _care_? "I think… you're the smartest person I know," he said at last. "And… when I look at you, I see someone who doesn't trust himself, so he's decided that he shouldn't trust other people, either. A seventeen-year-old who's seen much more death than anyone should in a lifetime. And, at the same time…" he glanced away, fidgeting with the sleeve of his jacket, "my best friend."

There was a long silence.

"Thank you, Light-kun."

He finally looked back at Ryuzaki, who appeared to be suppressing a smile. "And what do you see when you look at me, Ryuzaki?"

There was a long silence, then the tiny smile he'd been holding back slowly made its appearance. "I see a kid who really needs to study for his calculus exam."

* * *

Oh, how he hated churches.

Gargoyles, alters, weird colored glass windows… Mello personally thought it looked like some Goth kid's favorite dream.

"So…" he began slowly, glancing about to make sure that he was indeed alone, "the deal is pretty much this… there's this guy… new here, sorta… Well, we used to be friends, until I did something or another to offend him, and now we haven't spoken in…" He consulted his watch with a heavy sigh. "Three weeks, two days, twelve hours, forty-nine minutes, and five seconds." Taking a deep breath, he went on, "And that wouldn't be so much of a problem, except for the fact that…" The next words were whispered, even as Mello blushed violently and buried his face in his hands, "I can't stop thinking about him."

There was no answering voice, no parting of the clouds, no sense of some greater power.

But there was the sound of footsteps.

Mello glanced up, startled to find a small girl sitting next to him, her face obscured by a mop of blonde curls.

"Who're you?" Mello snapped. He'd never had much patience for kids.

She turned to him, and he recoiled slightly. A long, knotted scar trailed from side of her face to the other, and her eyes seemed to hold a gaze much too old for a five year old.

"A friend, if you will allow me to be."

-


	7. Chapter 7

-

-

Matt recalled a time, when he was young, when his mother had constantly warned him against falling in with bad company. Then, one day, when Matt had burned down the storage shed on their lawn, it occurred to her that her son probably _was_ bad company, and from then on, she spent a good portion of her time warning other children against falling in with him.

Personally, Matt had always preferred bad company to good company. Bad company was much more interesting. And thus, the strange magnetism between himself, Mello, and Near made itself known. Matt was right at home with the two of them, as they both possessed wild enthusiasms, which, when they clashed and blended together, inevitably led to catastrophe.

While Matt didn't care much for catastrophe, getting there could be quite a lot of fun.

And when his two greatest friends both began acting quite out of character at the same time, safe to say, Matt was lost.

Mello, for once, stopped blurting out the first thing that came to mind - in fact, he rarely blurted out anything any longer. He looked tired and sad, and sometimes angry, but his emotions didn't fly across his face as rapidly as the weather changed any longer, and he rarely laughed. This complete turnabout would have been startling enough on it's own, but Near was somehow different as well.

Near seemed to be quickly taking over Mello's place as the groups leader, and while he was by no means prone to the same sort of outbursts, he was becoming quite… Chatty.

And he smiled a lot.

And seemed to have lost his sense of personal space where Matt was concerned.

Matt thought it was weird.

While Matt still largely considered himself to be bad company, and while Near and Mello both seemed just as catastrophe-prone as ever, things were different. Horribly, unjustly _different_.

And the catastrophe's were becoming more tragic than amusing. Even the road to them wasn't so much fun any longer.

He didn't want to fall _out_ of bad company. That would be...

Unbearable.

* * *

Time passed.

The green of late summer turned to vivid browns, oranges, and golds, and leaves filled the air with each gust of wind. The days became cooler, the nights colder, and finally one morning, the inhabitants of Wythan Academy awoke to a layer of frost on the windowpanes.

And, for some reason, their biology teacher insisted on sending them outside while the read through the newest chapter in their textbooks.

Ryuzaki, of course, succeeded in somehow finding the most secluded, desolate corner possible to occupy, and Light had no choice but to sit with him. The upside was that they were out of the biting wind, and out of sight. The downside was that it was still horribly cold, there was trash thrown about here and there, and the local insect life seemed to have also located this secluded alcove.

Light sat huddled close to his new friend, trying to preserve heat, even though Ryuzaki leaned away from him subconsciously, most likely unable or unwilling to be so physically close to another person.

"The cell cycle," Light began to read, "or cell-division cycle, is the series of events that take place in a eukaryotic cell, leading to it's…" The wind shifted, bringing with it the crisp smell of dying leaves, something burning, and… something else…

A rich, soft, and sweet smell - the scent coming from Ryuzaki's hair.

_Desire. Love._

_Tentative kiss._

_A warm body pressed close to him…_

"_Light-kun…"_

"…replication," Light finished dully. He recoiled slightly, flinching inwardly at the unwanted memory of that particular dream. Immediately, he shifted from where he was sitting, until he was across from Ryuzaki - there was no comment about the sudden change, though both involved parties looked immensely relieved.

After barely a minute of reading about cell division, Ryuzaki sighed, rolled his eyes, and shut his textbook.

"I'm bored," he said amiably. "Let's just talk, shall we?

"You keep contradicting yourself - one minute, you're telling me that I need to study, the next you're saying that I already know the material," Light said, amused.

Ryuzaki stared at him. "Do you _want_ to study?"

"No."

"Then I don't see what you're complaining about."

Light could only roll his eyes at this. "That wasn't entirely the point," he muttered. "Alright, then." He snapped his book shut as well, and sat back with a shrug. "What'd you want to talk about?"

"Actually… I have a strange desire to talk about nothing," Ryuzaki said thoughtfully. "I overheard a rather interesting conversation between two students last evening, and when a third party asked what they were discussing, the response was 'Nothing'."

Light blinked. "You said you overheard the conversation? What was it really about?"

"One student's passionate dislike for a teacher. That, however, is not relevant. I'm intrigued by this concept of 'nothing'. What is the definition of it? Is it even possible?" His eyes widened, making him appear almost frightened, and he went on in a lower voice, "Is it possible for a person to be nothing?"

"No," Light snapped instantly. He could see what Ryuzaki was getting at, and he wasn't liking it. "A person _cannot_ be nothing."

"That really depends on who you ask," Ryuzaki muttered. "In order to say whether a person can or cannot be nothing, I would say that we first have to define 'nothing' ."

"Nothing is… a state of non-existence. So a person cannot be nothing, because that person still technically exists," Light reasoned.

"In one context, that could be quite true. However… Define 'nothing' in the context that our two students used it."

This took a bit longer, and when the answer was eventually reached, it wasn't one that Light wished to share. "They meant… Nothing… as in… something of unimportance." He flinched - that was easily up for misinterpretation.

Ryuzaki nodded. "Then, an unimportant person could be described as nothing."

"There's no such thing as an unimportant person," Light retorted sharply.

"Really? That sounds like something a mother might say to console her child… In other words, it's idealistic."

"You yourself said how important _hope_ is."

"I know. That doesn't mean that I'm blinded by it," Ryuzaki sighed, pulling a bag of mini-marshmallows from his backpack. "The fact remains, there are unimportant people. In the greater scheme of things, those people could be seen as nothing."

Light took the liberty of opening the bag of marshmallows for him, as he seemed to be having trouble with it. Ryuzaki nodded his thanks.

"I don't think there's such a thing as an unimportant person - every person influences someone else's life at some point or another, and that person in turn influences another…"

"A ripple effect," Ryuzaki concluded, munching on his sugary snack contentedly. "Very interesting theory. Then you propose that each person in some way influences the lives of everyone else." He shook his head slowly. "That means that each person is necessary, but not important. Not treasured, nor loved." He fidgeted slightly with the long sleeves of his shirt, frowning slightly and watching an ant scurry across the concrete. "Some people," he finished softly, "are no more loved than ants."

"Ants are important to other ants," Light replied, following his gaze. "If I were to kill this ant right now, I would bet the others might just hold a funeral," he said in an effort to lighten the mood slightly.

Ryuzaki apparently didn't follow this train of thought, as he slapped his hand down on the scurrying creature, killing it instantly. "Let them weep," he whispered bitterly. "They're _only_ ants." He closed his eyes tightly, drawing in a ragged breath, a pained expression on his face.

Light wasn't looking at his face.

Rather, he was looking at hand Ryuzakihad used to squash the ant, and at the slim line of bare flesh that was displayed above it when the sleeve of his white shirt moved back slightly at the sudden smacking movement.

Ryuzaki seemed to realize his mistake and quickly crossed his arms defensively over his chest, a very uncharacteristic action, topped off by the fact that he was no longer gazing at the hazy gray sky above, but rather at Light, eyes wide and truly frightened now.

"Ryuzaki…" Light began slowly, a looming sort of dread creeping over him like an almost tangible element, "how exactly did you get those cuts on your wrist?"

-


	8. Chapter 8

_"Am I in too deep? - Have I lost my mind? - I don't care... You're here tonight." Hero by Enrique Iglesias_

* * *

Ryuzaki didn't reply. He simply stared at Light, ebony eyes huge and terrified, and shook his head.

"Did you do that?" Light pressed.

"No," Ryuzaki snapped, glaring vehemently at him. "It was an accident. Just drop it, Light-kun."

Light ignored the obvious warning. "An accident_ how_?"

Silence. Apparently Ryuzaki hadn't thought that excuse through all the way. Most likely out of the belief that he would never have to use it… After all, before he'd met Light, he hadn't really talked to anyone… And who was going to pay close attention to some random loner's arms?

Light would not doubt that this was indeed the thought process.

"It looks like a fairly precise accident," he went on.

"Shut up."

He immediately pulled away slightly - the venom in those words was startling. Especially coming from quiet, composed Ryuzaki.

"Ryuzaki," he began gently, "you know what they say about people who protest too much."

"Yes, I know," he returned shortly. "This is not a conversation that I wish to have, Light-kun. I hope that you will respect that."

"If we were talking about the weather, that might be different. This is serious."

Ryuzaki's prolonged glare was getting a bit unnerving. "Light-kun."

"Answer my question."

"I told you to drop it."

"No." Ryuzaki was stubborn, but then again, so was Light, when he set his mind to something.

"I'm not going to answer, I hope you realize."

"Then I'll just draw my own conclusions," Light warned.

Ryuzaki looked at him unblinkingly. "You do that."

"Then, I would assume that you're suicidal."

"You would, would you?"

"Yes," Light growled. "And I wonder what Emily would think…"

"_Don't_," Ryuzaki seethed. "You wouldn't _dare_ tell anyone about this…"

_Checkmate._ "Then you have some serious explaining to do."

Ryuzaki's eyes widened even further, furious. It wasn't as though he had much of a choice now; he was entirely at Light's mercy.

"What do you wish to know?" he sighed at long last, visibly drooping.

Light allowed himself a small, triumphant smile, before leaning forward, catching hold of Ryuzaki's wrist, pushing the sleeve of his shirt back again. Ryuzaki drew in a sharp breath through clenched teeth as Light began to examine the damage.

"Did you do this?" he repeated softly.

There was a long silence, then Ryuzaki looked sharply away, scowling off into space. "Yes."

"Why?"

"I would think that might be obvious," Ryuzaki replied icily.

Light met his eyes sadly. "Because… you want to kill yourself?"

"It would be a weight off of everyone's shoulders, trust me. And besides…" he trailed off, then looked at the ground as if it had suddenly captured his complete attention, and went on in a much quieter voice, "I deserve it."

"No, you don't," Light snapped. "Would you just stop putting yourself down like that? Haven't you ever thought what it would do to _me_ if you were to go kill yourself?"

"You would recover. It's human nature." He shrugged.

"You are so damn _selfish_!" Light growled fiercely. "Let's get this straight, Ryuzaki- you do not deserve to die, you're not _nothing_, and you're not an _ant_."

Ryuzaki still refused to look at him. "Easy for you to say, Light-kun. Has it ever occurred to you that not everyone has lived the same prefect life as you? It's easy for you to say that no one is unimportant, because you yourself have never been unimportant."

"That doesn't _justify _anything!"

"If you had lived my life, you would think that it does."

"I don't care, Ryuzaki!" he exclaimed, frustrated. "I don't care how _different_ we are - I don't want to you _die_, for God's sake! You're not unimportant, because _I_ care about you!"

"You're the only one. It's scarcely worth it." He shook his head slowly.

There was a low growl of thunder - an autumn storm approaching.

"So what happens to me doesn't matter?" Light argued, lowering his voice slightly. "You only care about how miserable _your_ life is?"

There was a long stretch of silence, and Ryuzaki's next words were barely audible, forcing Light to lean even closer to hear him. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Light hissed. "You're willing to sacrifice my happiness, just so that you don't have to put up with _not being the most popular guy in school_ anymore?" He gave a disgusted noise. "You really don't care about _anyone_ but yourself."

Finally, Ryuzaki turned to look at him. "That's not true," he whispered. "I do care… I really do."

"..."

And Light was suddenly painfully aware of their proximity.

This was the closest he'd ever been to Ryuzaki - close enough to drown in those bottomless smoky eyes, close enough that he could feel his roommate's soft, warm breath on his face, close enough, that, if he wanted to, he could…

Kiss him.

"_Light-kun…"_

Maybe death wouldn't be that bad of a consequence…

It started to rain. Light didn't move - he scarcely noticed.

Rather, he was distracted by a short daydream - what exactly _would_ it be like to kiss those pale lips, just once…?

"Light-kun!"

Ryuzaki's voice completely shattered the moment, bringing Light back to the reality of the situation… And that reality was that they were barely a hair's width apart.

He immediately jerked away, pulse thundering out a jagged, distorted rhythm, breathing hard. He'd been mere centimeters away from imminent death.

But that death was _so_ very tempting…

"I'm sorry," he muttered after a moment, looking away. Here he was, berating Ryuzaki for being so selfish, then he was doing the exact same thing - ready to completely throw away his life. Hypocrite…

And didn't even like the guy that much.

…_Did_ he?

Oh, this was ridiculous.

"We should go inside," Ryuzaki said calmly, looking at the sky again as if to indicate the pounding rain, which, by that point, had them both entirely drenched.

Light nodded his agreement, slowly getting to his feet. "I won't tell anyone about… what we just discussed," he muttered.

"Neither will I," Ryuzaki replied, the double meaning very clear.

"On one condition - you agree to never do _that_ again."

Ryuzaki nodded. "Agreed." He got to his feet as well, shoving his hands into his pockets, and beginning to slouch off. "Thank you, Light-kun."

* * *

Light wasn't anticipating that the dreams would begin again that night - but neither was he entirely surprised.

"_Good evening, Light."_

_Light glared briefly at Kira, who was sitting beside him, then glanced away. "Why the hell are you in my _room_ now?"_

_Kira gave what was obviously meant to be a reassuring smile, but it came off as more of a smirk. "I thought that you might be more comfortable here. Our last few conversations have taken place where I am most comfortable - I thought it would be only fair."_

"_How considerate of you," Light sneered. "If you really wanted to back me comfortable, you would leave."_

_Kira only shook his head. "Would you care yo go for a walk with me? We have much to talk about."_

"_I don't want to talk to you at all," Light grumbled, but he got to his feet and followed the dream-apparition out the door anyway. Kira seemed to pretty much know his way around, and in moments they were out the door and following a winding path away from the school._

"_You had a very interesting day," Kira pointed out._

_Light sighed, annoyed. "Please stop spying on me."_

"_I'm not spying on you."_

"_You're watching me!"_

"_True."_

"_Without my knowledge. That falls under the category of spying."_

_Kira glanced at him from the corner of his blood-red eye. "Now you know." He smirked. "So, I'm surprised you didn't find out about your roommate's weakness before now, Light. For someone with such a keen mind, it certainly took you long enough. There were enough clues, you realize… The long sleeve shirts… the way he jumped away from you that day when you touched his arm…"_

"_Hindsight is twenty-twenty."_

"_Perhaps… I applaud you for having the courage to confront him."_

"_Stop talking about Ryuzaki."_

"_As you wish, Light."_

_They fell silent, the only sound being the crunch of dead leaves underfoot. By this time, they had reached the tree line, and though Light had never been here, the path was somehow familiar. After a long moment, Kira suddenly reached out, grasping hold of Light's hand and entwining their fingers together. Light flinched slightly away from the icy touch, but made no comment. Kira showed no signs of releasing him any time soon, so he simply looked away and changed the topic._

"_Where are we going, exactly?"_

"_Some place very important to me," Kira said cryptically. "I apologize for all this secrecy, Light. When the time is right, I promise you'll understand everything."_

_Light gave an unhappy growl. "How exactly do you know me?"_

"_I have known you all your life. Now is not the time to elaborate further."_

"_You say that we have a lot to discuss - but you refuse to answer any of my questions. What, exactly, are we discussing?" he shot._

_Kira's grip on his hand tightened, almost imperceptibly. "I simply wanted you to know, Light, that there is nothing at all I can't give you. Nothing I would deny you. If you would only allow me."_

_Light jerked away from him abruptly, irritated. "There's nothing I want that you can give. Other than for you to leave me the hell alone."_

"_Think, Light," Kira urged. "Is there anything that you want, something that you want desperately, from the darkest corner of your heart, but can never obtain?"_

"Light-kun…"

_Light glared, ignoring the torment his imagination was putting him through yet again. "Nothing that you can give, I repeat. And if you think that I'm just going to agree to whatever terms you have because I want something--"_

"_Of course not," Kira murmured gently, turning to him and placing his hands firmly on his shoulders. "You would never give in so easily. You're so very strong, Light. I've always admired that in you…" His gaze softened slightly. "And… so very lovely…"_

"_Get away from me."_

_Something like cold fury momentarily flashed in Kira's eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a careful mask of disappointment. "Some day soon, Light. You will realize that you need me. And I will be waiting."_

Light awoke with a start, back in the darkness of his room. His sheets were damp with sweat, and he had clawed into his down quilt and torn the feathers from inside of it.

"Liar," he choked out. "Liar."

A flash from a lightening strike outside scattered through the drapes, followed closely by a thunderous noise like an explosion just outside of the window. Then silence, save for the sound of rain pounding all around.

Light really wished that he could have slept through this. As it was…

Resigning himself to the fact that he was going to be awake for a while, he dragged himself out of bed, shivering. He couldn't delay this any longer - storm or no storm, he needed to go talk to Patricia. It wasn't as though things were going to get any better without some answers.

Throwing on a heavy brown jacket, he crept to the door, being careful not to--

"Light-kun?"

…wake Ryuzaki.

"Yes?"

A tired sigh. "Are you sneaking out again?"

"Yeah," Light admitted. "I'm going to get a midnight snack, or something."

"Okay, then. Bring me back some cheesecake, would you?"

Light smiled, relieved. "Of course I will." Food. Brilliant excuse. A reason for rule breaking that even Ryuzaki would approve of…

"Strawberry," he muttered, waving a hand dismissively and closing his eyes again.

Light didn't quite know how he was going to come up with an excuse for why he was drenched with rainwater on his return from the _kitchen_… but he'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it.

The hallway was dark, and eerily silent, as if daring anyone to make a noise. A dare that Light wasn't up for. He slipped quietly down the hall, nerves tingling with the quick jolt of adrenaline that rule-breaking produced. Really, he was going to have to do this more often--

No sooner had that thought occurred to him, than there was a sudden, rusted creaking from the below floor. Light frowned slightly, leaning around the corner to chance a look down the stairs.

A dark, soaking wet outline was framed in the doorway, unmoving, head bowed as rainwater dripped onto the floor. The sound of loud, ragged breathing echoed noisily about the main room, but…

No… It couldn't be…

Light crept forward, narrowing his eyes to look through the darkness…

It was.

Mello.

What was Mello doing, outside in the middle of a rainstorm? And why the hell was he just walking in the front door, at the risk of being caught, when he could have teleported much more easily?

And he wasn't looking too good, either.

Light shifted slightly, to eye the room from another angle. The dimmed illumination cast from the chandelier made visibility almost minimal… but…

That wasn't rainwater.

Mello was covered, head to toe, in blood.

"Oh my _God_," Light breathed, frozen in place by a wave of nausea and fear. What was…

Suddenly, as is startled by a sudden noise, Mello whipped about, glancing over his shoulder, then, shuddering, staggered inside. After a moment, he broke into a run, racing across the room's huge marble floor, his shoes leaving behind smudged, bloody footprints.

What the hell…

This wasn't good. Oh no, not good at all.

Light debated, for a moment, about telling someone about this, but thought better of it. Mello was more likely than not on his way to the infirmary right now - and telling an authority figure might be seen as a bit… incriminating.

As long as Mello was still capable of walking and running, then whatever injury he'd sustained couldn't be that grievous - maybe it was a head wound. Lots of blood, little damage…

That was only half of it. What scared him more than all the blood was the look in Mello's eyes, just for a moment, as he had turned to look back over his shoulder - terrified, cruel, and entirely, absolutely _insane_; all mingled and clashed in that cold, clear gaze.

After a moment, he turned, heading back to his room, legs trembling slightly. Any thought of talking to Patricia tonight was entirely banished - not a chance was he going to slip outside, when whatever the hell had done _that_ might still be out there.

He pushed the door open, stumbling inside, and suddenly realized that he was breathing very loudly.

"Light-kun?"

"I've lost my appetite."

"Mmm," Ryuzaki agreed, not opening his eyes. "I _almost_ have too."

Light drew in a deep, shaking breath. He'd tell Ryuzaki about this… whatever-the-occurrence… in the morning. For now… he didn't think he could retell the experience.

Slowly, he sat down on the edge of Ryuzaki's bed. He didn't want to have to return to his own sleep just yet - recent imagery would assure that it would not be a peaceful rest.

And there it was, that kindergarten mentality. He didn't want to sleep alone, lest the bogyman decided to make itself known.

A moment's deliberation, then, his mind made up, he kicked his shoes off, and lay down next to Ryuzaki, wrapping an arm around his roommate's slim figure.

"Light-kun?" He was fully awake now, and nervous, from the sounds of things.

"Yes?" Light muttered, surprised that his voice was trembling so much. And he wasn't sure it was entirely out of fear, either.

"You do realize that this is not your bed, right?"

"Yes." As if to say that this hardly made any difference, he ran a hand down Ryuzaki's arm, ghosting his still gloved fingers across the jagged scars on his pale wrists. Ryuzaki flinched slightly, which Light ignored, instead making a more deliberate effort - slowly clasping their hands together.

"Light-kun? What exactly are you doing?"

"Nothing," he said offhandedly, pressing closer and closing his eyes tightly, praying silently that he would not have the image of blood-covered Mello seared into his memory.

And, for just one moment, suspended in time, he didn't.

He couldn't think of that, or anything else - lost entirely to the feeling of Ryuzaki's warm body pressed against him.

"You are most certainly doing something," Ryuzaki snapped. "I'm going to have to ask you to get off of me."

Light inhaled deeply, taking in the sweet smell coming off of Ryuzaki's hair. "And I'm going to have to refuse."

"Hmm." Ryuzaki edged away slightly, then seemed to think better of it. "Light-kun, if I may ask, _why_ are you doing this?"

"Would you believe me if I said that I'm afraid of storms?"

-


	9. Chapter 9

-

_"With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes - I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do - You're an angel disguised - And you're lying real still, but your heart beat is fast just like mine - And the movie's long over, that's three that have passed, one more's fine." -- Awake by Secondhand Serenade_

* * *

Light was slowly drawn back from a thankfully dreamless sleep, and blinked, the veils about window billowing softly in the cool breeze of the late morning slowly coming into focus. He smiled sleepily to himself, content within the warm cocoon in which he was enwrapped. Never did he wish to rise from the warmth of the rumpled coverlet beneath which he lay. Nor could he ever leave, without great reluctance, the company of the person who lay against him, sheltered within the circle of his arms, his dark head tucked against his shoulder.

That was his first thought. His second thought was "Oh no."

What the _hell_ had he been thinking?! He was inches away from Death itself - no, he was currently being _smothered_ by Death, who, what'd ya know, actually did sleep after all.

And Death looked so comfortable when he slept…

His breathing was gentle and even, the touch of him, achingly soft and warm. Dark hair fanned out about him, errant locks straying over his pale face, and tumbling over Light's chest and like a shimmering, star-washed cloud.

And… their hands were still clasped tightly together.

Light blinked. Any random onlooker would _really_ get the wrong idea from this scene.

Yet, he was loathe to move.

Wasn't as though anyone was going to come barging in here anyway… Well, Mello might, but--

Oh… Mello.

Light frowned at this thought. He'd nearly forgotten… That was sort of important.

At the moment, though, it hardly seemed so very important at all.

All he really wanted to do right now was…

Unthinking, he reached a tentative hand out, brushing his fingers across his Ryuzaki's brow and smoothing the hair away to study the tender contours of his face. True, he was not one that school girls would fawn over, slouched over and constantly disheveled. But some of his other characteristics, the ones that weren't noticeable from afar - eyes like cold black jewels… the pallor of his skin, which, in the pale brightness of dawn, seemed to hold a slight, silvery glow… the rapid beat of his pulse visible beneath soft-looking curves of his throat…

Argh. Light needed to stop this train of thought, and fast.

It wasn't helping to think of the way Ryuzaki was sprawled out over his chest at the moment, either…

"_Light-kun…"_

Ryuzaki's voice reverberated in his mind, the sound breathless and pleading.

_Soft fingers running over his chest._

_A hot mouth on his neck, marking him for everyone to see._

Imaginings of what would never be. What _should_ never be…

Damned double chocolate sugar cookies.

Yes, it was all the cookies' fault. This was all in his mind.

"_Light-kun… I lo--"_

No!

He absolutely could not be_in love _with Ryuzaki, of all people…

…But why the hell not?!

"Ryuzaki--" he murmured beneath his breath, leaning closer and brushing a soft kiss against his roommate's hair, smiling as he bent to the quite compulsion. For the moment, at least, he wasn't going to fight it.

Which turned out be another very bad idea.

Ryuzaki sighed contentedly in his sleep, then, slowly, blinked his eyes open. "Light-kun?"

Oh no… He should have made an escape sooner… Ryuzaki was certainly not going to be happy now.

"Yes?" he said at long last, bracing himself.

"You're still here."

"Yes."

Ryuzaki apparently couldn't come up with a good reply to this, instead simply staring at him, as if in confusion. Light had feeling that he was either about to be told off, or be met with a cold wall of disappointment.

Ryuzaki did neither. "Were you watching me sleep?"

"Wha--NO!" Light snapped indignantly. "Well… yes, but you haven't given me much of a choice! You're sort of _everywhere_." He waved his free hand about, just incase there was need for a visual demonstration.

Ryuzaki watched the entire display with mild interest. "It's your own fault. I seem to recall, it was you who insisted on cuddling with _me_."

"I--you--I did not--" Words failed him, and, with absolutely no thought for the consequences, he reached behind his head, grabbed a pillow, and soundly smacked Ryuzaki over the head with it.

"What the--" Ryuzaki disentangled himself with great difficult, struggling away and staring at Light as though he had just gone mad. "What was that for?!"

"I think you very well know," Light seethed, and was beginning to get to his feet when something fluffy collided with the side of his head.

"Ryuzaki!" he exclaimed, glaring. "I refuse to get into a pillow fight with you!"

"I was simply paying you back. An eye for an eye."

Light didn't have time to doge the next strike, which hit him full in the face. "And that's because I felt like it."

"Stop that!" Light growled, moving to stand up, but sprawling pathetically to the floor, as the bed sheets were hopelessly tangled around his legs. "…Damn it."

And a pillow landed soundly on his face.

"I'll kill you!" he burst out, tripping and stumbling to his feet, all for the purpose of throwing the pillow back at him, smirking with satisfaction as his roommate tumbled off the opposite edge of the his bed in a flurry of feathers.

"That wasn't fair," Ryuzaki muttered sadly as he regained his feet and stuffed his hands into his pockets, all the while glaring murderously at Light.

"Serves you right." Honestly, the guy could be SO annoying sometimes. Still growling to himself, he went to the mirror and began pulling stray feathers from his hair. Damn Ryuzaki… "So," he managed finally, struggling to keep his voice controlled. "Had an interesting run in last night."

"You could say that, yes," Ryuzaki murmured under his breath.

Light shot him _the look_. "Not _that_, you pervert. I mean, when I left the room."

"Of course, that's what you meant, Light-kun," he agreed, smirking up at the ceiling.

"I ran into Mello."

"Indeed?"

"Yeah." Light turned to him, frowning slightly. "Weird… he'd just come inside, or something, and… this is going to sound weird, but… he was absolutely _covered_ in blood…"

Ryuzaki's eyes widened. "And when exactly were you planning on telling me this?"

"Now." Light cleared his throat awkwardly. "It didn't look too serious… I mean, he could still walk and stuff…" He trailed off, realizing just how very feeble this argument sounded. It had seemed reasonable enough at the moment, but faced with that unnerving stare, he was beginning to lose confidence in his argument.

"You have absolutely _no _common sense," Ryuzaki shot. "I don't care what your test scores say."

And, without a backward glance, he stalked out of the room.

Light rolled his eyes. Stupid decision or no, it wasn't as though Ryuzaki was never going to talk to him again…

His dark-haired roommate doubled back, apparently having thought of something else to say. "Oh, and Light-kun? _Never_ try to cuddle with me again."

* * *

By the time that Light was fully dressed, and headed down to the dining room, he was absolutely certain that Ryuzaki was never going to talk to him again.

Unless he apologized, that was.

There were no signs of blood in the entrance hall, though there was a distinct after smell, something a bit like cleaning chemicals. Then again, he'd almost expected this.

The dining room was just as chaotic as ever, though Ryuzaki was still easy to spot, crouching alone in a table near the corner.

Yes, Ryuzaki most definitely stood out in a crowd, as though he were somehow different from all the people milling about him…

And those people were sadly oblivious to the fact that Ryuzaki was so very… _lovely_ when he slept…

Oblivious to the fact that Light was rooted firmly in place by some foreign, strong emotion that seized whenever he lay eyes on his roommate…

Oblivious to the fact that, barely minutes ago, the two had been happily entwined with one another…

He had to restrain a delicious shiver at that thought.

Oh no. Now Ryuzaki was making him shiver?

This was Bad. Bad with a capital "B".

Their eyes met.

_Inhale,_ Light needed to remind himself.

This was _so _stupid. Did he have absolute no self-restraint?! It was pointless to torment himself like this, when Ryuzaki was the one person that he absolutely could not have…

Not that this was a chosen torment, by any means…

He gave huge sigh, and trudged over. "I apologize for being an idiot," he sighed, eyes on the ground.

"Accepted," Ryuzaki hummed brightly. "I do love hearing you say that, though… And, you had me worried for nothing. Look." He glanced across the room.

Light followed his gaze - there, just as usual, Matt, Near, and Mello were congregated together, glaring moodily about the room.

The blonde was not marked by a single scratch.

"You must've had a nightmare," Ryuzaki concluded.

Light nodded slowly, although he was truly hoping that he was still able to distinguish between dreams and reality - no matter how terrifying that reality may be.

"What'd you want to do today?" he asked finally, changing the subject and adding this to the long list of things he would think about when he had the time.

Ryuzaki shrugged. "Study?"

Light snickered. "Good one. Seriously, though."

"Lounge around have deeply philosophical conversations, as we do every Saturday?"

"You have _no_ sense of adventure."

Ryuzaki looked at him in mock annoyance. "I take great exception to that, good sir. I love sense-of-adventure. If it were socially acceptable, I would _marry_ sense-of-adventure."

"Ergh," Light commented, rolling his eyes. "C'mon, then. If your idea of adventure involves having deeply philosophical conversations, then that is what we will do."

"Yay." After quickly gulping down a small bowl of syrup for breakfast, Ryuzaki got to his feet, and followed Light out the door.

Outside, dawn was a foggy, cold affair. The sun seemed quite lethargic, as if unwilling to welcome this day, and rose slowly over the dark, ominous spires of the distant mountains. The muddy puddles left behind in the imprints of footprints after the rainstorm had a thin crusting of ice over them.

"Dreary," Ryuzaki commented, his breath rising before him like mist as he spoke.

Light shrugged, and though he personally agreed, he didn't want to contribute to Ryuzaki's already depressing mood by saying so.. "You never know - a little more sunlight and this could turn out to be quite a nice day."

"No… it's autumn. It's only getting worse from here."

He sighed yet again. Even if the day hadn't been so gloomy, Ryuzaki would no doubt come up with something entirely depressing to say about it… Though, it was indeed understandable coming from him. "I wasn't talking about the weather - just meant today."

"I hardly see your point, Light-kun." He began chewing on his thumbnail yet again, gazing disinterestedly at the bleak gray sky.

There was a time, Light reminded himself, that this action may have seemed quirky, and even a little weird. Now, though…

Now, he couldn't help but smile at the familiar action, and he couldn't help admiring how even the most insipid rays of sunlight seemed to catch in Ryuzaki's raven hair…

"I mean…" He cleared his throat, trying to remember what they'd been talking about. "It's… Yes, in general, things are only going to get worse. There's no denying that… but… For today… for just a moment… I'd like to believe that everything can be… perfect."

Ryuzaki shot him a look, before returning to gazing at the clouds. "Ever the idealist."

"What was all the crap about _hope_ that you were defending the other day?"

"As I said, I don't let it blind me. I like to maintain a realistic assessment of every scenario." He sighed deeply. "And that assessment is this: life is no fairytale."

Light shook his head. "In general, I would have to agree with you. But there's good in everything bad… However fleeting."

"And there is bad in every good. Nothing is purely good, Light-kun."

"I… I know that," he muttered. "But… That only makes what _is_ good better."

"True. Though, is it worth waiting for that good, amidst all the bad?"

Light did not reply immediately. A chilled dawn wind gusted past, whisking away their clouds of visible breath, and feathering through the dry leaves that littered the ground. There was no magical parting of the clouds, nothing to change the dismal feel of the surrounding countryside.

There was, however, Ryuzaki, standing beside him, wild hair flying about his face, charcoal eyes as bottomless and _beautiful_ as ever, even touched by such obvious sadness.

In that moment, despite every the fact that every instinct he possessed was screaming _"Danger!"_, Light had to admit to himself - he was completely consumed by a fierce, scorching surge of emotion that was somehow wonderfully sweet at the same time…

Love?

Yes - despite everything, despite how much he dreaded to admit it, even to himself, the fact was there, as omnipresent and bleak as the sunlight streaming through the autumn clouds above: he was completely and in every respect, in _love_ with the one person he could never have - could never even touch.

"Yes," he muttered, his voice soft and oddly broken. "I think it is worth waiting for."

-


	10. Chapter 10

-

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes, Light-kun?"

He cleared his throat, averting his eyes to stare off into the distance, as if uninterested in the conversation. "Just out of curiosity… Is sense-of-adventure a guy or a girl?"

"What?"

"Earlier… you said that you would marry sense-of-adventure… I was wondering what gender sense of adventure is," he blurted out.

"Light-kun, you must understand, I was exaggerating a bit to make a point."

"I know that!" Faltering slightly, he went on, "I mean… Would you just answer the question?"

Ryuzaki blinked at him, as if this request were entirely absurd. "Sense-of-adventure is not a person or creature, it is a concept, and thus is neither gender."

"Hypothetically speaking," Light growled, "if sense-of-adventure WERE a person, would it be a male of a female?"

"Good question. It seems that society has imposed rules upon us that sense-of-adventure is a quality that should only be possessed by males. Though, if you're trying to imply that it should be equal, I suppose that a good case could be made for the argument that sense of adventure could be a female as well…"

"_If you had to marry sense-of-adventure,_" he began again, more loudly "…Which gender would you prefer sense-of-adventure to be?"

There as a long pause, as Ryuzaki visibly worked out all the technicalities and possibilities of this scenario. "…Another good question. I'll get back to you."

"Ryuzaki, it's an _easy_ question," Light sighed, annoyed "It's like… if I asked you to decide if you wanted cake or cookies."

"Can't I have both?"

"No. You have to decide… Though, I suppose, you could state that you like cake and cookies equally," he mused.

"Well, I do."

"Okay. Now apply that sort of thought process to the sense-of-adventure question."

"In that case, I do not like either cake or cookies."

"You what?"

He shrugged. "Not interested. The bakery on my street is closed."

Light gaped. "How can you…"

"I am not interested in cake, cookies, or anyone other form of sweets… I mean that metaphorically, of course."

Of course he did… "You mean you've never…"

"Nope."

"Not even…"

"It would be a bad idea for someone with my… condition… to even consider such things. I have, thus, made it a point, not to allow such feelings to endanger the wellbeing of others." He blinked slowly, then, speaking more to himself, "Maybe this is difficult for Light-kun to understand, as he has obviously never had an emotion which originates _above_ the waist…"

"WHAT?! Ryuzaki--I am not--how can you even--"

"I simply making the point, Light-kun, that not all of us are crossbred with rabbits," he smirked.

Light had to clasp his hands together in order to fight back the very strong urge to punch him. "I have _never_--"

"Let's see… That I know about… You definitely had something going on with Mello; until you punched him, that is… and your little display last night…"

"MELLO?! Are you serious? Why do you think--"

Ryuzaki simply smirked up at the sky. "He was always all over you."

"Mello's always all over everyone!"

"I've never seen it that bad before."

Light was momentarily incapable to form a complete thought, let alone think of a reply - instead, he blurted out the first thought that was at least semi-intelligible: "It didn't mean anything!"

Which pretty much sealed his fate.

"Wait - Ryuzaki, I didn't mean--what I meant was… I mean… Mello's reaction doesn't mean that I feel the same way… I… That's didn't come out right--What I meant was that I never… Mello was just…"

Ryuzaki stared at him for another few seconds, then looked up at the sky, as if, having proved his point, he'd suddenly lost interest.

"I never--Mello was just a friend! He wasn't even that, I didn't like him that much…"

"Light-kun?"

"What?!"

"Please stop talking."

Gratefully, he did.

* * *

Light realized later that afternoon that his arrival as a new student really _was_ cause for much talk and gossip. When he'd been the center of all of this attention, he'd scarcely noticed, but the arrival of yet another new student made him fully aware of exactly how much of a commotion it really did cause.

"…Wonder what his gift is…?"

"…Has anyone seen him? Is he good-looking…?"

"…I've heard some rumors about this kid - detention centers, mental institutions, the works…"

For his part, Light did his best to ignore all of this inane chatter, but it was proving difficult. Curiosity, as he was discovering, was an infectious thing. It was odd to see that, in the space of barely three hours, everyone's attention could be so suddenly directed at one single source.

Light was only mildly interested; he had enough to think about as it was, and some new student was really the least of his concerns. Ryuzaki seemed oblivious to the entire affair, and the look of interest on his face when Light half-heartedly tried to draw him into a conversation concerning this new arrival was no doubt misdirected at some sort of percentage that he was working out.

A percentage that likely did not involve--

"_Beyond Birthday_? What sort of name is _that_?"

Ah, so this mysterious enigma did have a name after all… Though, true enough, what sort of twisted parent would give their kid a name like that? Yikes.

With a shrug, he resumed the deep philosophical conversation he was having with Ryuzaki - this time, the subject was…

"Hmm… Do you think there are snowflakes in Hell…?"

…Good question.

* * *

"What the hell _happened_ to you?!"

"Matt. Calm down," Near tried to reason, putting a hand on his friend's arm, half a comforting gesture, and half a restraining one.

Mat jerked away. "No, I will not calm down!" He pointing accusingly at Mello, who was simply looking back at him sadly. "Haven't you noticed that there's something _wrong_ with him?!"

"Perhaps he has been a little off," Near conceded. "But that's no reason to get so worked up."

Ignoring him, Matt instead leaned across the table, grabbing hold of the front of Mello's shirt. "Who are you, and what have you done with Mello?!" It was a serious question; by Matt's reasoning, there was no way that this quiet, sad person could be his loud-mouthed, annoying friend.

Mello simply stared at him.

"Say something!" Matt growled desperately. _Anything - be mad at me… hate me… just something, anything…_

And, for a moment, it looked as though Mello was about to fly into a rage - scream and loudly announce that he didn't appreciate Matt invading his personal space, or that he'd say something if he _felt_ like it, or that he wasn't going to be bossed around--

The moment passed. That cold, resigned look reclaimed his expression.

Somehow, anger would have been preferable.

There was a long silence, then, slowly, as if in a trance, Mello raised one hand, and gripped Matt's wrist firmly with oddly cold fingers. "Take your hands off of me, Matt, or I will make you."

If there had been any doubt before, it was banished now. Matt knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that something was terribly, horribly wrong.

He released his grip on Mello's shirt, sinking back into his seat with a heavy sigh, trying to ignore the curiously tearful sensation that was quickly making itself known.

Mello eyed him levelly, then shrugged slightly, got to his feet, and walked away.

* * *

"I suppose that's the new student."

"What? Where?"

Ryuzaki shrugged. "Just look in the general direction that everyone else is looking. Seems logical enough to me."

True. Light decided to follow this advice, glancing across the room towards where the rest of the student body's attention was focused. And, so, he caught his first glimpse of Beyond Birthday.

The kid looked like somewhat of a cross between Light and Ryuzaki - dark hair and pale skin, but neat and orderly, right down to the perfectly ironed black shirt he wore. In all truth, it didn't look like any piece of him was entirely unique - thin, but well muscled, like Mello, nonchalant as Matt, expressionless as Near. His hair, while rather long, was perfectly styled, showing the same cultivated attention as Teru Mikami's. In short, Beyond Birthday looked the creation of some crazed Doctor Frankenstein, like bits and pieces that he'd seen on others and decided to copy.

And so, due to this fact, this entire lack of individuality, he should have simply blended into the crowd. He shouldn't have stood out at all, but for some reason, he _did_ stand out. He did nothing to draw the looks he was getting from all around the room. In fact, he acted just as any other student, like a chameleon adapting to it's environment as a survival technique. He looked normal, acted normal, and yet, there was some sort of _intensity_ about him that seemed to draw curious looks.

After watching this new arrival for a few moments, Light concluded that there was nothing in Beyond Birthday's posture, his stride, or even the slightest of his movements that was anything out of the ordinary. Nothing that radiated intensity, but…

As if sensing that Light was watching him, he turned suddenly, looking across the room and locking their gazes.

And _there_ was something unique.

Beyond Birthday's eyes were wide, and dark. Much like Ryuzaki's, but that scarcely would have caught anyone's attention. What was so different, was that even from such a distance, there was something of a fanatic gleam in those eyes, a look that could best be described as purely _cruel_; almost madness, but wickedly beautiful at the same time.

He blinked, and smiled.

Light shivered.

"You seem to have made yourself a new friend," Ryuzaki commented. It wasn't very surprising to find that he'd been watching the entire exchange.

"Yeah," Light agreed under his breath, dropping his gaze to stare at his own hands. There was something unnerving about Beyond Birthday's eyes, something threatening - as though, if one were to look into them for too long, they would cast some sort of wicked spell…

"Typically, this is the point where you would introduce yourself."

"Don't want to," was the clipped reply.

Ryuzaki didn't argue any further - Light added this to a long list of things that he simply loved about his roommate. Never asked too many questions.

Ergh. He had a list now? This disturbing thought was almost enough to make him forget that unnerving stare…

…Almost.

* * *

"Hopefully you remember the agreement that we reached earlier, regarding your cuddlesome tendencies."

Could that be a smile…?

"I remember." Light nodded curtly, making it a point of sitting down on his own bed. Slightly annoyed at Ryuzaki's insinuation, however, he went on, with a look of feigned innocence directed at the ceiling, "How's your arm feeling today, by the way?"

Ooh. Now it was just a glare.

"Go to sleep, Light-kun."

"I'm just checking to see if your remember our _other_ agreement," he replied airily.

"I have a photographic memory, so your concern, while touching, is wasted."

"Hmm. Alright. If you remember our agreement, then are you sticking to it?"

"Light-kun, since you have spent every conscious and unconscious moment of the last twenty-four hours in my presence, I don't see how you think that I've even had the opportunity to break that promise." Even though Ryuzaki was just as monotone as ever, there was something of a warning in his words - and that warning was "Drop it".

"If you had the opportunity, would you?"

Without hesitation, "No."

"C'mon. If there were absolutely no way that I would find out…"

"Still no," was the firm reply.

"Okay. What if I was dead?"

He whipped around, fixing Light with a horrified stare. "Why would Light-kun be dead? Is Light-kun anticipating--"

"Just hypothetically," he assured, waving a hand.

"Hypothetically, I do not wish to imagine of any scenario in which Light-kun would be dead," Ryuzaki answered, his eyes widening even further, as if surprised at this concept.

"Hmm." Light sat back thoughtfully. "Alright, what if I never existed?"

"Then we wouldn't have an agreement in the first place."

True. Apparently, Ryuzaki couldn't quite grasp on the _hypothetical_ part… "Fine," he ground out. "Just for a minute, imagine that I'm dead. It doesn't matter how. Would you break the agreement?"

"Light-kun, it does matter how. If it were my fault--"

"If it were your fault, would you?"

"Yes."

Finally, they were getting somewhere. "Okay, how about if it's not your fault?"

"There are too many variables."

"No. Just answer the question. I'm dead. It's not your fault. Do you break your promise?"

"No."

"And Mello's being a jerk," Light added, smirking.

"Tempting, but still no."

"And you just ran out of marshmallows."

"You're pushing your luck."

"C'mon," Light pressed, "would you?"

Ryuzaki tilted his head to the side, as if analyzing the question from this angle would give him some sort of new insight. "No. I would be too busy being sad about your nonexistence."

"Hmm. Interesting."

"What is, Light-kun?"

"It seems that the only circumstances in which you would break your promise, would be if you had killed me. Then…" Deliberately mimicking Ryuzaki's tone and posture, he leaned forward into a horribly slouching crouch, even going so far as to begin chewing his thumbnail, as he had seen his roommate do far too many times, "it is logical to conclude that Ryuzaki-kun would kill me if the temptation to break his promise became too great."

"I find that particularly tasteless, Light-kun."

"Do you really?" He didn't move from the pose he'd struck.

"I think Light-kun is feeling starved for attention," Ryuzaki surmised after a short pause.

Light sat back, giving up. No one but Ryuzaki could hold that pose for long. And he made it look easy… "Enlighten me, then – _why__,_ exactly, do you think that?"

"Because you've began making fun of immaterial aspects of my personality – such as my speaking habits. This complied with the fact that I have just stated that I would not feel suicidal tendencies if you were to die, and the fact that Light-kun typically demands attention and love from all surrounding parties." He leaned closer, copying the pose the Light had been unable to hold moments ago with almost feline grace. "It's logical to conclude that he might act rashly out of a desire to gain attention."

Light rolled his eyes, ignoring this. "Why do you do that, Ryuzaki? Refer to me in the third person, even when you're talking to me?"

"I _think_ of others in the third person. I don't see why the spoken word should be any different."

"Because it's proper grammar!" Light snapped, fidgeting irritably with the collar of his shirt. Honestly… logic could be so annoying at times.

"If Light-kun feels so strongly about this, then I will make a conscious effort to refer to him in the second person when we are speaking."

"I don't mind, Ryuzaki… It's just more personal if you aren't always referring to me like a test subject or something…"

"I had no idea that Light-kun wanted me to be even _more_ personal with him."

"…Pervert."

"You're the cuddly one."

Light nearly laughed, but he managed to choke it off, and instead just ended up making a strange, strangled noise which caused Ryuzaki to look at him oddly.

"Is Light-kun okay?"

"Fine," he said quickly.

"What was that noise?"

"Nothing."

"I'm worried about Light-kun's wellbeing." And indeed, he did look worried. Well, about as worried as you could look without changing your expression in the slightest. _Hmm. Ryuzaki must just have really expressive eyes..._

"It's nothing, Ryuzaki. I laughed - that's all."

"Why? Did something amuse you?"

"At the time, a little bit." He shifted uncomfortably under his roommate's analyzing stare. "What, you mean to tell me that you've never found anything funny?"

"Of course I have, Light-kun. Just not in the way that others typically think," he deadpanned.

"Oh? What do you find funny, then?"

"Truthfully? Like when a fat kid drops their ice cream on the ground and starts crying - well, what with child obesity rates, it's like they're crying because they just lost a chance to consume some two hundred plus calories. It's ironic." He examined the ceiling pensively, then, "Also, I think that Light-kun's cuddliness is rather amusing."

With a growl, Light turned sharply away. "Would you _quit_ bringing that up?"

"I'm simply pondering over the fact that Light-kun has yet to explain his motives for last night's antics," Ryuzaki replied coolly.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I didn't have an ulterior motive?"

"There's always an ulterior motive," he assured, with obvious confidence. "I don't believe that you acted without reason."

"_Maybe_ I did."

"No."

"Fine, then. What do you think my motive was?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out… When I take into consideration your keen interest in my cake and cookies preferences…" He trailed off, letting the unspoken words dangle in the air, almost threateningly. Light simply stared back at him, unblinking. "But then," he began again, "considering the two people involved, I find that conclusion to be illogical. Only a five percent likelihood that it is correct. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense… Unless Light-kun is trying to manipulate me by making me _believe_ that he has taken a romantic interest in me… Or, as he must have anticipated that I would draw that conclusion, and perhaps he wants me to think that he's manipulating me?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" Light said, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"I would assume that, for whatever reason, you want me to be suspicious of you?"

Light ran a hand over his face. "Ergh. Ryuzaki, this conversation is giving me a headache. Rest assured, I am not manipulating you in any way, shape, or form."

"Indeed. Perhaps Light-kun should get some sleep."

Light nodded in agreement, collapsing heavily on his bed, and pulling a pillow over his face.

Barely thirty seconds later, he sat bolt upright again. "Hang on - what'd you mean, 'considering the two people involved'?"

"I simply meant that it would be irrational for Light-kun to have a romantic interest in me."

"Why would that be irrational?!"

"Because Light-kun knows that I do not like baked goods of any kind, and also that it is impossible for me to have a romantic relationship, as I do not wish to kill anyone. Light-kun also obviously knows that he could find a much more attractive individual to direct such feelings at."

"Would you quit putting yourself down like that?" Hmm. Felt as though they'd had this conversation before… Oh, right, they _had. _About fifty times.

"I am simply stating a fact."

"It's not a fact, and I'm not that _shallow,_" he grouched, actually crossing his arms. A bit childish, but whatever...

"You are, however, practical. Such a pursuit would be very, very dangerous."

"You say it like I have a _choice_," an odd, strangely sad voice uttered.

Dead silence.

With horror, Light realized it had been his voice that had spoken those words - those damning words.

Oh shit.

"That's not entirely what I meant," he began slowly, realizing even as he spoke that it was hopeless.

"Sixty-seven percent."

Yikes. Okay, at least it wasn't a hundred…

"And I'm going to request that Emily finds you any other room to stay in."

Oh, okay. At least he wasn't freaking out or anything…

…Hang on.

"Wait - _what_?"

"I do not wish to have Light-kun as my roommate any more."

The words rang out, loud and clear, like a death knell.

Light's heart stopped upon a beat, only to resume at a furious pace, each ragged beat pounding furiously in his head as he tried in vain to deny what he had just heard.. "All because of your stupid sixty-seven percent?!"

"Actually, it's up to seventy now. I do not wish Light-kun to be hurt. Or worse. That would mean that I would deviate from our agreement, and I don't think Light-kun wants that."

"Ryuzaki, come on, you know I didn't mean that!" he exclaimed. _He's smart, he has to realize that it was an honest mistake,_ Light reminded himself desperately, grasping at that thought, as a drowning man snatches at shreds of straw.

"I would sincerely hope not," Ryuzaki replied, his tone edged with a dark note. "However, I think that it would be more practical not to risk it."

Damn it. Now, the more he argued, the more that percentage was going to go up…

And, with a resigned sigh, Light once again pulled the pillow over his head.

"Good night, Light-kun."

"Hmph."

Infuriating. He'd have to find some way around this tomorrow… any further protest tonight would be like driving the final nail into the coffin…

Or maybe there was another way around it…. Maybe… just maybe…

Oh no. He didn't even want to consider that. But… if there was a chance…

He didn't see anyway that he could achieve a 'happy ending' otherwise. Not Ryuzaki's roommate anymore… No baked goods of any sort… No touching…

Yes, things were certainly doomed, unless…

He glared through the darkness, imaging for a moment that he could see the tall, dark figure that was the constant fixture of his dreams looming there. _Well played,_ he thought bleakly. _Well played._

Damn Ryuzaki.

Damn dreams.

Damn double-chocolate sugar cookies.

-

_As always, Light found himself standing outside, under a waning crescent moon. There was a soft chatter of nighttime animals from just behind the bushes, but Light scarcely cared. He knew the way this was going to play out. The same as always. Like a movie…_

_The crunch of footsteps on autumn leaves was the only thing to signal Kira's approach._

"_Light."_

"_Kira."_

_The dream apparition simply smiled. "I think we have a lot to talk about."_

_Light nodded. "Yes," he agreed. "We do."_

-


	11. Chapter 11

"_For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" Mark 8:36_

* * *

Muffled footsteps echoed heavily around the spacious, empty room.

What was this, the fourth time he'd broken curfew? Hmm. He hadn't even had a close encounter yet. That was convenient. Or maybe just luck.

He was by no means getting used to it - if anything, his heart was pounding all the more furiously. Perhaps that was because this time, he wasn't playing a game by breaking curfew. And, if he was caught, the reasons for the rule-breaking would no doubt result in much more serious consequences than he dared imagine.

The great, carven oak front doors were cracked open ever-so-slightly, as if _waiting_ for him. Light shivered at that thought, even as he strained his shoulder against the rough inlaid wood, widening the opening between them and pushed through, stumbling out onto the broad stone veranda that reached round the outer walls of the entrance hall, washed over by the chilled night breezes. He gasped in quick gulps of air as the wind soothed gently through his hair like calming fingers, cooling his flushed face. Slowly, his thundering heart calmed.

It scarcely seemed logical, but he couldn't suppress a slight chill as the harsh glow of a crescent moon fell across his face.

Coincidence.

Maybe this was a sign of insanity - actually putting faith in a dream. And oddly realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless. He was willing to risk everything for…

What a dream had told him.

But if there was a chance that the message of these dreams was real, he wasn't going to just dismiss it. He was motivated partly out of curiosity, partly our of the desire to prove himself wrong, but for the most part, it was pure desperation.

It was dark out, but luckily, the moon shone brightly enough overhead that he could make out a winding trail, leading away from the school, down a small slope, and…

Into the forest.

"Forest. Great. I just need to follow that path," he whispered to himself, ignoring the feeling of dread creeping over him at the thought of entering those dark trees. Who knew what the hell what out there? Bears, wolves… or maybe something worse than animals.

He wasn't sure if he feared that last option, or hoped for it.

Drawing in a deep, calming breath, he began striding towards the tree line with confidence he did not feel.

He faltered briefly as he neared it - there was still time to turn back. He didn't have to go through with this. He could still forget that the whole thing had ever happened…

"…_I do not wish to have Light-kun as my roommate any more…"_

"…_There is nothing at all I can't give you. Nothing I would deny you. If you would only allow me…"_

He hated being manipulated. That alone was almost enough to make him storm back into the school, and forget this whole crazy escapade. He could do it, it still wasn't too late to go back…

And, at the same time, he _couldn't_ turn back.

He stopped walking, just before reaching the forest. It wasn't as though he was being manipulate entirely. Kira might be cunning, but Light had a few tricks up his sleeve as well.

He smiled bitterly at that thought, then shivered upon realizing exactly what he was contemplating. Odd. Before he'd started having these damned dreams, he would have been repulsed at such a thought. He would have thought that he was insane… Well, times had certainly changed…

Choosing to ignore this slightly startling realization, he turned his attention once again to the dark, foreboding outline of the trees. Strange. Night could make even the most familiar settings seem suddenly ominous. He narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to see into the shadows cast along the forest floor - no illumination from the moon touched some places. Just darkness…

It was logical to be afraid, really. After all, this forest held all of his nightmares. Literally.

But, no matter how he was expecting some sort of dark figure to emerge from the gloom, he could still see nothing but thick, shadowy trees. A slight, cold breeze lifted his hair, like a ghost's breath.

"_Light-kun…"_

Cool shadows splayed across his face as he stepped forward, into the forest.

The shrubbery and trees that lined the path obscured the already thin moonlight, and the resulting darkness was unnerving. He cursed himself for not bringing a flashlight. And it didn't help that beyond the trees he could hear animals moving and communicating - he sincerely wished they would be quiet, as every rustled leaf made him tense with fear at the thought what might leap out at him. Unable to see more than a few inches ahead, he hesitated with every step, so he felt as though he were moving backwards rather than forwards.

This was the path his dreams had always followed, right? It certainly felt eerily familiar.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been walking - maybe minutes, maybe hours, but suddenly the path thinned out, and died. Unnerved, knowing that this meant that he was nearing his destination, Light slowed his pace slightly and--

His next step sent him tumbling down a slight incline. It wasn't far to fall, and more unexpected than dangerous, but he was left sprawling at the bottom, bruised and dizzy.

And in a tangle of thorn bushes.

His first instinct was to cry out at the sharp pain of having hundreds of thorns scraping at his skin, but he bit it back, instead simply pushing himself to his feet and staggering forward. A warm, sticky liquid was seeping down his face, and he vaguely wondered how he was going to explain all the cuts and scratches to Ryuzaki in the morning before he realized where he was.

The trees had thinned, allowing the illumination of the moon and starlight to show his surroundings. He was standing in a perfectly crescent shaped clearing, surrounded on all sides by thorn bushes and slight hills. The soil here was disturbed, as though someone had recently been doing some digging.

Light hated it instantly.

This clearing was dark, moist with dew left over from autumn storms, and cold, filled with aged silence. The shadows seemed to whisper more swiftly than before, here in this great empty space. Light shuddered, a slight whimper catching in his throat. Something wasn't right about this - horribly not right. He couldn't come up with any logical explanation for the sudden feeling. It was the sensation that he was being watched, but a thousand times more potent. No, it was more as though he could sense the presence of something, something completely and utterly…

_Evil._

There was a slow hiss, as if the chill air of death's breath seeped from beneath the ground.

Then, out of nowhere…

"_Who are you?"_ seethed a voice in his reeling head. _"Why have you come hear?"_

And the voice seared like fire through Light's veins.

Against his will, he cried out in wrenching pain, falling to his knees. Who could endure such a presence as this? What had he been thinking--this wasn't some dream, this was _real_, this was actually happening--

"_Ah,"_ the voice sighed, as if in sudden understanding. _"You are one of mine."_

Suddenly, all was calm.

"_What is your name?" _

He didn't respond, both unwilling and unable to. Having a conversation with whatever thing was buried in the ground was really the last on his to-do list now - correction, it wasn't on that list at all.

However, he didn't reply, he had a feeling that he'd be forced to anyway, in one way or another. And he didn't think he was up to making a run for it just yet.

At long last, "Light."

Silence.

"_Light,"_ the voice sighed hoarsely, after a pause. _"Forgive me. I did not recognize you. How rude of me."_

Slowly, breathing raggedly, Light got to his feet. "Kira."

"_Indeed. I had almost expected that you would not come here tonight."_

"Yes you did, you bastard," Light muttered, trying and miserably failing to sound defiant. His voice was shaking too badly to manage any emotion other than fear. "You… set up everything… so that I would have to…" He closed his eyes tightly, struggling to remain upright, and took a deep, shaking breath, forcing air into his lungs so that he would not pass out—by gods, he could not pass out!

"_I never tried to deny that,"_ Kira replied evenly. _"I need you, Light. You're the only one who can help me. And, without offering you proper incentive, there was no way that you would agree."_

Incentive…

"Do you mean that you… that… you forced me to fall in love with Ryuzaki?!"

Quickly, _"No, no. I was simply a grateful onlooker. I can only manipulate death, not emotion, Light. You handed me a weapon to use against you - your own feelings. It was all I needed. And that's the reason you are here tonight, is it not?"_

Light nodded dully. "If you can only manipulate death," he began suspiciously, "then I don't see how you can possibly help me. In which case, this conversation is a complete waste."

"_The power over death is also power over life. Deciding who lives, and who dies."_ He chuckled darkly. _"I think you can appreciate that."_

"…_Everyone he touches - skin-to-skin contact, that is - well, they sort of die…"_

Of course he could appreciate that. But… would admitting to it be like handing the thing in the ground another weapon to use against him?

Alright. He'd play along, just to satisfy his curiousity. For now.

"So hypothetically," Light murmured, trying to keep his voice under control, "if someone had… jumped off a bridge, let's say… you could keep them from death?"

"_Correct. A power equal to that of God, wouldn't you say?"_ The hoarse, graveled voice softened slightly. _"I can help you, Light. If you would only allow me."_

As the echo of those words faded in his mind, Light shook his head, and glanced downward, shutting his eyes tightly.

"What… what do you want me to do?"

A chuckle. _"For years, I lay here, and hated, and lusted for revenge upon those who put me here,"_ Kira whispered darkly._ "Then, when so many years, so very many years had passed, I realized that the ones who have imprisoned me here were long dead, rotting in their own tombs. But I… I can never die, Light. I do not wish to die, so I will not."_ There was a long, grating sigh. _"I want to be freed of this earthy tomb. I want to see the sky again. Clouds, I would bet that you take clouds for granted. I've nearly forgotten what they look like. That's all I'm asking of you, Light. That you help me to replenish my strength, so that I might be freed of this eternal torment…"_

"Oh, is that all?" Light replied snidely. "Not a problem, I get that sort of request all the time." He paused. "Why… did _they_ imprison you in the first place?"

"_Because they feared me, Light! They feared what I can do. This power over death - it is the same as yours. If you had lived in my time, they would have done the same to you. It was ignorance that put me here."_

He narrowed his eyes. "You can kill people? How did people find out about that in the first place. Did you--"

"_Yes!"_ Kira exclaimed fiercely. _"Yes, a thousand times yes! And I don't regret it. They were rotten people, rotten people deserving of death! Criminals!"_ Light took a step back at the sudden malice that had entered the thing's tone. _"Those ignorant fools did not realize that I was the one pulling all the strings, I was the one keeping people in line! Ultimately, I was justice! I know, I know, killing people is a crime! But how else was I supposed to make things right?! That's all I wanted to do! That's what my purpose was!"_

Light shrank away.

"_Are you okay with the world you're living in now?! Light, I know you understand, I'm not the enemy!" _The voice was a hoarse scream now, like a raving lunatic, or like a rabid dog.

True. It all seemed so true. The world was corrupt… it would always be… unless…

"_Perhaps… some people are just bad. Whether they're bred by this society or not, some people are just downright wicked, and there's nothing that you, or I, or the government can do to change that matter."_

It was Ryuzaki's voice now, louder than Kira's, the memory playing in his mind.

"_Then… you're contradicting yourself. It that's the case, then there's no hope that they might change, and things will keep going just as they always have…"_

Patrica was no criminal. She was five years old…

"_Hmm. You have a point. But… if those people were…"_

"_Eliminated. And they only way to do that would be to kill off all of those bad people - and, in doing, become a murderer, the very thing you that you so despise."_

And suddenly, the flesh fell away from Kira's reasoning, exposing the rotting skeleton of his lies, and Light shuddered, seeing just how close he had come to falling into the cleverly laid trap.

He ran.

Lurching and scrambling, he clawed his way back up the thorn-ridden incline, towards the school as Kira snarled his fury.

Light dared a glanced over his shoulder as he gasped for breath, pouncing and scrambling his way clumsily over the dew wet grass, slippery beneath his feet. Nothing was following him, no dark, pursuing force.

Regardless, he ran faster.

Scrambling desperately, he reached the edge of the forest, at last. Stumbling and slipping, not daring to glance back again, he scampered up the sharp incline of the path he had taken going in--

Light suddenly stumbled to a halt at the realization of what he had done. But what had he done? Thrown away an opportunity at happiness, or denied an evil force?

Perhaps a bit of both.

"_Very good, Light._" Kira's voice, smooth and even, drifted across Light's mind. _"Come back,"_ he urged gently. _"You know you cannot last long without me. There is nothing to but misery for you if you do not return. Come, Light, come back. I spoke too harshly. Do not worry. I promise you, I will not hurt you."_

Light shuddered, struggling to keep his footing on the uneven ground. "Lies," he snarled hoarsely, but Kira seemed not to hear him.

"_Light,"_ the voice continued, sounding pleasant and inviting. _"Come to me. I can help you. Will you not join me?"_

Light shook his head furtively--but the effort made him dizzy and he stumbled backward a few steps, barely stopping himself from falling over completely. "No," he growled aloud. "You're wrong. I'll never need you!" His voice echoed strangely--it had come out louder than he intended.

"_You will,"_ Kira assured darkly. _"Trust takes time. But eventually…"_

Light drew in a deep breath, shaking his head resolutely and knowing full well which choice to make. He would not give Kira the satisfaction.

Slowly, without a backward glance, Light turned toward the doom he had chosen, and trudged back towards the academy.

-


	12. Chapter 12

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"_And it's true, I can't go on without you - your smile makes me see clearer - if you could only see in the mirror what I see." --Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade_

* * *

"Light-kun."

He shifted slightly, then opened his eyes, giving up the pretense of sleep. He hadn't wanted to sleep, as he knew exactly what sort of dreams awaited him. And, simply, he couldn't fall asleep, as whenever he began to drift off, he would suddenly jerk awake, startled by some fleeting memory of the night's events.

"Good morning," he greeted darkly. "Waking me up so that I can _pack_?" He didn't mind that his tone was edged with a bitter question, or that undeniable venom bubbled over in the last word.

"Hmm. That too," Ryuzaki admitted, hovering curiously at the foot of his bed. "Mainly, though, I was wondering how it is that Light-kun got covered in scratches while he was supposedly asleep."

"Maybe I sleepwalk," he supplied with an uncommitted shrug.

"Light-kun," Ryuzaki demanded.

He gave a heavy sigh, dropping his gaze to stare at the floor. Why was it that he'd never noticed how clean the floor was before? Especially considering the fact that Ryuzaki was always munching of crumbly sweets of some sort or another… He was going to miss this floor.

"I went outside and fell in a thorn bush." There. That was as truthful as he could possibly be without telling the whole story.

There was a long pause, then, "What on earth possessed Light-kun to break curfew for the sole purpose of falling in a thorn bush?"

"I was depressed okay?" he snapped, sitting up furiously. "So I went for a walk, and fell into the goddamned thorn bush!"

"Light-kun does not know the meaning of the word 'depressed'."

"I _think_ I do, actually."

"And what was Light-kun depressed about?"

"You're making me leave, aren't you?!"

"Seventy-two percent. I think it might be best if you pack your things immediately."

"Fine," he growled, getting to his feet. Immediately, a wave of exhaustion crashed over him, but he ignored it.

"Hang on - you don't have the authority to make me move out. This is just as much my room as it is yours!"

"Ah, but Light-kun, I have seniority."

"I don't care! What if I refuse?"

"Eighty-one percent."

Unfortunately for him, it seemed that lack of sleep had severely impairing Light's judgment, as the next thing he knew, he was sprawled out on the floor, arms wrapped around Ryuzaki's legs, actually _begging_ to be allowed to stay.

_Oh, how mightily thou hast fallen._

"Light-kun! Let go of me!"

"No! Please, Ryuzaki, I swear I'll never cuddle you again! Please, you've got to let me--"

There was a heavy thud as Ryuzaki overbalanced and was sent tumbling to the floor, struggling furiously against the grip Light still held on him. Twisting and squirming, he somehow managed to make it to the door, dragged himself to his feet, and, upon turning the doorknob, they both sprawled painfully out into the hallway, Ryuzaki still protesting, Light still begging.

"Light-kun! Get off of me!"

"Ryuzaki, please--"

He broke off, suddenly acutely aware of a watchful silence in the hallway…

As one, they froze, and slowly looked up.

A small group had assembled in the hallway, watching the struggle. Expressions ranged every from shocked, to amused, to disgusted, to annoyed.

Light had heard the saying "any attention is good attention". At the moment, however, he couldn't agree less.

"Awe, dude," chuckled a voice from the crowd. "That's what's up."

This earned a nervous laugh from the rest of the congregation, which began to slowly disperse.

"You can thank me later," Matt dismissed as he approached. Light glanced up, noting that the gamer was closely followed by a dark shape that could very well have been a shadow had it not moved independently. His heart sank - Beyond Birthday.

"Hmm," Ryuzaki agreed, shoving Light away and getting to his feet. "Thank you, Matt-kun."

"Yeah, yeah." He waved a hand, then looked away. Matt had never been down-right cruel to Ryuzaki, but he clearly didn't like him, either. "How's life treating you, Light?"

He shrugged. "Oh, you know… Beautiful… complicated… unpleasant…"

"That's what's up," Matt agreed, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette before seeming to remember that he was indoors and replacing it. "Listen - oh, hang on, I haven't even introduced you yet… Light, Ryuzaki, this is B."

Beyond Birthday nodded, offering Light a friendly handshake with a slight smile that did not reach his eyes. That smile quickly turned to a frown as he noted the thick gloves Light was wearing. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah," Light agreed darkly - when Ryuzaki shot him a warning glance at this unfriendly greeting, he sighed and elaborated, "So, what exactly is your gift?"

"I…" As he dropped his hand away, B made it a point of not-so-subtly brushing his fingers across Light's wrist, and as he did so, a look of bewilderment suddenly crossed his pale face. He blinked, tilting his head to the side in confusion he squinted at something hovering above Light's head. Light followed his gaze, slightly alarmed, but saw nothing. "…can see the name and lifespan of everyone I touch."

"Well, isn't that convenient," Light muttered, gesturing at Ryuzaki.

"Yes," Ryuzaki agreed blandly. "Please do not touch me, Beyond. Everyone I touch dies of a heart attack within forty seconds. It's most troublesome."

"Hmm." B nodded, still looking at something that Light could not see. After a moment, he gave a small, twisted smile. "Would you like to know when you will die, Yagami-san? It's surprisingly soon. "

Light flinched. B's use of his last name confirmed that his talent was real…

_Surprisingly soon?_

Then again, maybe he was lying. It wasn't as though there were anyway to know for certain…

"I think I'll pass," Light finally decided, straightening up. "Let it be a surprise."

"Have it your way," B shrugged. "Perhaps that's a good idea… often, people cause their deaths by trying to prevent them… knowing too much might be dangerous…"

"Ahem," Matt interrupted loudly, breaking the tension. "Yeah. So. Anyway. B was supposed to be my new roommate. Problem is, we don't like each other. Like, at all." B nodded again, slightly more enthusiastically this time. "As you can see, that's about the only thing we agree on… Then I thought, 'Hey, maybe he can stay with those dudes'." He gestured vaguely to Light and Ryuzaki to indicated that they were the said 'dudes'. "So. You up for it?"

Light scoffed. "Not really."

"If I remember correctly," Ryuzaki deadpanned, "Light-kun was just moving out. So, technically, this is not his jurisdiction."

"I'm not leaving!"

"To the contrary, I believe that you are. You can stay with Matt."

"Oh, sweet, roommate exchange!" Matt chimed in, raising his hand to Light for a high-five. "That's what's up!"

Light ignored him. "No! Ryuzaki--"

"Eighty-eighty percent."

"Fine! Just quit with the percents!" He gestured at Beyond Birthday. "But you can't seriously be considering having _him_ stay with you instead. You don't even know the guy. He could be like… a mass murderer or something."

Beyond snickered. Light shot him a glare.

"I seem to recall that at first, I did not know Light-kun either."

"That's different!"

"How so, Light-kun?"

"…Forget it." He cleared his throat awkwardly, turning to look at Matt. "But… doesn't that mean… aren't Mello and Near your roommates…?"

"Huh? Oh… No, thankfully." He scowled, and did not elaborate.

Thank God for small mercies.

"I suppose that I shall finish packing for Light-kun," Ryuzaki muttered, eyes on the ceiling as he turned and disappeared back into their room-- no, _his_ room…

"So, B," Light began in an awkward attempt to break the silence, "how'd you find out about your… death's eyes thing?"

B looked at him briefly, before going back to contemplating whatever he was seeing floating above Light's head. "Funny story. I always knew the name thing. The rest just looked like a jumble of numbers… until, when I… er… when someone _died_… and the numbers hit zero… Well, I put two and two together." He gave a dry laugh, and for some reason Light was suddenly reminded of a small snake - small, but nonetheless lethal. "It was wicked awesome."

"Death isn't entirely something I would call awesome, B."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." He met Light's eyes again, smirking. "Such as… The graveyard. It's always cold, no matter what, and you can smell death in the air. I find it sickeningly beautiful."

"Holy-carrot-cake-on-a-kitten," Matt breathed, edging away from B, as if he too had caught the suddenly fiendish look in those black eyes… eyes which almost flashed with a sort of reddish glint for a moment, like some sort poisonous insect…

Oh, no way in _hell_ was this guy going to get along with Ryuzaki…

At that moment, said roommate reappeared in the doorway, holding out a hastily packed suitcase to Light. "Here."

"Thanks," Light replied sarcastically.

They stared at each other.

"This is goodbye, then," Light muttered, suddenly regretting his irritability. If he could take back all those wasted moments he'd spent smarting off to Ryuzaki…

"You're forgetting something, Light-kun," he replied in measured tones, holding up a hand. "You won't be needing those gloves any longer."

"Oh. Right." Well, that would be a relief. Not having to wear gloves everywhere…

He quickly tugged them off, and handed them to Ryuzaki… who in turn passed them along to B. "Just to be safe."

Somehow, that made the arrangement seem all the more final.

"Right. Cool. Let's go," Matt suggested, walking off without a backward glance. Sighing heavily, Light turned to follow him.

"Goodbye, Light-kun."

"Yeah." His voice choked, and though he regretted how moody he was sounding, he couldn't bring himself to elaborate.

Instead, he focused on staring at the floor, until he could take it no longer and shot a look back at B… who stood eying Ryuzaki, obviously longing to touch him.

_Back off, buddy._

…_Did I just think that?_

_Whoa._

"I think B and Ryuzaki are going to get along well," Matt commented cheerfully. "I mean, they're both creepy… Not to offend you or anything… but seriously, they're like, made for each other."

"You think?" Light growled under his breath.

_Huh. Yeah, regular match made in heaven there… I'll give it two days, tops…_

"Hey, how'd you get all scratched up like that?" Matt asked suddenly, as if having just noticed.

"Thorn bush," was the automatic reply.

"That sucks."

"Yeah. Yeah, it does."

* * *

It was true - the room did reflect its occupant. While Ryuzaki's bedroom had been as unadorned as the clothes he wore, Matt's was in a state of chaos. The walls were absolutely covered in posters of various movies, bands, and sayings. Across the floor, newspapers, empty cigarette packages, and crumpled paper was littered here and there. On a small, round table near the open window, somewhat used napkins obscured the actual tabletop, and a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake was precariously placed on the edge.

'Half-eaten cake' was never in Ryuzaki's vocabulary…

"Home sweet home," Matt announced, immediately sinking down onto the edge of his worn mattress and snatching hold of a video game. "Okay. Zombie Attack 3. Let's do this."

Light stared at him for a moment, before turning to examine his own bed. Empty video game boxes and discarded instructions lay strewn across it, topped off with about a dozen candy wrappers. In short, it looked as though someone had detonated a nuclear bomb in the center of the room, and then forgotten to send in a clean-up crew afterwards.

No wonder the arrangement hadn't worked out with B…

He gave a heavy sigh, set down his suitcase, and sat next to Matt, who didn't so much as look up, as he was completely absorbed in killing hordes of zombies.

"How many levels are there?"

"Fifty. Right now, this is like… a piece of cake. Oh, shit, one snuck up on me… there we go… Damn things. Pardon my French, by the way."

Another zombie bit the dust.

"What's the plot?" Light tried again.

"Okay, so there's this mad scientist, right? And he's got some sort of solution that resurrects the dead. Only problem, it turns 'em into zombies. So what you have to do, as the hero, is break into his lab and defeat him. It's a fifty story building, and you've got to get past his zombie slaves on each floor. Fairly simple, actually."

Light held out a hand. "May I try?"

"Yeah, go for it." With a shrug, he handed over the control piece.

"Hang on, how do I shoot them?"

"Center button."

"And how do I run?"

"Top button… WAIT! Don't press them both at the same time!"

_GAME OVER._

They both stared at the screen as a small, animated image of a mad scientist appeared, laughing at them, and the game started to reboot.

"Whoa…" Matt commented.

Light frowned. "Did my little guy just die?"

"Yeah, weird… That was just the training level. I didn't even know you could die here…"

"…Oh."

"I've never seen the guy _trip and fall_ before, either," Matt pondered, scratching the back of his neck in confusion.

Light handed the control back, hanging his head heavily. "I can't even defeat some crazy guy with the power to resurrect the dead."

Not that Kira could necessarily be equated with a mad scientist, but the general concept was the same.

Obviously, the mad scientist in this game believed he was doing the right thing. Bringing the dead back to life could be a gift - but it was hollow, zombie-like, and much more of a curse. Kira believed that he was bringing justice to the world. And he'd offered to help Light - but… the question tormenting him, nagging at the back of his mind was, simply: would benefits outweigh the cost in this case?

"It's cool," Matt reassured, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it with a snap of his fingers. "There's always next time."

Light shot him a side-long glance, then went back to studying the stains on the carpet. "What if there isn't?"

"Huh? Of course there is. There's always a next time. That's the beauty of it. No matter how bad you fuck up the first time around, there's always a next time."

Well, no chance of deep philosophical conversations here…

"Shame that life isn't like that, huh?" Matt continued. "That'd be what's up, if it was. Bet Mello would have to redo last summer… that was an epic fail." He chuckled, then suddenly sobered. "Ah. Mello…"

"What?"

"Mello's… totally screwed up or something. He's like…" He gestured at the video game, which now displayed the leering face of a zombie, "like one of them. All quiet. Just sort of drifts through his day, like he's not really _there_ or something."

Light raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound like Mello at all."

"I know, right? It's like somebody cloned him, and the fake is a really bad actor." A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. "It's sort of giving me the creeps. We had a huge fight yesterday, too. You know how we always initiate the new kids?"

"I believe I know that better than anyone," Light muttered.

"Eh? Well, not anyone. We locked Teru Mikami in there on a Wednesday one time by accident. Haha, that was funny. Found in there on Sunday and he started screaming and threatening to kill us in Klingon. At least, I think it was Klingon. Might've been Xindian. You never know." He waved a hand. "Anyway, that's not the point. Well, you see, I suggested that we initiate that Beyond Birthday kid - which in itself it weird enough, 'cause Mello's usually the one to suggest stuff like that - and he said, and I quote 'maybe some other time'. Does that sound like Mello to you?"

Light shook his head. "Just because he didn't want to initiate one creepy kid doesn't mean he's been cloned, Matt."

"Yeah, well, that was just the final straw, ya know? He's been acting totally out of it for, like, a month now. But anyway, yesterday, I called him on it, and yelled at him a little, then he threatened me and stormed off - well, it was more of a trudge, actually. Haven't spoken to him since, and I don't really want to…"

A month…

A distant, faint memory tugged at his thoughts.

"Speaking of Mello…"

* * *

"Well," Matt began slowly when Light had finished recounting the incident, "that's pretty damn weird. Especially the blood part…"

"Yeah," Light agreed. "Definitely something going on there."

"Hmm… Perhaps more conclusive evidence…"

"What more do you need? He was randomly covered in blood that was most likely not his own, and then you notice him starting to act bizarre right around the same time? I think that's the most evidence we're getting."

"No… I mean…" Matt half-heartedly killed off another zombie slave, frowning, and cast a sideways glance at Light. "We need to find out if this sort of thing has happened before."

"Why do we need to do that?"

"Because if there's some sort of devil worship crap going on, then the same thing must have happened some time in the past. That's how it always goes." Hr shrugged, as though this should have been obvious.

"In movies, maybe! Listen, Matt, I don't see how we'd find out even if something did happen in the past I mean--" He broke off suddenly at the look that had fallen across Matt's face. "Oh no. Why do I sense the phrase 'I have a brilliant plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?"

"I didn't understand a single word you just said, but I just had a great idea."

* * *

"Matt!"

"What?"

"You're humming the Mission Impossible theme again. Quit it."

"Sorry… You know what, this is like, one of those locks that it's impossible to pick." He sighed, fidgeting with a paperclip and straightening it out again. "I say we kick the door down. That'd be what's up."

"Matt." Light ran a hand over his face, taking three deep breaths before continuing, "The point of this is that we don't get caught. Breaking the door down would increase the likelihood of getting caught!" Likelihood. Great, now he was even _thinking_ like Ryuzaki…

"Yeah, well, I'm getting frustrated with this damn lock! It's never so difficult in the games…"

Light rolled his eyes, and turned away, instead self-electing himself the look-out. However, seeing as this hallway was only used by teachers, who were currently preoccupied with teaching class, it seemed to be a pointless precaution. Light knew full well that he was going to be in trouble for skipping Chemistry, but that sort of added to the thrill.

Yes, they were entirely alone as they scrambled desperately to pick the 'impossible lock' - alone until a tall, ghostly figure drifted through the wall, shooting them curious glances.

Light lifted a hand to give the ghost a cheerful wave and a smile.

"What? You can see me?" it barked immediately, already huge round eyes widening ever further.

"Yeah."

"What?" Matt asked, looking up briefly.

"Dead person."

"Oh. Right. That's creepy."

"Odd. Most people just… sort of ignore me," the ghost sighed, approaching them. "What are you two doing?"

"We're just… Actually… you've been around here a long time, right? Have you seen any sort of weird, occult-looking rituals that involve a lot of blood?"

"Light, this is bizarre," Matt pointed out, looking around as if hoping to see whatever his new roommate was talking to. "Really bizarre. I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were completely mental."

Light ignored him, instead waiting for the ghost's answer

"I'm not entirely on your side, you know. So _why_ should I tell you?" he replied after a moment.

"I don't know… because you want to be helpful?" Light frowned - most dead people were typically well-mannered, pleasantly surprised just to have someone to talk to. This guy…

"Ha, no," he replied, shaking his head and beginning to walk off. "Nice try."

"Well, you're entirely useless," Light shot darkly.

"Hey!" Matt straightened up. "I'm doing the best I can! You want to be the one to pick the lock? Go ahead, be my guest!"

"Not you!"

"Oh."

Another five minutes, however, confirmed that it really was in an impossible-to-pick-lock. Light still adamantly refused to allow Matt to kick down the door, and, for the time being, they were forced to leave it be.

Then, more for the sake of avoiding the teachers who would likely have noticed their mysterious absence, they both made the apathetic agreement not to go to the dining room for lunch. Rather, Matt spent the afternoon teaching Light the finer points of Zombie Attack 3, and by the time dinner rolled around, he was able to get out of the training level - in fact, he almost got past the second level before 'the little guy' suddenly dropped dead.

"Hang on - what just happened? That zombie didn't even bite off my head. It just crashed into me. Why did I die?"

"Your stamina got depleted. Don't worry, at least you're improving…"

"You have to worry about stamina, too?"

"Well, duh."

Light yawned hugely, not bothering to point out how completely ridiculous it was to assume that he knew that sort of thing. He consoled himself with the fact that if he hadn't been so tired, he probably would have mastered the game already…

Yes, even in real life, zombies and evil powers weren't the only things you needed to worry about… stamina was important, too.

Another yawn.

Yep, that was important.

"Tired?" Matt asked as the game began to restart.

Light fought back to urge to say something bitingly sarcastic. "Just a little hungry," he lied.

"Well, eat something," was the practical word of advice.

"Yeah, but what's the excuse for skipping all day if one of the teachers corners me?"

"Say that… I'm trying to quit smoking, so I made you stay with me all day so you could… er… help?"

"Please, Matt, not even I buy that one."

The gamer shrugged, smirking playfully. "You're on your own then. Hey, bring me back something to eat."

"Why don't you get it yourself? How am I supposed to know what you even _want_ to eat?"

"Hmm, you know, something good. Surprise me."

Light glared. Perhaps he'd gotten used to Ryuzaki's detailed instructions when it came to food ("A larger slice of cheesecake. With cherry flavoring. Not so much cherry as to be overpowering, and not so little that it doesn't off-set the taste of the cheesecake, bearing in mind that the slightest mistake either way, and it's ruined."… To which Light had sulkily replied, "Oh, whatever shall we feed the duchess?"), but this vague order of "something good" was rather annoying.

He gave up on arguing, however, and walked off before loosing his temper completely. Ah. This was going to be a tricky arrangement.

* * *

He found Ryuzaki and B sitting together at the end of one of the tables.

This wasn't surprising to find, but…

It was somehow painful…

"Hey," he greeted glumly, sitting opposite them and making it a point of directing his attention at only Ryuzaki.

"Where were you all day, Light-kun? We did not see you or Matt in class today."

"Er… well…" He was drawing a blank, and finally decided to go along with Matt's excuse. "Matt has decided that he wants to quit smoking… and I had to stay with him because of… withdrawals?"

"Hmm, really? …You do realize that you probably should have stayed with him all day then, rather than joining us down here for dinner?"

_Well. That was surprisingly easy…_

"I think he'll be fine alone for a few minutes…"

"Obviously, you have never experienced an addiction before."

"…It's fine…"

"Well, do whatever it takes to help him," B put in. "Drugs, straightjackets, electroshock…"

Light firmly decided to ignore that.

"So… did I miss any huge assignments today?"

"Nothing you can't go and ask about yourself," Ryuzaki replied calmly. "I'm not going to promote any further rule-breaking to Light-kun by making it easier on him… no matter how honorable his intentions."

"Good to know I can count on you."

B sighed impatiently. Light shot him a dark glance, noting with a sharp jolt of horror that the new student was still staring at some point over Light's head with an expression that was not quite sadness or interest, but something of a mix between the two… As if he were…

Watching a countdown.

Light shivered, and abruptly changed the subject. "So, why is it that so many of these 'gifts' rely on touch anyway?" he chuckled nervously.

"Actually, Ryuzaki and I have done some research into that very question," B supplied brightly, his gaze unmoving. "Apparently, only the most… 'powerful' of gifts really work without actual physical contact. Such as yours." He blinked. "Wonder why that is… It does seem, however, that Ryuzaki's gift is designed deliberately to block out other, similar gifts, such as mine. Like a poisonous toad's defense mechanism - a sort of look, don't touch thing. Odd. This suggest that there may be a genetic strain which triggers such gifts, as the odds of one such as Ryuzaki's appearing at random are very low…"

Light missed about half of this spiel, as the very first sentence sent his imagination into overdrive. _Research? They're reaching stuff together? They've barely known each other for eight hours! That's ridiculous. Ryuzaki isn't that friendly. No way… no way… Hang on - Ryuzaki NEVER researched anything with me… Could it be that he likes B better?_

"Light-kun looks distracted," Ryuzaki pointed out, leaning forward slightly, as if analyzing him. "It doesn't seem likely that he is having a difficult time following this conversation, but…"

"It's _fine_," he growled.

_He hates me. That's the only logical explanation. He never even said that we were friends. He was probably just tolerating me that whole time. Yes, and now B comes along, and they're suddenly the best of friends. C'mon, what's so special about this guy? We don't even know anything about him. Where did he come from? How'd he get sent here? He could be one of those weirdoes who goes around poking people with pins for all we know…_

"Light-kun… There is only a two percent chance that you're telling the truth with that statement." He chewed his thumbnail pensively, eying the ceiling. "Perhaps Light-kun's crankiness can be attributed to the fact that he is obviously sleep deprived."

_Sleep deprived? Gee, you think? This is all your fault. You and your double-chocolate-whatever-the-cookies. Ha. Speaking of cookies, what was all that crap about not liking baked goods? You obviously like B. Oh, yeah, B's good-looking, isn't he? Good-looking in that sort of sickly, dragged-back-from-the grave, never-seen-the-light-of-day way that you're SO attracted to…_

"It's fine, Ryuzaki. Yeah, I haven't slept in a while, but…" He momentarily forgot what he was talking about, and finished lamely a few seconds later, "Yeah, I'm fine."

_Yes, everything is as it should be. You're happy, and I'm one of the popular kids now. So everyone gets what they want…_

And, suddenly, grim realization hit. He was going to have to take Kira's deal.

So they didn't exactly see eye-to-eye when it came to the morals regarding killing criminals. So he was going to have to dig up some centuries-old evil. Whatever. He could do that.

What he couldn't do, was continue with this torment. It couldn't have hurt more if some insane doctor had dripped acid into an open vein - all that he cared about at the moment was getting this to just _stop_. One thing after another - if not one hopeless dilemma, then the next…

"Hello, Light," a new voice interrupted.

He turned slowly, recognizing that voice and absolutely dreading it. "Near."

"Where's Matt?"

"…In his room?" Light suggested darkly. Near, of all people, wasn't going to by some crap about Matt trying to quit smoking.

"Why did he skip class today?"

Damn it.

"He has his reasons…" Light muttered evasively. How was he going to get Matt's excuse past someone who actually knew him?

"Light says that he's trying to quit smoking," B put in cheerfully.

Light cringed, and made a mental note to teach B a small lesson about _discretion_ later.

"Did you kill him?" Near asked immediately, though his tone remained just as flat as ever.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because that's obviously an excuse. If you killed him, it's fine, you know."

"No, Near, I haven't killed Matt."

"What's going on, then? Is he sick? Does he have cancer?"

"Near, why would you--"

Near suddenly seized hold of the front of Light's shirt, shaking him. "Tell me. Is Matt alright?"

Light looked at him curiously, amazed that Near would actually instigate physical contact of any sort. "Yeah, he's… hang on, you're not concerned, are you?"

"Of course I am. Matt is my best friend."

"…You don't _look_ concerned."

"What?"

"…Never mind." He cleared his throat, looking down and studying the wood patterning of the table rather than meeting anyone's eyes. "In all truthfulness, he spent most of the day teaching me to play _Zombie Attack 3_."

"Light-kun," Ryuzaki warned. "You skipped class to play a video game?"

"Playing _Zombie Attack 3_," Near mused. "Not… doing something else?"

Light shrugged helplessly, unsure which question to answer first.

"That's… alright, then. But… Matt never even let me touch his video games…"

"Yeah, well, he's sort of protective of them… I guess it's a personal thing…"

"Thank you, Light," Near muttered, walking off without another word.

"That kid has issues," commented B, as soon as he was out of hearing distance.

And that made Ryuzaki actually _smile_.

Light firmly decided then and there - he hated B.

* * *

"Hey," Matt greeted, not looking up from his video game as Light walked in. "What'd you bring me?"

"Huh? Oh. Nothing. I forgot."

"You forgoooooot…?" Matt whined. "C'mon, I'm dying here."

Light couldn't muster up much sympathy for this problem. In fact, the two bites of an apple that he'd had suddenly seemed like two bites too many, though he hadn't eaten anything in quite some time now. "Sorry," he answered dully, slouching into the bathroom.

"Dude, you okay?"

"Fine."

He wasn't fine. He felt… miserable.

"You sure?"

Unable to respond aloud, Light only shook his head, though Matt couldn't see this gesture.

He pressed a hand to cold glass of the bathroom mirror, staring back at his reflection.

"_I would hope that humanity is not so corrupt that it cannot see beyond appearances."_

…True, Light had frequently been praised regarding his appearances. But what if that didn't matter to Ryuzaki; what if it was personality that really did matter to him?

Then… did _B_ have a good personality?

_"And what do you see when you look at me, Ryuzaki?"_

_"I see a kid who really needs to study for his calculus exam."_

He gave a heavy sigh, turning away and rejoining Matt in the main room.

"…Light? You look a little pale."

"Turns out that I'm tired after all."

Matt gestured to the box-covered bed. "Go to sleep, then. You can clean it off - I don't need that junk anyway."

Light did just this, then apathetically flopped down, half-on, half-off the mattress.

After a moment, Matt's voice broke the silence again. "Hey," he muttered gently. "You've been here all day. You still haven't unpacked."

No. To unpack would be… to accept it.

Instead, with a shrug, he leaned over and began going through his suitcase, searching for something to sleep in. He was hardly paying attention, until his hand brushed some sort of soft, thin cloth that was oddly unfamiliar. Frowning slightly, he clenched his fingers upon it and drew it out, a surprised breath catching in his throat upon seeing what he was holding.

A plain white t-shirt.

One of Ryuzaki's.

How this had ended up in his suitcase, Light couldn't quite imagine. Ryuzaki never left clothes lying about, so the odds that it was a mistake seemed rather slim. But…

Without a second thought, he pulled off his own shirt, and instead tugged this one on. The cloth was soft and cool against his skin, and smelled sweetly of something vague and distant.

_Ryuzaki…_

Light drew in a ragged breath and buried his face against the soft fabric, his heartbeat quickening as he greedily drank in that delicious scent, as one would drink water after a long thirst.

Something hot and wet slide down his cheeks. With a shaky hand he reached up and brushed it off, and stared down at his hand as he realized what it was.

Tears.

He was crying.

Light couldn't even remember the last time he cried, except for the fact that it was quite a while ago. The idea shocked him, and for a moment all he could do was stare down at his hand in confusion, unsure of whether to laugh or cry harder.

Eventually, the second option prevailed.

* * *

He didn't sleep.

As exhausted as he was, he couldn't still the buzzing, hazy thoughts swimming through his mind long enough to relax. Kira, Mello, B, _Ryuzaki_…

Eventually, dawn made a sluggish appearance, feathering bleakly through the open window.

Ryuzaki never left the window open. It was as if he was afraid that some thin ray of sunlight might fall across his skin and _burn him_ or something.

Also, Ryuzaki did not snore.

Sniffling, still trying to smudge away the all-prevailing tears, Light dragged himself out of bed, and reluctantly changed his clothes, removing Ryuzaki's t-shirt last and setting it neatly to the side. He vaguely registered that his normal hygiene routine, which involved showering and actually combing his hair had been entirely disregarded, but couldn't very much bring himself to care.

He sighed. Though he was loathe to do so, he knew that he needed to return Ryuzaki's shirt before it's absence was noted.

Hmm. Maybe that could pass an excuse to see how badly B had screwed things up…

* * *

He had to consciously remind himself to knock before entering. There was no reply, but neither was the door locked, and Light cautiously pushed it open. "Ryuzaki…? B…?"

No one.

He wasn't sure whether to be put out that he had missed the opportunity to see Ryuzaki, or glad that he did not have to see the new happy pair…

_Huh. Jealously. Strange thing…_

Sighing and fighting back another sudden, unwarranted outburst of tears, he crossed to Ryuzaki's bed, and gently set down the t-shirt, which he had folded with meticulous care. And that would have been the end of it, and he may have been allowed to escape with a tad bit of dignity, but…

His foot brushed something.

Looking down, his gaze settled upon a disheveled pile of papers, just barely visibly from beneath Ryuzaki's bed…

Frowning slightly, he knelt to examine them.

_Light Yagami Sleep Pattern: Day Unknown_

…Oh crap.

_1:09 - Light-kun begins making odd sounds. Distinctly catch the phrase "No, Dad, everything's fine!"  
__1:10 - Light-kun has subsided into silence again.  
__1:45 - Movement! We have movement!  
__1:46 - It's over.  
__2:33 - Definite activity. Making very strange sounds, complete with tossing and turning. Wonder if he's okay.  
__2:34 - Hear my name thrown out there. Hmm. Wonder what's going on.  
__2:35 - I think he's mad at me. Has begun actually screaming my name. Repeatedly. It's quite frightening, actually. And… rather interesting… very interesting… though perhaps that is not the right adjective to describe it…  
__2:37 - Light-kun suddenly jerks awake. I am currently pretending to be asleep.  
__2:38 - All clear. Light-kun mutters something about "double chocolate sugar cookies" before resuming sleep. And I thought he didn't like them. Liar._

Light flinched. Damn. The worst possible time to have his sleeping activities _documented_.

He couldn't quite muster enough enthusiasm to be angry, however.

Flipping through the next few pages revealed nothing but a few unlabeled percentages, and complicated math formulas. At one point, there was a small drawing that may have been a line, or a deformed circle with feathers-- oh. An arrow. Well, no one had ever accused Ryuzaki of being a grand artist…

The last page, tucked away as if in hopes that it would never see the light of day, was something different, though…

It was titled:

_9/24. Dear Diary…_

…No. Freaking. Way. Ryuzaki kept a diary?

Glancing around to make sure that he was indeed alone, Light read on.

_There is much that I would like to relate to you down, perhaps as a record, or perhaps as a confession, but I dare not, for fear that someone may read it. Paper can be read. Minds cannot. As long as I say nothing, reveal nothing, I am safe.  
__The bells are loud today. Sickeningly so. They make it difficult to think, which is why I am writing some of my thoughts down… it's difficult to stay organized otherwise.  
__I wonder if I should tell Light-kun about the bells. Maybe he can hear them too.  
__Then, perhaps I should not hope for that. I know that hearing things that supposedly aren't there is a sign of madness. I've been told again and again that's it's not a good thing. But I do not feel insane. Even though they are ill-omened, I am glad that to be able to hear them. The only constant thing I have, really. I would never say that I love the bells. No. Everything that I love, I destroy. It's much safer not to love the bells…  
__Or Light-kun, for that matter._

After that, an ink splotch, then nothing more.

Light stared at this last sentence, then, blinking, reread it. Maybe sleep deprivation had caused him to read that wrong. Or interpret it wrong…

No… there is was, plain as day…

_This is a dream. That's what happened. I finally passed out, and this is a dream…_

"Light-kun?"

He jumped, startled, whipping around to find that Ryuzaki was standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing?"

He quickly slid the papers out of view again. "I was just… Actually…" Perhaps lack of sleep was severely impairing his judgment now, but a plan was sluggishly beginning to take form, "I think I might've left a few of my clothes in the bathroom by accident. Would you mind going to check?"

Ryuzaki nodded slowly, hands in his pockets as he slouched into the bathroom. "Of course, Light-kun… I simply wish--"

Light slammed the door shut, and propped a chair against the knob.

"Light-kun?" The door knob rattled. "Light-kun, please let me out of the bathroom."

"No, no, I really don't think that's the best idea," he called back airily, going to the room's main door and locking it. "After all, why would I go through all the trouble of locking you in there if I was just going to let you out five seconds later? It simply doesn't seem logical, does it?"

"Let me out of here, Light-kun," Ryuaki growled. "I do not appreciate being locked in the bathroom."

"Really? Sorry. But you'll have to do something for me first."

"This isn't funny."

"First off," Light continued, ignoring this protest. "Did you put your shirt in my suitcase?"

"Light-kun, that is absurd."

"I notice that you didn't express confusion as to what I was talking about. Interesting. I'll take that into consideration. Second question - why did you tell me that you don't like baked goods? Is it that you really don't, or that you just don't want to encourage my attraction to you?"

"You admit it?" Ryuzaki shot immediately.

"It's my turn to ask the questions."

No reply.

"You could always just stay locked in the bathroom, you know. We've got hours and hours. And I happen to know for a fact that you can't go very long without eating one of those sugary snacks that you love so much - some times cookies, sometimes marshmallows, pretending on how deeply you're thinking about a problem. I don't know, can you go through sugar withdrawals, Ryuzaki?" he shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

"Light-kun, I get it, you noticed that I don't always eat the same snacks. Now, would you please let me out of here?"

"True, I have noticed," Light admitted. "But you still don't get it. And your avoidance to the question once again simply answers it for you." He was pacing, a smile, unbidden, on his face. "Right. Next question. Have you noticed how truly beautiful you are?"

"Light-kun!"

"Not so easy to get me to shut up when you can't stare me down, is it? Now. Back to my question. Have you looked in the mirror lately? I mean, seriously."

"Light-kun, please stop this." Ryuzaki had softened his tone considerably, as if desperate. "I understand what you are trying to do, and it is completely unnecessary. I don't need to feel good about my _appearance_, of all things. And if you're just trying to point out that I have a great _personality_ or something--"

"Nope," Light cut in. "You don't understand. You do have a wonderful personality, but it's really more than that. It's how you somehow pull off that just-rolled-out-of-bed hairstyle, even though you obviously comb it everyday. Do you know how I know that? Sometimes your hair is parted to the left - if you're in a quiet mood - or to the right, if you're obsessing over some sort of philosophical question that you _can't wait_ to ask me. You see? I did notice. I have common sense after all. Ha."

There was a long, heavy sigh. "Alright, so you noticed that sometimes I look different, too. That doesn't change the fact that--"

Light interrupted gently, "Okay, okay, let me talk. I'm not finished yet. You don't get it, no, not just yet. It might help if you were to look in that mirror while I talk. You know, that's what your eyes remind me of - mirrors. You try to hide it with that expressionless facade, but really, your eyes absolutely _shine_. I think I'm the only person who's noticed that, including yourself. That's sort of a fun thought. That I'm the only one… Alright, I'm getting sidetracked. You still looking into that mirror?"

"…Light-kun…"

"Good. Now…" He yawned, then continued, "I already told you what I think of your personality. You asked me one time, I remember. Right after you said that didn't care about your looks. Well, I believe you, but now I'm telling you how you look, huh? Funny little twist there. Hmm. I'd like you to take a moment to appreciate how pale and _soft looking_ your skin is. You know mountain lilies? Never cared for those flowers, no, not until I met you. That's what your complexion reminds me of. Not to get too poetic, of course, I'm just stating a fact. Also, why don't you examine your hair - how it's all silky and soft. I know that you wish it wasn't because that would make you less noticeable, but that's another one of those things you just can't really help. Then… Just think for a moment about how weird it is that you're still so thin. You're always eating, and I've never once seen you exercise. You have any idea why that is?"

"It you use your brain, you won't get fat," came a muffled, slightly broken reply.

"That's your reasoning? Doesn't seem very logical. Then again, you're always preaching logic to me, but then you go and contradict your own logic. Confusing as hell - I've come to accept that some of the best things in the world _aren't_ logical." He smiled slightly to himself, leaning his head gently against the door, and continuing in a more matter-of-fact tone, "Alright, those are about the only _constant_ traits that make you beautiful. There's other ones, like how you smile or laugh, how you get that dreamy, far away expression on your face when you're figuring out some sort of percentage, or how you look when you're asleep, but you can't replicate that right now. Too bad." A smirk made itself present at the silence that followed. "You seeing it yet?"

Another long stretch of silence.

"I know you're probably getting sick of being locked in the bathroom. Sorry about that. Well, regardless, I think it's best that I ask this next question to your face." He set the chair aside and pushed the door open. Ryuzaki, his head tilted curiously to the side, his hands in his pockets, was gazing at the mirror blankly, completely still, save for his soft breathing. Then, slowly, as if time itself had drawn to a crawl, he turned to look at Light. "Yes?"

"Do you love me?"

"Light." He'd dropped the honorary. "I think that it is best if we forget this conversation ever took place."

"I would try to forget my own name for your sake, if I knew that somehow it would bring you happiness," Light answered, his voice choked and ragged. "But I will forget nothing unless you can look into my eyes, and tell me that you do not love me in the way that I love you."

They stared at each other.

"Light. I do not."

At those words, Light's heart stopped upon a beat, only to resume at a furious pace as he tried in vain to deny what he had just heard.

He could not suppress a bitter, tearfully disbelieving smile. "Liar," he choked out, agonized, and clutching desperately at that thought. "Liar."

"Perhaps it would be the best if we discontinued our friendship," Ryuzaki went on, looking at the ceiling. "Because… any kindness from me would be…"

"Torture."

A slow, miserable nod. "Goodbye, Light-kun," he muttered, voice timid and broken now, his head hanging heavily as he brushed past, and slipped out the door.

* * *

"_Kira?"_

"_Yes, Light?" There was definite satisfaction in the simple question… almost as if the creature already knew that he had won without having to hear Light's next words…_

"_I'll do anything you ask."_

-

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-

-

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	13. Chapter 13: Meetings

**_This is my first chapter since taking over this story. It's just a short one to get me started. Please review. _**

**_Also because_ I have school and homework, the chapters will be short but I hope to update at least twice a week. **

**_._**

_"Kira?"_

_"Yes, Light?" There was definite satisfaction in the simple question… almost as if the creature already knew that he had won without having to hear Light's next words…_

_"I'll do anything you ask."_

_Kira smirked at Light, "I always knew you would come over."_

_Light clenched his fists, this bastard was mocking him. "No you didn't. Unless you can read my mind which I highly doubt you can."_

_"Oh, but I do know you Light. You see, you and I are the same person." Kira's smirk grew as he watched the disbelief and then the horror show itself in Light's eyes._

_"What do you mean?" Light demanded trying to keep his rage in check._

_"Oh that story can wait for a later date Light. We wouldn't want to spoil this wonderful day would we?"_

_Light clamed himself down, he would not look weak in front of this monster. "Fine" he said through clenched teeth._

_"Wonderful." Kira smiled again, but the smile nearly made Light flinch…it was too evil. "Misa you can come out now."_

_Light's eyes widened as he saw a small figure make its way towards them. She stopped at Kira's side and bowed politely to Light, "Hello Light." She said softly before taking Kira's hand._

_Light couldn't believe she could stand almost lovingly next to the man she claimed killed her. "Patricia?" Light nearly gasped._

_"No." Patricia shook her head. "I am Misa."_

_"No you're Patricia! Your mother works in this school, Kira killed you!"_

_"That was a lie." Misa stated simply._

_"Kira didn't kill you?" Maybe Kira wasn't so bad after all._

_"No he killed me. But the rest was a lie." Misa smiled and held Kira's hand tightly._

_Light looked up and stared into the other mans eyes. "Kira, what the hell is going on?"_

_"Don't talk to Kira-sama like that!" Misa shouted._

_"You see Light; a filthy criminal killed this poor child's family. And he nearly got away with it; so I killed him and set sweet Misa free." Kira said lightly, in the same tone someone would use when talking about the weather. At the same time he was gently stoking Misa's hair._

_"Then why did you kill her!? She's just a kid!'" Light shouted._

_"Oh Misa said she would do anything to help me and make me happy just like I made her happy. Isn't that right Misa?"_

_Misa nodded happily. "I will help Kira-sama. I was at this school when my pearnts died and I have a talent he could use."_

_"Why did you kill her?" Light pressed._

_"I'm dead." Kira stated simply. "I work with death. It would be much simpler for both of us if Misa was dead too, so I asked her and she agreed. "_

_"And I couldn't hug him if I wasn't dead." Misa looked horrified at this thought._

_Light was beginning to think this Misa girl was either the most stupid person alive or was a lot younger than five. Light could tell by Kira's smile that he was most likely the one who killed Misa's family. He used them to get to this little girl, and Light hated him for it. But he needed Kira, as Kira could help Ryuzaki._

_Hiding his emotions Light gave a strained smile to the little girl. "You came to this school? What's your gift?"_

_"My gift works on everybody!" Misa bragged, then frowned, "Expect for you and Kira-sama. I feel I tug in my chest when I meet someone my gift does not work on. And it's only happened twice." Misa held up two fingers._

_"So what's your gift?" Light asked the child again._

_Misa smiled at him. "Using my mind I can control what other people do."_


	14. Chapter 14: Misa

**Sorry, I've been busy so it's another short chapter. We have been having lots of tests at school at the moment. I'm sorry that the chapter is late, I could not get my computer to work over the weekend. Please review.**

…

…

…

_Light's eyes widened at Misa's words, she could control peoples minds? Could she make them act in ways they never would normally? Could she make them do horrible things? _

"_You've be controlling Mello!" Light accused. _

_Kira chuckled darkly, "You're very quick Light, but I would expect no less of me."_

"_I am not you!" Light snarled, he would never be like this bastard. _

"_Oh Light, you are very ill-tempered tonight. I think you are upsetting Misa, shall we call his meeting off?" It was an innocent enough question but Light could see the horrible glint in Kira's eyes. _

"_No! I'm sorry, don't go." Light blurted out. "Why did you have Misa control Mello?"_

_  
"Because," Kira said with a wave of his hand, "I was bored."_

__

"What did you make him do?" Light clenched his fists.

"_Oh Light," Kira sighed, "You ask so many questions that I am not ready to answer." _

"_Misa and I must be going now, goodnight Light." Light knew Kira was about to leave, but he couldn't let him leave yet, he had a few more questions. _

"_How could Misa control Mello if she's dead?" Light pressed._

_Kira turned to face Light, dragging Misa along with him. "Misa can answer that, can't you sweetheart?"_

_'Sweetheart?' Light mentally glared at Kira for openly taunting the child. _

_Misa nodded happily, "Silly Light, I can control peoples minds remember? All I had to do if control him into seeing me." _

"_How strong is the control?" Light questioned, slightly worried about Mello._

"_It is stronger when the person I am controlling is willing." Misa stated._

"_Was Mello willing?" Light needed to know to know the truth._

"_That's enough." Kira cut it. _

"_Kira, may I speak to Misa alone?"_

"_No." Kira said quickly. _

"_Why not? Are you scared she will betray you?" Light taunted. _

_Kira's eyes flashed with rage, then he smirked at Light. "Only you and I can wander around in this dream world alone Light, if Misa went off without me she would fall into darkness and never return." _

"_What if I met her in the real world, in the church in about half an hour? What if I promise to ask her nothing about you, your plans or Mello?" Light asked._

"_Fine." Kira snapped, he then turned to Misa and hissed into her ear, "Do not tell him anything important." _

"_I understand Kira-sama." Mira chirped happily. _

_That was the last thing Light heard as he faded out of the dream. _

…

…

_..._

"Light?" Light awoke to someone roughly shaking him. "Light? Man, are you okay?"

"Matt?" Light groaned.

"Light you've been screaming in your sleep. You've been screaming about some chicks called Misa and Kira. What are they, your girlfriends or something?" Matt sat down on Light's bed.

Light glared at Matt. "Misa is a five year old ghost and Kira is the psychopathic MAN who killed her."

Matt stared at Light, "Man, you are a real sicko. I mean dreaming about a-"

"It was not like that. It was a nightmare." Light snapped. Normally Light would never tell anyone, let alone Matt about his dreams but tonight he felt stressed and alone, but most of all he felt... depressed.

"Okay then, oh and you were shouting Mello's name?" At his Matt averted his eyes from Light's face and suddenly seemed to find Light's T-shirt very interesting.

Light resisted the urge to groan, his old roommate never bugged him like this. _Well at least Mello doesn't write about me while I'm sleeping. _Light tried to make himself feel better but it just made him feel worse, it felt like he had a hole in his heart that kept getting bigger.

"In my Nightmare Mello was kidnapped by Kira." Light lied, but it was close enough to the truth to make his heart ache painfully.

Light got out of his bed and made his way to the door.

"Where are you going?" Matt asked, also standing up.

Light paused and then replied, "I'm going to go see Misa."

…


	15. Chapter 15: One Cut Too Deep

...

"Where are you going?" Matt asked, also standing up.

Light paused and then replied, "I'm going to go see Misa."

"It's two in the morning." Matt stated.

"I promised her I would go see her." Light sighed, resisting the urge to hit Matt.

"Then I'll come with you." Matt grinned, throwing his arm around Light's shoulders.

"I want to speak with her alone." Light rolled his eyes.

"Please?" Matt begged.

"Fine." Light lied.

As they walked towards the church Matt whispered, "Is Misa the one who let you out of the church when we locked you in it?"

"Yes" Light replied curtly. Light pushed the church doors open and stepped inside.

"Misa?" He called.

"Light? What's he doing here?" Misa frowned, floating above Matt, Matt of course did not hear her.

Behind Matt's back Light mouthed the words _'Lets get out of here, we'll look him in.' _

To Matt Light said, "Stay here, I'll see if she's behind the door."

Matt nodded and Light made his way out of the church. "Now!" Light shouted. Matt spun around but it was too late as Misa had already locked the door.

"LIGHT! LET ME OUT NOW!" Matt screamed.

" No way. It's Sunday tomorrow." Light laughed.

"Where are we going to go?" Misa asked.

"Up to my room." Light told her, holding out his hand for Misa to take.

Misa took his hand and they made there way up the stairs.

Once they got to the room Light flopped onto Matt's bed. "That's not your bed." Misa stated.

"Yeah I now, but it will piss Matt off."

"Are you mad at Matt?" Misa sat down next to Light.

"A little, he asked me about my dreams." Light turned to look at Misa, she was small but cute with pale skin, long blond hair that fell just past her shoulders in ringlets and large sparkling blue eyes.

"Oh" She said dreamily.

"You're not really five years old are you?" Light looked down at the small girl.

"I was when I died." Misa told him.

"How long about was that?" Light asked.

"Fifteen years ago." Misa sighed.

"So if you lived you would be twenty now." Light said.

"Your smart!" Misa beamed. "I would be five years older than you!"

"Is your brain five years old or do you have a mind of a twenty year old?" Light asked.

"Twenty I think. I died at this school. It was not shut down as I was just a weird orphan, no one cared that I died." Misa sighed.

Light knew why she went to Kira, he most likely was nice to her and pretended to care. "Go on." He urged.

"So when I died I stayed here and still went to all the classes. No one could see me, but I was still there learning. " Misa smiled.

"You know you would have made a great actress. When I met you I really did think you were five." Light hated telling people they had fooled him, but he needed to win Misa over.

Misa beamed. "Thanks. When I was alive I wanted to be a model."

"You would have been a great model." Light told her.

"Um, thanks Light. So why did you want to speak with me?" Misa asked.

"Can you please free Mello, and promise me you will never control him or my other friends again?" Light grabbed Misa's small hands. "Please?"

Misa bit her lip. "I don't know. Kira-sama might not like it."

"Please, just Mello, Near, Matt and R-" Light paused before he said the last name, he felt his heat clench. "And Ryuzaki."

Misa looked into Light's eyes, he looked so much like her Kira-sama. "Okay." She sighed, "Just them, but Kira-sama might not like it."

Light gently kissed her cheek, to say thank you, and then paused. "Misa? I was holding your hand before and I just kissed you! How is that possible?"

"Kira-Sama said that if you realized that I have to give you this note." Misa took a note out of her dress and handed it to Light.

_**Dear Light,**_

_**I knew you would notice that. I control death. Because you and I are the same person the closer you are to me the more power you get. You are using our power so you can touch Misa.**_

_**Give this Note back to Misa**_

_**Kira **_

Light swore under his breath. That bastard. If Kira could let Misa touch him why did he kill her? He said he killed her so they could be closer. If he could already touch her then why? Kira most likely ordered Misa not to read that note. Light wondered what Misa would say if she learnt that little secret.

_Why does Kira keep saying I am am him? I'm not._ Light shook his head to clear his mind. He gave Misa the note back.

"Kira-sama told me I could only spend an hour with you Light. Goodbye." Misa said.

"Wait!" Light shouted, but it was too late, Misa had already gone.

….

….

….

L sighed as he typed a letter to the Australian police informing them he knew who was responsible for the death of a thirty year old Australian woman. L normally found pleasure in his secret job as a detective, it had been his escape for six years, solving one case after another. He had started at the age of thirteen, as he had decided he needed to repay the world for the lives he had taken.

Being a detective was a pleasure to L, but ever since he met Light, being a detective was not enough anymore. Light was like a drug to him and he hated himself for it. What if he hurt Light, could he still live knowing that his first real friend died because of him? He knew the answer was no.

But it tore him up inside knowing he had to hurt Light to save him. Did he love Light? L was seventy-nine percent sure he did. L put down his laptop and stood up, he glanced at B to make sure he was asleep.

L made his way over to his desk and pulled out a small pocket knife. He felt ashamed for doing this, he swore to himself he would not break Light's promise. L told himself he would not kill himself, he just needed a little pain. He deserved pain for hurting Light.

L felt the blade cut into his flesh, and was about to take it out when he slipped. _No!_ L's eyes widened, he went too deep. And then the pain hit him.

...


End file.
